Women and Porn..

I was talking to a female and she joked and said I watch too much porn. I asked her did she watch porn at all and she shunned the idea of watching porn. Said it wasn't needed and she thinks people who watch it have some kinda issues. I wanted to throw a tomato at her goofy ass. Honestly I don't watch a lot of porn. I watched a lot of porn when I was younger and stumbled across the tapes in my moms closet, shhhhh. The more and more women I asked about porn, the more and more I started to get concerned. A lot of women look down on porn and those who watch it. Word of advice, that's how you learn new tricks. I say about 80% of the women who give head don't know what they doing and the same goes men who eat pussy. How will you learn if you don't ask, read or watch porn? People are too embarrassed to ask for advice on how to make their sex better. They think they shit already so asking is out of the questions. You niggas don't read unless its gossip, or a text message so reading is out of the question. PORN IT IS!!

Regardless if people want to admit it or not, sex is a HUGE factor in a relationship. If you ain't better then the next you gone be by yourself or be the "best friend". Whack shit. Same goes for women who don't masturbate. THEIR NOT TO BE TRUSTED! A woman that is not fully happy with their body and ain't doing shit about it like working out, eating better, etc is whack. Men know when a woman isn't fully comfortable in her own skin and we don't like it. A girl who puts a man dick in her mouth should at least know what she doing. A woman should know how to use her pussy to the MAX. A man should know how to use his dick and keep his woman on her toes. It just feels better when you know what you doing. Trust..

Porn isn't nasty. Specially if all they doing is fucking. 2 girls and a cup isn't porn. That's just trifling as hell. However, watching 2, 3, 4, 5 people have sex isn't nasty. They even have plots and shit for you movie lovers! Women, pop a porn in with ya dude or a dude you like and see how excited he get. See if ya sex don't start improving DRASTICALLY. Guys if a girl don't watch porn or masturbate.. There is a BIG chance her sex is dull and boring. Ladies, if a guy lie and say he don't watch porn, don't fuck with em because its a big chance he don't know what he doing. He just sticking it in and hoping to hit something. Or licking the hell out of you and annoying you. Not saying Porn is the tell all be all with sex and making ya shit better.. Just saying it would help those who need help. Women stop being so shy and self conscious and just enjoy it for what it is. Stop neglecting ya pussy when you don't have someone to have sex with. You better rub and love that kitty! You'll feel better and ya guy a like having sex with you. I can almost guarantee it. Then again, what do I know, I'm just a guy who talks to alll my guy friends about what they like and don't like then tell yall. GET ON IT!

If you don't watch porn or masturbate.. Why? What keeps you from rubbing yaself when you feel the urge to bust one? I'm really curious. Comment, PLEASE!

Social Net-not-Working

I was giving my lil brother advice on some shit and instructed him to NEVER get comfortable with social networks. I blame social networks such as myspace, facebook, twitter, tagged, etc for most of our social problems we have today. I know its a bit drastic but hey, I feel like its true. Problem number 1 is the lack of confidence people have today I blame on the internet. A guy might not ever speak to a female EVER and he see her everyday but send her a message on facebook confessing his dying love to her. The computer gives people a sense of security and they get too comfortable and it disables them socially. You got grown ass men confessing love over the web like their in high school writing love notes. The pics that people take got them feeling like a model and myspace got EVERY nigga with a mic and a computer feeling like the next Lil Wayne. Back when social networks wasn't so popular, when it was only myspace and blackplanet, you could still bump into someone and have a great conversation. You could call somoene and they answered, not hit ignore and text you right back saying "wassup, you called?" People use to love talking on the phone for hours now you can't stay on the phone for 15 mins with somebody with out something magically popping up.

As the years go by, I believe that more and more people will get acoustomed to sending messages and not actually talking. The last few females I've talked to I NEVER talked to them on the phone. It was weird as hell talking to them on the phone and hearing their voice cause I was so use to texting them. In turn, didn't work. I'm not anti social networks because I still have my myspace, facebook, and twitter I just don't talk to people seriously on them. I told a girl NOT to talk to me on twitter and to text or call me. Thing is... I sent her a text saying that and she replied to me on twitter. *SLAPS FOREHEAD* thats over with. I'm trying my hardest to break away from the social networking and texting. Well not that drastic, just someone that I would want to potentially be serious with. I don't know how yall feel about it but I know that I blame social networking for the lack of communication verbally between people these days. Just my thoughts though. Try NOT texting for a week or deactivating your facebook for a couple weeks. See what happens. Peace.

