Social Net-working?

I honestly think I’m burned out by social networks. For something that keeps the world connected I honestly feel like it is separating us and making most of us forget how to be personable with one another. Our generation has this weird obsession to voice everything we feel via blog and status updates. Like you are that important that you have to tell the world “I’m in a shitty mood right now!” Who in the fuck cares? Are you really that lonely that you couldn’t keep that to yourself? I feel as if most people just want to be heard or seen. Spent their whole life wanting to be heard and now they can finally talk and someone can see it.

I also don’t like how people rely on the internet to keep up communication. People spend over $300 for a phone but only use it as a social network checker, texting device and a GPS. Try calling somebody in your phone and I bet 7 times out of 10 they will ignore the call and text you. No one likes talking on the phone anymore BUT they will call your ass on skype in a heartbeat. People don’t even know how to flirt or start conversations anymore because of this. If someone likes you, they won’t tell you when they see you but they will poke the fuck out of you on facebook and confess their love via twitter DM or facebook.

Are social networks really working in reverse? Instead of keeping us connected I feel its breaking up real friendships and relationships and allowing us to hide behind profile pictures and 140 character text conversations. It has gotten to the point that it is not used for social networking because if someone sends you a link to anything you report them as spam. People build these fake personalities when they get behind a keyboard. They develop this internet confidence and get a high off how many RT’s they can get or how many likes they can get on a status and or picture. I know a lot of low confidence women who seem like divas on these social networks. I know lame ass guys who get on twitter, become an asshole and all of a sudden are cool. I don’t see it getting better, only worse. These are just my thoughts though. Peace.

Message To The Angry Black People

Dear angry black person. I find it that its people like you that keep our race from moving forward. Black people still complain about slavery and want to be treated special but want to also be treated equal. Certain people complain all the time on how we as black people are perceived in the media and I for one don’t understand how. Black people never know how stupid they look doing something until a white person do it to make fun of them. For example, we get mad when we see a commercial of a white person wearing big dumb ass baggy clothes with du rags on (with the flap out word to @Dormtainment), big dumb ass chains and platinum teeth. If we don’t like the way the media portray us then maybe we should stop acting like that. Just a thought. Stop saying ignorant shit like “it’s a part of our culture.” Why that got to be a part of our culture?

Black women, if you hate that the media portray you as loud, angry, bitter and money hungry then maybe most of you should stop being loud, angry, bitter, and money hungry. We have to stop thinking the media sets the tone for how we act and maybe they are just showing us what they see. Black women always feel objectified by the videos with the half-naked women in them. I think because they think black rap artists are the only one who has sexy women in their videos. Country artists do it as well. They have like 100 blond women in bikinis jumping in pools and showing boobs.
How did we get mad at John Singleton for Boys in The Hood and Menace to Society? Its black people who really live like that and that movie connected with them and told their story. If something doesn’t connect to you it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or objectifying us as a whole. We have to do better as a whole and stop playing victim. We still are asking for 40 acres and a mule. The fuck would most of you do with a mule let alone 40 acres? Nothing at all. Stop feeling like the world owes us something because they not giving us shit if you haven’t noticed. But if some of you want to continue to play victim and seem weak amongst the other races then that’s fine, just do that crying and shit on your own time. Thanks.

Letter to the side chick

Hey, how you doing? I take it you have been talking to this guy for a couple months. You guys go on dates and everything is looking up, right? Right. So you have met the family and you feel slightly important. He even lets you keep a toothbrush over at the house and a couple of outfits! YAY! Well if its that deep, why hasn't he made you the girl friend? Why hasn't he made it official? I'm sure you 100% with being a couple. You want to change your facebook statuses and what not because you know a relationship isn't real until it's posted on the net, right? Riiight. So really, what's the hold up? Let me guess, you have no idea and every time you bring it up to him he changes the subject. This might come as a surprise but you're the side chick.

I don't know a guy that waits forever to make a girl his girl, unless he just a whore. Either he likes you or he doesn't. It's not rocket science. Unless he had a girlfriend for years before you and she cheated on him then killed his dog, broke his playstation 3, and slapped his mom he will not be that hurt that he can't commit. Even though you running around and telling people you in a relationship, you're not. Even though you frown your face up at girls being the side chick, you are a side chick until given the title. Stop being scared. Demand something or part ways. Better that then "talking" to someone for a couple months only to find out you two aren't going to be a couple. I personally think once you over the age of 21, saying I'm "talking" to someone already lets me know ain't shit popping off. Either we together or we not. Think about that, especially if you been talking to someone for longer then a couple weeks.

Sex.. Great for your health?

I made a comment on twitter (follow me right now, @thafamousnobody) a few weeks back about people basically killing themselves being celibate for so long and people went crazy. Mostly women who already mad they can't get good sex on a daily sent me crazy replies. A lot of other women hit me with that classic line "your a man and you a think of anything to get sex." I decided to do some research and provide actual facts on it.

Sex Relieves Stress & Eases Depression- The health benefits of having sex to relieve stress and to ease depression have been proven. For men, their release calms them and sends happy chemicals to their brain. For women, absorbing semen works as a natural antidepressant and helps get rid of stress.

Relieving pain- An orgasm releases natural chemicals like endorphins in the body, both before and during climax. These endorphins have a similar chemical structure to morphine.

Weight Loss & Boosting Cardiovascular Health- Sex can burn off as much as 700 calories while less vigorous love making burns at least 200 calories. Sex also lowers blood pressure, boosting cardio health, and reduces his risk of heart attack. Lovemaking improves strength, flexibility, and muscle tone.

