When it all falls down..

The thing is you know you should have been walked away. You ignored the signs and got comfortable. Every time you got that gut feeling to walk away you ignored it thinking this time would be different from the last. You fed into the lies, the countless nights you lay in bed alone wondering why you are alone; you wake up wishing it was all a dream. You hung on to the good days as you cried wondering how someone could not love you as much as you loved them. The time passed so fast, 1 week turned to 2 months which turned into years. Now you feel you have come too far to start all over with someone else. You have invested too much time, too many tears, too much money to just walk away. When you close your eyes you see you and this person together, happy, smiling, and in love. You did all that you could to make this work. If you walk away now, what would that say about you? You love this person, are you giving up too soon? How soon is too soon? Is it worth starting all over? Will you be alone? Question is why do you feel alone while you’re with someone? Question is, how many excuses have you made for this person? You could see other people but then you a just get mad at yourself and the other person like, why can’t you give me the kind of attention this new person is giving me. You know me better this stranger and yet you treat what we have like it’s nothing. You treat me like I’m nothing. You know about my ex’s and why it didn’t work with them and yet you turned around and did the same thing. But.. Who can you be mad at? You can’t be mad at the person you dealing with because you could have been walked away. You could have been ended all the madness, all the uncertainty, all the questions, all of the let downs, and all of the bullshit. But, you didn’t. So you can only be mad at yourself when it all falls down. This person has been the same since you met them. You just built this person up in your head to be everything you ever wanted in a lover and as the time passed; you realize that it’s all false. That you set yourself up to be let down. -Dizzy

You have been put in... THE FRIEND ZONE!!

You did everything right this time. You waited to have sex. You let your guard down and opened up to this person and they did the same. You went on several dates before you actually seen one another house. In the couple weeks that you two have been kicking it, neither one of you crossed the line. It’s been the best experience you have had in a long ass time. One day you go to the person and tell them how you feel. How you really like them and hope that what you guys have can escalate to something more, something special, something serious. As soon as you let your guard all the way down and as soon as the butterflies in your stomach became a familiar feeling when around this person... BOOM! They put you in the friend zone. Tell you that you are more like a brother or sister to them and they wouldn’t want to mess up a good friendship. Instantly the butterflies in your stomach drop to the bottom like stones into an ocean. It wouldn’t have been so bad if you weren’t so into this person. It wouldn’t be half bad if you didn’t sit and daydream about future days spent together. Now you’re mad as hell but have to remain cool as if you completely understand where they coming from but.. you don’t.

The thoughts that run through your mind instantly after are almost crippling. Did I try to hard? Did I not try hard enough? Am I ugly? What did I do wrong? What makes it even worse is a couple weeks later this person hits you up telling you about trouble their having with someone new. As if you care to hear about that shit. In your mind you thinking “if you were with me you wouldn’t even have to deal with this shit, dummy!” But what can you do? You don’t even know where you went wrong to correct it in the future and if it has happened to you once, then it has happened to you twice. As the years go by it becomes a familiar feeling and as sad as it may seem you get use to it. You get use to everyone wanting to be best friends with you. You grow accustomed to having the feeling that you’re not good enough. Fuck respecting me! You don’t want to mess up a good friendship? Fuck this friendship! I’ll be your enemy if that’s what it takes to get closer to you. Who invented this friend zone shit? Who was the first person put in the friend zone? How did they react to this shit? Did it eat away at their confidence and self-esteem after a while? I’m not losing my cool but hell, how cool can you be sitting in the friend zone with the dunce cap on? If you ever been put in the friend zone, drop a comment. -E