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Heart left at the scene of the crime...

I never thought that she would cheat on me but then again, you can never put anything past anyone. We was dating for like 8 months and I thought we was good till I walked in on her having sex with some dude in MY bed.. On some Dru Hill shit. She thought I was out of town doing a show but I came back early only to find her not missing me like she said in the text 30 mins ago..

After we fought and I kicked her out, we started talking again and I ended up forgiving her. So I thought.. We didn't start dating again but we was picking up all the pieces. That was two years ago. I thought we was good because I finally decided we could be together again. Not smart.. I know. The thought of how we USE to be and how things USE to be made me want to give it another try. We haven't had sex in my house since before it went down. It was always at her place.. Not on purpose it just ended up like that. She said she wanted to do something sexy for me so I gave her the keys to my spot while I went out of town for a studio session. I didn't know what she had in mind but I said fuck it and gave it a shot.

So I walk in and she got some candles and shit lit. I walk up stairs to find her in the bed with the music and shit playing. Some sexy red shit on, she knew I liked. She was laying on top of the covers just waiting for me. I got instantly horny, just because I know how good she can be when she wants to be. I took my clothes off and got into bed. I laid on my back cause I guess she wanted to be in charge. She started kissing me and rubbing all on me. I don't know if it was the weed I smoked on the way home but when I looked at the doorway I seen ME. Like, I seen me the day I caught her cheating. I closed my eyes, shook my head and the image was gone. So she pulled my dick out and started goin haaaam! I loved it.. Stick with me because this where the weed had me tripping. It turned to an outer body experience and I was standing at the door way and I was watching her do things she does with me to the guy she was fucking when I caught her cheating. All the shit I thought she did only with me, I was watching her do with this other guy she barely knew. I don't know how well she knew him so I take that back. I was watching her have sex with this guy and she did nothing differently with him that she did with me. Sucked his dick the same, scratched his back the same.. Moaned the exact same.. She even called this nigga
daddy the same way.. I got soooo fucking mad and this actually hurt more then walking in on her.. I got up and had her leave. I couldn't do it no more. I suppressed this for 2 years and it finally hit me while in the act. She didn't know what the hell was going on but.. I did.. YA GOTTA GO.. I gotta move on.. PEAAACE!

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Fucking on the job..

We always flirt, ALWAYS.. Since I started working here a year ago, we been flirting. She a say lil slick shit but I never paid it any attention. Since she broke up with her boyfriend two months ago she been a lil more affectionate, if you wanna call grabbing my ass that.. We never exchanged numbers, never talked about meeting up outside of work to kick it, none of that. I mean I just respected the fact she had a man but I gues since they broke up, it was fair game. Both working over night and it was dead as fuck! It was 4 people here including us. Since we both been working here for a minute, we knew where all the blind spots on the floor was, where people never went after a certain time, basically how to get away when on the clock. Whenever we worked together we use to spend our breaks together in the blindspot just talking about whatever. Today I felt was kinda different, she had been flirting with me super hard today and kept giving me that eye. I never actually had sex at my place of work before but I def wasn't scared though, just didn't have the opportunity. Our break was gone be very interesting.

We sat down in the aisle across from one another eating our 5 dollar foot longs we bought before Subway closed. 5 dolla! 5 dolla! 5 dolla foot lonnnng! My bad.. But she was telling me how she hasn't fucked in so long and it was starting to give her headaches. Me being a slick mouth bastard I replied "I got aspirin if you can swallow", after I said I laughed it off but she looked at me like nigga gimmie some. She wrapped her sub up and sat next to me and at this time I kinda wished I didn't say nothing cause if she touch me the right and wrong way, I'm a have to take her down in the cleaning aisle. She sat next to me and started telling me she started playing and whispering fuck me. It seems cheesy but she was fine as hell.. Anyway I took the magnum out my wallet and she unbuttoned her Dickie's. She unbuttoned mine.. WHY!? Well, I'm glad I didn't call in like I planned on doing.