Organic Orgasm = 10 All Natural “Medicine Cabinet Cures -Get busy getting frisky since the big O is the all-natural medicine cabinet. If you have a headache, then bonk your way to temporary headache relief. Forget Tylenol, having a headache is an excuse to have sex right away to cure you. It’s practically the cure for the common cold. Having sex stimulates those wonderful pleasure endorphins as well as antibodies to protect you from getting the flu or a cold. Once-a-week sex produces 30% higher levels of immunoglobulin A, boosting the immune system and fighting off disease. Sex can relieve a stuffy nose; it’s is a natural antihistamine. It can even help combat hay fever and asthma. After frolicking under the sheets, your hormone prolactin surges and fires new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb. This means after doing the horizontal hustle, you have a heightened sense of smell. In fact, after sex all your sensitivities are heightened, including activating your taste buds. Sex can also help protect those pearly whites, so you have better teeth. And it doesn’t get much more all-natural in ingredients than the minerals in semen, such as zinc and calcium, that have been proven to slow tooth decay. Selenium, an ingredient found in semen, might also serve in protection against cancer.

Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk-Men in their 20s can cut their chance of getting prostate cancer by 1/3 by ejaculating more than five times a week. But older men also benefit from frequent sex, as 21 or more orgasms a month are linked to a much lower prostate cancer risk. The more he climaxes, the less likely he is to develop prostate cancer.

Cuts Risk Of Breast Cancer & Gives Better Bladder Control- Sex can help reduce the risk of breast cancer for women who have never given birth. A study showed that if a female increases the frequency of sex, she decreases the risks of breast cancer. Sex strengthens the pelvic floor muscles that control the flow of urine. Kegel exercises occur naturally during sex, giving women better bladder control.

Sex Boosts Confidence- When things are great in bed, your confidence will increase. Sex therapist Sandor Gardos says, “When things go well in bed, you feel more confident and powerful in other parts of your life.”

Sex Boosts Energy & Helps You Sleep Better- For women, the testosterone absorbed from semen can boost her energy. For men, the more sex he has, the more testosterone he produces which is the driving factor responsible for his sexual desire. Both parties get an energy boost from sex. However, sex also helps you sleep better. The oxytocin released during big O also promotes sleep. Insomniacs, regular romps are the all-natural and most assuredly the best way to help you catch that needed shuteye.

With all that said, the next time you think sex is just something to do, consider the health facts. It's meant for us to have great sex! Its meant for us to make out! Stop thinking so hard and bust a nut. It a literally kill you faster holding out.

facts from http://webecoist.com/ & http://health.msn.com/

Is sex really a bad base for a relationship?

I've ran into a lot of females who think that sex would be a horrible base to build a relationship around. I disagree. Some might say you should base a relationship on trust and or communication. I can see where they are coming from but in my opinion why does it matter as long as its a strong base? You can talk to someone for months without sex (communication) but then have sex and can no longer be interested in them. You can trust someone all you want but not be physically attracted to them.

I know a few women who have guys they can go to and trust and also have great conversations time and time but would never date them. That natural feeling you get called being horny is undeniable so why you can't you build a relationship off of something you feel naturally? What's so wrong with that? Nothing is wrong with that, that question is rhetorical.

Now in no way am I saying that you should just purposely go out and sleep with someone then try to build something around it. I'm simply saying don't be appalled at a relationship forming around being sexually attracted to someone. You have to start somewhere right? In my head I think people think too hard about it, just let it be. If you make a base just make sure the base is strong enough to withstand anything so if you gone base it around sex you better be porn star status when them lights go off. If you want to build a relationship on trust and communication that's great too, just don't object a relationship because you were sexually attracted to the person from jump.

Beautiful black woman... Grow some balls

African American women have to grow some balls. They seem to only speak exactly how they feel once everything is over. They allow themselves to be second or third to a man. They allow themselves to be just the fuck buddy or just the home girl, never demanding anything more. Step back ladies and ask yourself, what the fuck am I doing here. Look at the guy you dealing with and ask “what the fuck are we doing here?” A lot of women are scared to ask this question because they don’t want to scare the guy off but fuck that. It is better he leave now because he scared then to drag it out any further. Once you are an adult you have to handle every situation like an adult including relationships.

I want women to stop thinking that God will bring them a good man just cause. I know women that are 50+ and have no one. How do you explain that theory to them? God plays favoritism? You simply can’t play hard to get, have a list of preposterous requirements, listen to your single girl friends telling you “girl fuck men, we got each other”, and then say God is going to bring you someone at the end of the day. I don’t think it works like that.

Some African American women believe that a guy has to be perfect for them right off the back. He shouldn't need any molding, training, guidance, or anything and if he does then they ready to be on to the next. Well got damn, really? Let me ask you something, how long have these methods worked? Can’t be 21+ still believing the same shit you believed at 15 or 16. Something has to change. The common denominator in every failed relationship you have been in is, you.

I think a lot of women want the love they see in the movies but that shit is fake and written by someone. I think a lot of women look at movies and believe it is suppose to happen exactly like that or it’s not real. Sometimes it takes sacrifice and change and unless you are willing to change and make sacrifices then you are playing to lose. Stop allowing men to do whatever whenever. Make these cowards man the fuck up. If you don’t then you can’t cry when they don’t.

Women and Love

I know a lot of women and all of them have the same problem, MEN. Women love ass holes and hoes. Well most of them anyway. Women seem to be so intrigued by guys who don't give a shit about them and even more intrigued by guys who fuck a lot of women.

Women often want to see what the big fuss is all about with a hoe so they have lunch with the guy or even fuck the him. Other women want to change the guy into a house wife from a hoe. It's like a challenge. "Girl my pussy so good he will stop having sex with them other bitches and fuck with me only!" I know females who haven't actually said that line out loud but have thought it. Well then they can't turn the guy into a housewife and get heart broken and say all men ain't shit. Be mad for a couple weeks, claim they bout to start "doing them", meet another hoe and do it all over again.

Women don't date new guys. They date the same exact men with different faces. Women are so smart when it comes to other things like school, and their career but are the dumbest creatures when it comes to protecting their hearts and falling in love. Every woman has a sweet guy in their phone that wants to take them out and treat them nice but they will never notice him because their too busy chasing someone who doesn't want them. The classic game of cat and mouse that can't seem to be put to rest.

I don't like that nice guys actually finish last Aka lose but they do. I don't know how to change this or if it will ever change. Ladies just be sure your not looking for a challenge when looking for love cause like challenges, you can't win them all. You fall victim in believing that love happens like it does in the movies. Well it don't and you will become bitter towards love from thinking that.

I hate relationships..

I hate dealing with someones emotions. I hate returning phone calls. I hate meeting parents. I hate opening up and starting over. I hate cooking for two. I hate sharing my bed. I hate paying for two at the movies. I hate hearing about friends and how they always let you down. I hate that I have to stop flirting. I hate the way you get real bitchy one week a month. I hate that you go through my phone. I hate being asked where im at, who im with and what I'm doing. I hate giving up my freedom. I hate all of that shit! But.. I love how you make me forget that I hate all that shit. I love how none of that matters when I'm with you. I love how everything I hate became everything I loved when dealing with you. -thafamousnobody 

So.. You Celibate?

I meet a lot of females that are celibate these days. I ask them why and the give me 1 of 2 reasons. A, they holding out until they get into a real relationship or B they doing it to be more spiritual. To get more in tuned with themselves because sex was a big distraction. Now the first reason, waiting on finding a partner I can understand and respect. Anything other then that reason is just silly to me. If you can't have sex because it distracts you from life then my friend you have a problem. If you just decide to not have sex I can respect that but don't make up a crazy ass reasons that make you look like you can't control the little man eater between your legs. I know that secretly some women don't have sex because they enjoy it way too much and want it more then they would like to admit. I don't want to offend the celibate females that read my rants because that's all they are. I know a female that said she was being celibate so she can be closer to God. If the guy dick was that good that it made you lose sight of God, maybe you should keep him around. I know if I had a girl who made me get out of touch with what I believe I am going to marry her. That's some powerful pussy. If sex distracts you from being you then what you gone do when you get married? Stop having sex for two months so you can regroup then pick it back up? Can a celibate female please tell me what's this all about. Please.

Kiss... and tell.

I never was the one to kiss and tell. I just thought it was tacky as hell. My ex kissed me and told everybody that wanted to listen. She had a group of friends she was once cool with and told them everything. They would always look me up and down when they seen me and smile. On some petty shit. Me and her broke up about a year ago, I thought that was the end of that.

I seen her friend Tasha at wal-mart, one of the friends that use to look me up and down. I instantly thought she was gone be on some bull shit because of the break up but she wasn't. "Hey boy, long time no see!" She reached for a hug and everything. I replied with I'm good and gave her a hug. She started walking with me and talking. We never had a conversation before so this was kind of weird but it was coming natural. She was cute and very funny. Finding a funny female these days was like finding a pot of gold! So we walking down the cereal aisle and she insisted we exchanged numbers. She pulled out her phone, I pulled out mine, we hugged again and parted ways.

A week went by before she actually hit me up. "Damn, was it something I said? Why haven't you hit me yet?" I read the text and instantly laughed. I could picture her saying it. We started texting back and forth till she insisted that I come over for tacos. I love tacos so I went. She stayed close, real close. I get there and she opens the door with a hug and a smile. She was so damn loving. I don't remember her being this way. Shit, if I remember correctly, she was the bitchy one. The apartment was really nice and smelled good. She had the stuff for the tacos all on the table with soft and hard shells. I loved it. We started eating while listening to oldies. A little bit of Marvin, little bit of Al Green, little bit Earth Wind and Fire.. I love a woman with good music taste. I ate about 6 Tacos, I didn't mean to eat that much but I was hungry. So we just sitting at the table talking and she brought up my ex. "When the last time you talked to ___?" I hate talking about my ex cause she gets on my nerves. "Shit, about 10 months. I don't talk to her at all." She nodded and asked me did I want some more Vodka and juice, I nodded yes. So a couple hours fly by and we just talking. She start talking about how she always thought I was cute and was always bitchy with me cause she was mad my ex wasn't keeping me happy like she was supposed to. Said the ex told her all about my dick game and it had her curious.. Then it started.

She got up and sat on my lap.. Then kissed me. I kissed her back because her lips was soft as hell PLUS... Who am I to turn her down? Kissing leads to touching, touching leads to grabbing. The shirts come off. I pick her up and take her to the couch where she took her pants off and unbuttoned mines. She looked good as hell in her vickies. She had the pink lace shit on which made me go crazy. I was also mad because all I had on was some gray hanes lol. So she started kissing on me and seeing how women rarely do this these days I fell in love with her instantly. I pushed her back and kissed all over her body. Taking my time because I wanted to admire her body low key. I took her bra off and panties. She was sexy as hell. I took my hanes off and she grabbed me and asked me for it. I pulled a condom out my pants pocket and gave it to her. It was sooooooooo good. I was deeper then I was supposed to because at first she was pushing me back then she got use to it and asked for it deeper. She got on top of me and started riding me and kissing me. That intimate shit. I'm not really a fan of it but again, I couldn't and didn't want to turn her down. I liked it. A lot. We had to be going for at least a hour. Just kissing on one another and fucking. It was the best I had had in a long ass time.