So after we looked around and giggled for the first two minutes.. We started.. I pulled her pants down and off one leg and I did the same for mine and bent her over the febreeze row. I slid inside and she instantly got super wet. I was soo fucking nervous that someone would come in and buy some fucking gilet candles at 3am. I started stroking and digging deep like we was in the comfort of our own home. She was moaning and shit, saying my name. She moaned deeper and harder after I thought I was already going in deep.. I started going ham as "quietly" as possible, seeing how we was still at work. I guess hit the spot cause she started knocking down candles and febreeze bottles. We couldn't help but to giggle and keep going. Fuck trying to speed it up, she was so fucking goooooood. She looked back with the sexy eye and bit her lip. That fucked me up cause I nutted like.. 30 seconds after that. I started to go slower and she started to grind on it more. I hated that we had to stop. We was fucking for what seemed to be forever but was only for like 8 minutes..

Took the condom off and put it in some subway napkins. She pulled up her pants and started singing 5 dolla! 5 dolla! 5 dolla foot lonnnnng! We both laughed it off and put all the candles and frebreeze bottles back on the counter.. I sprayed one though cause it smelt like Badussy! Good badussy though.. I told her we had to finish it and she said yeah I know. "Your coming home with me once we clock out so don't be holla'n you tired." I instantly woke up! Threw the condom away, clocked back in and acted like nothing happen when the manager asked "Where the hell you been? Tuck ya damn shirt in!" I complied and went bout my way, anticipating getting off work.. BOW!! I love it!!

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Yall better comment too!

Fuckery.. Confused women at its best!

A big ass question mark sits on top of my head when talking to some women. Today someone said that women are smarter then men for the simple fact they stay two steps ahead of them. Yet women always seem to be getting played and hurt and all this. If you was two steps ahead of the game you would have left or shitted on him before he had the chance. I guess women are two steps ahead of men only when emotions aren't involved. That makes me soo mad because it seem like women get "stupid" once love gets involved or they link love is involved. You got the girl who fall in love and then allow her bf to hit her or verbally abuse her but accepts it because "he loves her". Allows herself to get lied to, cheated on, etc because "he loves her". Not all women do that because not all guys are like that. That makes me upset.

I've ran into a lot of women who say "I'm a start fucking with females because niggas aint shit." That's the dumbest shit i've ever heard. What happens if you date a female and she cheats on you and shit just like a man does? Fyi, women are scandolous as well. If you think every female is single because of lying and cheating men then you're wrong. It's some dog dirty women out there. I've ran into them! I've never heard a guy say "man these bitches keep using me for my money and playing with my emotions so I'm a start fucking with niggas." That just aint right. In my mind something clicks that screams warning. You want attention soo bad you would date the same sex? Is it that bad? Really? I didn't know the dating scene was like that!

This is news for women. A lil scret from DizZy.. A nigga only act stupid when you let him, a nigga only treat you like shit when allow him to treat you like shit. Women are soo tough when we meet them. They act all hard and all aware of what they think we want. Dick em down a few good times, look in their eyes all passionately and that shit go completely out the window. I don't know if its in all women but some of the women I've met do that. Its like women do anything for love. ANYTHING.. Lower their standards, get cheated on, get beat on and now DATE WOMEN.

Men lie yes.. but PEOPLE lie as a whole. It's not just a trait that only men have. I don't know why women think that. Its some dirt ball women out there, a lot of em. Idk. I just get mad when women make it seem like their the only ones that get hurt in this dating "game". Everyone gets hurt and thats why it sucks. Thats why it feels sooo good when you find someone who finally get you and respect you. If everyone was just so honest and open we would all be dating and all be happy and married but it don't work out that way! Some of you need to learn how to be happy alone before you try and get with a guy. He can't know and love you if you don't know and love yourself. If you haven't always been gay, don't start being gay to find love. Peace.

Fuk this dating game bs

Heads up, I'm the jerk.

Stop with this whole dating game bullshit! If you like someone, tell them and if someone tells you they like you tell them the truth! Its on them to accept it or not. We waste soo much time wondering if this person likes us, cutting off everyone else who really does like you. Speak your damn mind! Being timid and shy gets you over looked.