I woke up (mind you I don't remember falling asleep) and it smelled like food. I got up to find her cooking breakfast in the pink get up with her hair wrapped. She smiled "You were slobbing in your sleep. I didn't want to wake you." I hate slobbing in front of company! I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. It was just silent until she brought my plate out to the table. "___ was right, you are the best that I have had in a long time." I looked at her and she busted out laughing while walking back into the kitchen. I already knew my ex talked about me to her friends so this is not surprising just can't believe it would benefit me at the end lol. I didn't care, I finished eating and turned to iCarly, DIZZY! -@ThaFamousNobody (twitter)

My dating requirements

So my home girl was telling me what she wanted in a man and the shit was just too fucking funny but she was SERIOUS. She had a real list of things that a dude HAD to have in order for her to talk to him. I thought to myself that maybe I was being foolish on just wanting a connection and to be attracted. So.. Here is my list.

1.) She has to weigh 155.5 pounds. I don't want her no smaller or bigger.
2.) has to be able to cook in 6 inch heels. (fantasy reasons)
3.) Her car and house MUST remain spotless at all times.
4.) Her voice has to be soft and angle like.. Like Fergie and Jesus combined.
5.) Her booty can't be too big and not too small. Don't want to draw attention.
6.) Has to have hair EXACTLY 2 inches past her ear.
7.) When she fart it has to smell like taco bell and pot roast with cinnamon.
8.) Has have been in a shoot out in broad day light. *IMPORTANT*
9.) she has to be able to roll a blunt and change a babies diaper at the same time.
10.) Has to recite the words to WHOOP THERE IT IS before we have sex.
11.) Can't have ANY PARENTS! Not trying to deal with bitchy mom or mean dad.
12.) Has to have a tattoo of thug life somewhere on her body.
12.) Her titties cant be sagged out. They have to be sitting up and paying attention.
13.) Have to know the words to FANCY and PROTOTYPE. If you don't know those songs...
14.) You have to be able to type and text at least 50 words a minute. late night texting reasons.
15.) Have to be able to run from police and jump high fences.. (Don't ask)
16.) Have to be able to recite the words to ATL.

I think that's all I want for right now. Lol. The shit don't make no kind of sense. Not one of those talk about connection, trust, anything! Hers didn't either so I guess I'm on the right track!

Lets talk about.. White girls

So I'm out with a friend of mine. Me and him just strolling round the city of Atlanta soaking up the sun. We stopped in this store and the lady was cute as hell. I liked her style. Her hair was in a sloppy pony tail but it was cute. Arms all tatted up. But.. She was white. I wanted to holla at her but I didn't know how. Why you ask? You holla at a white girl just like a black girl you say.. Wrong. Why is it different? Well all my life my mom has been saying "if she can't use a comb.. DON'T bring her home." I never knew what the hell that meant but basically she was saying don't bring a white girl home. So I just had to get it out my head on dating them. Now that I'm grown and don't give a shit, I want to holla! But it takes some time to get use to it.

The reason I don't believe that you talk to them the same way is because the same shit aint important to them. I'm talking real white girls by the way, not the ones who "act black." Like do I be extra polite, do I speak like I got a education? I be watching the movies and they always say "you want to grab some coffee?" First of all, I don't do coffee so I aint grabbing any but we can grab some apple juice and sit on the steps and just chat it up. Like, you have to find a nice ice breaker and a common ground and since I don't have any white home girls, I don't know what they like. I haven't been around them to learn them. Hell what if I try and talk to one and she a low key racist? Maybe I'm thinking about it too hard. I just feel weird when I come at em that way, like I'm not suppose to. Then if we do date, every time we go out all the black girls gone mean mug her and shit. Like they wanted my ass anyway. Disregard that last line. That was a angry line from deep down in the inside. The lady at the store said don't be afraid to talk to white girls. They don't bite. Am I the only one who feel a lil funny talking outside their race? I mean folks who are on the west coast don't answer. If you in NY don't answer. I'm talking about the midwest area and down south. Reason I say West coast is because.. Yall so diverse. and NY. Do black females feel funny talking to white guys? Maybe it is just me.

I'm sure a white guy would feel intimidated talking to a black girl for the first time. All the negative shit they see on tv about black women. He probably a be scared as hell. I also don't want to have the women in my family feel like they have failed with me because I dated outside the race. I honestly don't see a color, the world make me see a color. I think about too much stuff when I see an attractive white woman and it keeps me from approaching her. What should I do? Go up to her and be like "Ay, my name is Eric, whats yours? I aint ever did this but wanted to tell you I think you cute and would love to just have a conversation with you." She be like NIGGA PLEASE!!! hahaha aw man. Naw, fa real. Yall think I got problems? Let me know. @ThaFamousNobody

So wrong.. So Good..

Over my moms house straight from work, she lives close to my job so I come over at least once a week and eat all her cereal and watch a movie. Just to relax, see her and fill my Fruity Pebbles fix. I was watching Seinfeld and eating my cereal when my mom walked into the living to get on the computer. My mom is a very loud person when she on the phone with her home girls. VERY LOUD! So I'm watching t.v and trying to ignore her, but, it wasn't working. "Yeah girl, my son gone house sit for us this weekend while me and my hubby go on our get away trip." I turned around and looked and she started smiling and continued to talk on the phone. First off, I didn't know she was going out of town. Second, I never agreed to house sit. But, I mean how do I tell her no? She will bring up EVERYTHING she has ever done for me. "Boy I gave birth to you and you mean to tell me you can't house sit for me for 2 days? That's fucked up!" I caved in. The good thing is, they had all the movie channels which I couldn't afford and a fridge full of food. I'm there!

I go home and pack a little bag of clothes, grab my iPod, laptop and I'm out the door. When I get back to mommas house, they were already gone. I used my key to get in, make myself at home and take a shower. Watching t.v. and on twitter while listening to my Phoenix play list on Pandora.. Nigga.. I'M CHILLIN *Kanye Voice*! Couple hours later I hear a knock at the door. I take my time to get up because UPS be delivering wigs for my mom. They knock once and leave the box at your door. I open the door and look down for a box and seen legs, sexy legs. I knew those legs, those was Ms. Tracy's legs. I looked up and spoke. "Hey Ms. Tracy, my mom gone for the weekend. Want me to tell her you stopped by?" I knew she knew that momma was gone because she was the person on the phone when my momma asked me to house sit. "Oh I know baby, I came to get my jacket your mom left in her room for me." I moved out the way and let her walk in to get the jacket. Ms. Tracy was like fam.. Almost.. Aside from me having a crush on her since I was like 16. Beautiful divorced woman in her late 30's. She never and will never know that though because I tell NO ONE! She gets her jacket and walks back through the living room and ask me "Baby what the hell is twitter? Am I too old to know what twitter is?" I laughed and told her naw. "Show me what its all about, I need to stay in tune with whats going on in the world. I aint that old am I?" I liked her because she had a strange sense of humor and is always speaking her mind. "Sure, take off ya jacket and put that jacket down and I'll show you right quick. I aint doing nothing." She does so and sits on the couch. Takes off her heels and gets comfortable. She seen my empty bowl on the floor and asked "So you not gone offer me a bowl of cereal? Boy you got NO manners, I'm a guest. I GUESS you not use to having a woman around you huh, I gotta teach you a few things." I didn't know what to say, so.. I didn't say nothing and got her a bowl of cereal. Give it to her and show her how to use twitter while the music is still playing. We just vibing out, laughing and joking. I seen a side of her that I never seen and never expected to see. You never know a woman till you see her with her "hair down". Couple hours passed and she got up to leave. Walked her to the door, she kissed me on the cheek and left. I shut everything off and down and went to sleep.

Woke up and went to the gym. Came back, showered, cooked breakfast, got dressed and went to the mall. I came back and took a nap. Woke up to someone knocking on the door. I opened the door and looked down again because I wasn't expecting anyone to be stopping by.. I seen legs.. Again. "Boy you need to learn how to keep your head up when answering the door. You got down syndrome when answering doors?" Ms. Tracy ass wait.. Ms. Tracy smart mouth ass! We both laughed. She had on this long ass rain coat. Maybe it started raining when I was sleep so I invited her in. "What's up, you forget something yesterday?" "Yes, actually I did. I hope I didn't interrupt you or anything. Were you sleep? That's a trick question because your breath smells like it even if you weren't." I loved her since of humor. "You stupid, you know that right? But.. Naw, I wasn't doing nothing. You not interrupting." "Good, now take my jacket. We have to work on your manners boy." She turned around so I could take her jacket and as I take off the jacket I see no shirt but a bra strap.. Then.. Matching underwear. Black EVERYTHING.. Bra, panties, and heels. I got nervous. VERY NERVOUS! "Don't stand there with ya mouth open, that's my job. Take me." I grabbed her hand and headed to my mothers room. This was soo wrong. But.. I wanted it. I swear I started walking in slow motion. Every step I thought how good it would be but what is going to come of it after it was done. I wasn't nervous about fucking, pussy is pussy. You treat it the same way, how good it is a different story.

Shit speeds up and she throws me on the bed and climbs on top of me. We take off my shirt and shorts as we kiss on one another. Her lips were soft as hell and the way she worked her tongue was amazing. She definitely knew what she was doing.She grabs my dick and kisses it as if she loved it. Sucked it and I swear to you. My toes curled and I was grabbing for shit that wasn't even there. I think I even started rapping a Tupac verse.. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TUPAC! I had to make her stop or I would have nutted and fell asleep. NO BUENO! I threw her on her back and kissed her all over her body. She was beautiful. Toes, legs, thighs, pussy.. Pussy.. Pussy. PUSSY! I stayed there extra long. "Fuck me." I don't know where a condom came from but it magically appeared on the night stand so I used it. I can't really describe what the sex was like. Just know.. It was magical! Not regular magic like making a quarter disappear. I'm talking about Harry Potter magic. Black magic! It was passionate, nasty, hot and sticky. Now that I think about it. I should have got it on cam cause the shit was epic. From hitting it from the back, riding me, riding my face, fucking standing up, in the shower.. I fell in love some where in there. No. I'm serious. So after we get out the shower. I lotion her up and rub her feet. "You are pretty good. I didn't expect you to keep up with me. I couldn't resist it. After chilling with you yesterday, I felt closer to you. I haven't been that comfortable in years." I just nodded and kept rubbing her feet. I didn't talk, just in case I was dreaming. I didn't want to talk and then wake up.

"So now what" I asked as she was leaving. "We a figure something out baby. You grown aint you? We can do whatever we want." I loved that answer, kissed her and watched her walk to her car and drive off. Got back in the house, showered again, cleaned up, sprayed, and tried to wrap my head on what just happened. Couple hours later my mom called. "What you doing? You haven't burned my house down have you?" I told her know and that I was watching tv. "We a be home in the morning, just wanted to call in advance to let you know. Get them stanky booty hoes out my house if any in there." OooO.. Only if she knew.. It was sooo good.. But.. So wrong.. Damn!

So.. Your gay?

Let me start by saying I am not a homophobe. I don't have many if any gay friends. But I don't have a problem with them. This post is not to the gay men, yall do yall thing and sword fight all yall want. ON GUARD! It's to the girls who date studs. I was in walmart and seen this cute ass girl near the ketchup. She sized me up, I sized her down. She smiled, I smiled. I grabbed the ketchup for my burgers and went to get my cereal. Well I bumped into her again in the milk aisle but this time she was with a stud. The stud started mugging me. Now if anyone mug me I feel like something has to be said but the stud is still a female and no matter what I would be wrong if I hit her in the head with my Fruity Pebbles. Then I started wondering why females date studs. They look like guys.. They dress like guys.. They use dildo's and fuck you like a guy. So.. Why date the stud? I get it that some women aren't attracted to men so they date women. That's cool and I understand. I don't understand girls who date fake guys though. I know you don't get a sense of security with the fake guy. Can someone please break that down for me? I'm not trying to be an ass, I just don't understand that concept. Like, if you like girls looking like a guy, then just be with a guy. You get the same thing right? But the real thing. I hope I made sense and didn't come off like a complete ass. I am a complete ass but I know how some folks are about that topic. Sensitive! Help me out so I can know. Thanks. Peaace!

How to fall in love...

Shit came to me in a dream I swear.

Have you ever started liking someone you weren't suppose to be feeling? Like a friend of the family, someone over the net or something? You know you started liking someone and you KNEW you wasn't suppose to, I know I ain't the only one. Anyway, you wondered how you started liking them so much? I figured that shit out!

When we know somone like us or we like someone, some of us tend to start playing mental games. It may sometimes happen subconciously. I know some girls who play the "I don't want to seem too available or desperate so I won't text back right away or not answer his calls." I don't know what guys do because I don't date them so females when you comment list some shit dudes do when they "play games." We all have screenings for our potential lovers. For some of us its looks, for some of us its money, status, all the other silly shit that sometimes don't matter but hey, we do it. That inhabits us on finding someone we really "connect" with. You need a connection. You need to be able to lay the friendship foundation down first. If you meet someone and instantly like them, the friendship foundation won't be laid down. Why? Because you front for the person you trying to impress. You never let them see you with your guard down. You with hold information thinking they will judge you and look at you different. BUT!

When you can just be YOU, you let your guard down and things flow how they should. You are honest and open because you don't care what this person thinks of you in that department. Sex isn't pressed because y'all just friends and probebly fucking someone else. Ya mind is clear in the sex department. Girls let guys they aren't interested in see them with their house clothes on and shit. Hair all wrapped, cut up shirt, no make up, holy socks and shit. We don't let stupid shit get in the way like dates. You don't have to go on a date, don't have to do the movies and dinners. Y'all just friends so y'all kick it at the house and watch bootleggs or Fresh Prince and talk. Y'all eat home made dinners or peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. Y'all talk about past relationships and share honest sex stories. You aren't afraid to show emotional scars because you aren't trying to impress this person. You two talk about the people you are actually dating and low key size them up. After awhile you start thinking, man I can be with this person. I love them. They make me happy all the time. That's how it happens isn't it? Did I leave anything out?

When we like people I think we get into the dating hype. Following rules and guidelines and have no idea why and it fucks us up. Now a days I feel like people are dating strangers. You don't really know the person you kissing and spending all your time with. You are infact in love with their representative. Its a side of them you haven't seen because they know it a probably drive you away. How do we fix this? I don't think we can because the dating game is stuck in our brain. The ability to just keep it funky with someone you want to be with is scary to most of us. We have a fear of rejection so some of us naturally do these things to keep from being rejected. Hide some things about our past, hide some flaws, always try to be attractive to the person rather it be always wearing ya cute clothes and make up. Its a bunch of silly shit.

Learn to control it and I bet you find a better lover. I'm almost sure of it. What you think? Peaaace!

Oh So You Mad? pt. 1

Wrote a note about women who can't cook. A lot missed the key point I was trying to make in the second paragraph and If you missed it, go back and read. It's not just about cooking. Fuck the cooking, a lot of men can cook these days so we don't need you to cook anything. I tried to take it deeper then just the cooking. But since we have SO many women objecting to it and saying things like "My mom tried to teach me, I just didn't care to learn. Does that make me less of a woman? No! I want a man's finances together because mine will be on point." "I'm personally disagree that an ideal women would revolve around cooking." I didn't say that in the post but if that's what she got, okay. And this, my favorite "u said ideally men handle finances & women handle cooking. WELL now its a LOT OF WOMEN who handle the finance so roles r CHANGING. jus sayin back then women had nothing BUT TIME 2learn how 2cook now women r in school, working & all that so yall need 2b PATIENT." Well its funny you guys said that, and I will address all of this. One thing you have to remember is that I am speaking from a mans point of view.

The one that stuck out to me was the last text in bold.The one about a lot of women have their own finances and don't have time to learn and all that. I understand what you saying but it don't make any kind of sense. When you are a child, you learn to wash clothes, clean your room, guys learn to shave, women learn how to handle being on their period, so on and so on. I'm not saying you should learn how to cook NOW, of course you don't have time. You are out partying and going to college, getting in unsuccessful relationships and can't figure out why shit just aint working out. I'm saying you should have learned to cook back when you was in grade, middle and high school, right when you was learning to do laundry. To prepare you for YOUR future. So YOU can feed YOURSELF. It has nothing to do with cooking for a man. So lets talk about the patience part which I found tickling. You want me to be patient so you can learn how to cook when you could have learned how to cook long time ago? I mean you have to eat to live right? You eat everyday. It hasn't dawned on you that you can't cook every time your stomach growl? So instead of learning how to cook which saves you money in the long run you just eat out, buy hot pockets, pizzas, all that. If you got a foreman grill, kudos to you, that's a start.

But why do I have to be patient for you to catch up on something you could have learned growing up? Are you going to be patient with me until I get my funds up? Are you going to be patient with me while I learn how to fuck? Are you going to be patient with me as I learn how to comfort you and make you feel like a lady? Hell naw, you gone leave and be with someone who has all their shit together. Why? Because in your mind you feel like a man should have all that together before you meet him. I personally feel like if you didn't take the time to learn something stuff growing up you wont ever take the time to learn it. Rather it be making friends with people, dating and what it takes to make something work, being social, all that. You just don't learn math, english, science, and social studies in school. You learn how to deal with people, how to problem solve, you learn about yourself, who to associate with and who not to associate with. ALL THAT. I mean, at least I did.

I keep hearing "roles are changing." Okay lets dissect that shall we? I understand that women have since evolved since the 60's and 70's. Women want to have their own money, they want to be more established, okay. I understand and RESPECT that. I want all women to have money and power, that shit turn me on. A chick in a nice car with her own shit.. They get the grade A penis from Dizzy! Don't say roles are changing though because even with that said you still want a man to be just that, a man. Females roles are changing. So what exactly is it that you want from a man? Can any female answer that. What is it that you want from a man? If you bring home your own bacon, if you got your own shit, what is it that you need a man to do these days. I'm not being sexist, I'm saying women should stay at home, I'm simply asking. What do you want the relationship to be like? What is it you want the man to do? I'm asking so I can know for myself for when I decide to get in a relationship.

If you are only going to think about yourself then that's cool. If you are going to date and be with someone then you have to change your thought process and include making someone else happy.

end of part 1.

So you can't cook??

To all the women who can't cook.. HOW DARE YOU!

Every female that I seem to run across can't cook but they hit me with this line "I'm learning though." That's like me saying, "naw, I don't know how to fuck but I'm learning though." Wouldn't that make you frown ya face up? Back in the day, waaaay back waaaaay back, women took care of the home and the man took care of the finances. This is what I heard anyway. Today's woman still want a man to have finances but they don't know how to take care of the home. I just don't understand how a woman can still ask for a man to be a ideal man if they can't be the ideal woman. Sure you can dress and look good, sure you can club and get in for free, sure you can take cute pictures for myspace and twitter but what else can you do? Can you do any tricks? How can you say you looking for a "real man" when you not even a "real woman." It's not just about the cooking so let me back up and clear things up.

When a man is teaching a man how to be a man, its the conversation that a man has with the boy that teaches him. As he cut the grass for money, he schools him the importance working for money is. When he is fixing the car in the garage, he tells him how important it is you learn how to fix things on your own instead of waiting around for someone else. When the mom cleans the house and cook dinner, the dad secretly tells the boy to tell his mom how good the food is and say thank you for everything. It's things like that that a man teaches a boy through conversation as they are growing up. With a woman, if you don't know how to cook, it means certain conversations didn't take place. The things women talk about in the kitchen when men aren't present is very important and you didn't have that. You probably didn't notice your mom cleaning up around the house or how she comforted your dad after a long day at work. Now I might be looking tooo deep into this. I know but I can only go by the things I have witnessed. The girls that do know how to cook often know how to keep a man happy just a little bit more then the ones who can't cook. I know I'm probably pissing a lot of females off right now but I just couldn't take it anymore. You get a man with your looks but you need to learn how to KEEP the man. Same thing goes with a man. We get the woman with looking like we about something. Shooting a little game at her.. But after that, we have to learn how to KEEP the woman.

I know some are thinking, why don't you just learn how to cook so that won't be a problem. Well I do know how to cook so that aint the issue. What man wants to play the role of the woman all the time? What woman will be fine with a man cooking and cleaning in the relationship? What will you do then? Other then have sex that is.. These are real questions! I blame the new generation. Single parents are fucking up the way the world turns. Single parents raises kids who will be single forever! O well. I'm a go cook me some lunch right now and say fuck it. Peaaaaaaaace!

Fucking vs Making Love vs Quickie

Sexual intercourse - heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis.

Fucking, Making love and quickie are not defined in the dictionary so I figured id try and break it down so that it will forever be broke! All the shit the same, there is no difference. It is something that we made up to feel special when we are having sex with someone. Can you make love with someone for 5 minutes or is that a quickie? Can you fuck to slow music, candles and light 4 play? Can you think its making love but the partner think yall just fucking? What kind of connection do you have to have? It's all the same, penetration. I mean don't get me wrong, I know there are differences but why is what I'm asking. I know girls who prefer to be fucked but how do you make 'fucking' feel special? Like if you want it to be right.. Do you light candles, play some sade, get the strawberries and then fuck? Do you make love to cut buddies? {random but a good question}.. WAIT!! Shit just hit me.. When you 'make love' to a woman, is that where she gets her feelings from? Because yall "made" the love? Random, don't mind me.

I honestly don't care what I call it. If Keri Hilson came to me and said "I want a quickie" I'm a make love to that tall heffa for 5 mins. If I don't have shit to do and can have sex, I might go for 30 mins or so.. Play some R-Kelly and light candles so I can see and take my time. Kiss and lick her all over because she looked tasty in her outfit that day and she might label it making love because I took my time.. But.. Does it count that I only took my time because I had nothing else to do? If this girl hit me up that be avoiding me and we have sex.. I might 'Fuck' her for a long ass time.. Change the position about 5 different ones.. Pound her shit out, deep stroke, short stroke, eat the chocha, smack her ass, choke her, etc.. But I'm doing these things with intentions of hurting her because she been avoiding me. That to me is fucking but she might tell her girl friends that we made love because of the shit I did. Idk. I mean, it's all just words to me. It's all sex to me at the end of the day. I feel you should always take yo time and just go all out. Why? Because if you something goes wrong and a baby pops up.. Now you gotta spend 18 plus years raising something that took 3 minutes to make. I feel like some one was getting the short end of sex and started making up terms to justify as to why they were getting what they was getting. Its all a mental thing, just like everything else people gas up. O well.. What you think? Peaaaaace! @EDotDizzy {twitter flow}

Crash site.. Ground zero

Have you ever rode past a crash site on the highway? You try to slow down just a little so you can see if anyone was killed or how bad the cars look. You know that someone is hurt but you don't know how hurt and hope they are alright. You cringe as you pass by it just hoping things are okay.

Meeting a woman who is still recovering from a broken heart feels the same way to me. I walk on egg shells around them because no matter what you say it might remind them of the crash. They often think back on the heartache and just seem so out of it. I have talked to a few females who were heartbroken and still dealing and its not easy hearing them talk about it. I mean, its just like a crash. You don't know what happen, you don't know who fault it is, all you know is that someone is still hurt from it. Specially if you are trying to get at them and didn't know about the crash, its all bad. They ask you about your ex's and you tell them. You ask them about their ex's and they spill their guts on how hurt they really are. No matter how hard they try to mask their emotions, they deal with them everyday. Just like a broken arm, burns, bruises a heart takes time to heal. A heart don't have bandages though, it don't have cream you can put on it and you can't pop any pills to make the pain go away.. The only that can heal it is time. I know a lot of people who have been heartbroken and they act and talk just like someone who was in a real crash. "It was just fine then all of a sudden, it was over" I know this is a unexpected comparison but it makes sense to me. Its just sad because the damage is done and someone is hurt. The crash plays over and over in their head and it sucks. I don't have a moral to this or anything. I was just talking to someone who heart was broken and this crossed my mind. So.. Yeah.. Peaceee! @EDotDizzy (hit me on dat twitter)

How do you let a man know he aint pleasing you? -J.Lavii

So my homie J Lavii asked me how do you tell a man that he isn't pleasing you. How do you tell him without hurting his feelings..

Well it might be more simple then you thought. A lot of people in general know how to please maybe two or three people. You develop a routine, even if you don't realize it. So it's not that he bad in bed, he just use to pleasing someone else and needs to break out of his routine. This is of course only matters if he has a "package." Meaning if he not pleasing you because his dick too small you might have a problem houston. If that isn't the case then you good money and the problem can be fixed.

I once dealt with a female who gave horrible head. Like she was doing it all wrong, too much teeth, not enough spit, grabbing it too hard, everything you can think of was wrong. I wanted to just stop dealing with her all together but I figured if I taught her how to do it properly it will stick with her forever. It took all of three times and a few pornos and we were rocking like cut off stockings. I just lied and said she was good but if she did it like this she would be that much better. I don't know how she took it but she listened and it was nice!

I had a girl friend that I will never forget. Right out of high school I dated a girl who was like 3 or 4 years older then me. I didn't know much about fucking and giving head, I mean I wasn't fucking like that in school. Well this was right when Trey Songz first cd just came out. One day I went down on her and came back up and she was like "What was that boy?" She told me that I was doing it all wrong and needed to learn quickly! I wasn't hurt, my ego wasn't crushed because deep down inside I knew I didn't have that much experience in it. So from "Just gotta make it" to the "Just gotta make it remix" which is the last song, my head was between her legs. She was a great coach. My facial hair was soaked, my wife beater smelled of her and my bed was soaking wet but I learned a lot. I don't fuck with her no more but I still have the skills.

So to you, the best way you can do it without him even noticing is to watch porn with him. All guys watch porn so if he hit you with that line "Naw, I don't watch that shit", he lying. Watch it and ask him, why don't you try that on me or why haven't we did that. Get him in the mode of learning new shit, and this is when you slip in how he can please you. Stroke his ego while teaching him some new tricks. Guys all think they are the best in the bedroom so try not to step on his pride while trying to catch a nut. Sex is easy, sticking the pee pee in the coo coo. Simple. But Good sex requires skill, practice and patience. You have to have all of that with him as you teach him your temple. How to please you. If you try that, if you try and teach him new tricks and he still don't get it right.. You might have to be like "nigga you aint fucking me right and you better get with it before I fuck your home boy who been low key trying to fuck since you introduced us!" Hahaha, that might work! Hope this helps though homie. Peaaaaaace!! Hit me on twitter, @EDotDizzy