If their is no connection, move the fuck on! No matter how many times you have sex with someone, the connection will not just appear. Stop wishful dating. Stop wishing that somethin will spark and make the sparks yaself. Back in the day we had the notes. Do you like me, circle yes or no. No maybes, idk, were too good of friends. None of that bull. Yes or no ma fucka, answer it so I can act accordingly. Do I stick around or get the hell on! If someone don't know if they wanna be with u or not... Move the fuck on.

Don't put your heart at risk over someone elses confusion. Dating isn't a video game. Just be honest people and accept shit for what they are and not what you want them to be. Damn! Now let's lower the divorce rate! haha.

shouts to Emcee for making me write this. haha

WWW.TWITTER.COM\EDOTDIZZY

Myspace? wow!

So I'm looking at folks pages and I'm really impressed at how bad people try to appear as if their famous! I figured it out.. If a female has over 3,000 friends she think she a celeb and wants to be a model. With that said, she goes in the bathroom and take 100 pictures of her good side cause lord knows she doesn't have two good sides. Don't forget that the pics are from the neck up cause lowkey her body blaaah. Yall know what I'm talking about.

Then you got the dudes with half naked pics squinting his eyes... Got the 3rd person bio on his page when we all know his goofy as wrote it himself. Come on, fa real though? Or the myspace thugs who make videos holding guns and flashing money... Real G's don't do that bruh, word of advice. Yall be the first to claim someone snitching wheb clearly you're broadcasting yall nickles and dimes on cam... Dumb ass!!!!

Ladies, specially black women.. Their is no such thing as a rich model with a big ass and big titties. Victoria Secret has yet signed a thick model.. That's a one way streak to videos, bet movies and porn. Not being rude, just saying. That's why men look at yall the way they do because its like you're doing it just to entertain and tease them. Take the twerk team on youtube. They aint that good looking and when I see em I just wanna fuck. I don't want nothing else. Thick ass half naked chicks on myspace, I just want to fuck. nothing else. Women, ur doing the shit to yourself. Yeah guys only want to fuck because your always half dressed. It aint pocket science people!!

Every guy with a myspace music page will not be signed or even noticed. It takes more then a myspace page to get "on". Let's go people! Just cause you have 30,000 friends on myspace.. You're not cool in real life! I know I was being a jerk but its true. I love all my myspace friends even if they hate me haha!! Let's go people!!

www.twitter.com\edotdizzy

What is "Good Parenting"

I've always wondered what certain parents do and certain don't do to have their kids turn out "bad." I'm scared of that the most with having kids, being a bad parent. I just know some people who kids are HORRIBLE! I hate the fact that as soon as people have kids they get stupid. Letting their kids curse, talk back, fight all that other shit... With no ass beating! I feel personally that if you make mistakes in life growing up and allow your kids to make the same mistakes then you fucked up as a parent. I know some folks who have dropped out of school and lived life struggling and then allowed their kids to drop out of high school and go through the same exact struggle. What is the sense of being a parent? When you raise your kids, what is your mission?


Some parents say "I love my kids soo much. They mean the world to me" but don't take the proper steps in making sure they have a good future. Not warning them about the hardships, informing them on their options as far as college and all that.. Idk, I just hear parents saying they don't know how to talk to their kids about sex, drugs and other things but if you don't talk about it.. THEY WILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT!

Apples don't fall to far from the tree but what if the tree rotten? I know some kids who are mirror images of their parents or one of their parents. Then I know kids who are exact opposites. Some kids look at their parents and say I don't want to be that and some kids look at their parents and see that as they only way they can be. Some kids are not informed about options and even if they are some kids don't care because they never see it. Kind of hard to tell a kid that the world can be yours when his or her whole family live check to check and never actually see someone successful. That's just my opinion. Question of the day is what are you going to do different with raising YOUR kids? I can't speak to much on this because I don't want any angry comments lol.

What is a fucking Recession?

I know I'm late fuck it, o well. The word recession means a period of reduced economic activity. That's what it says in webster. Well I was watching South Park and the shit made soo much sense but kinda pissed me off. I don't like to read about shit in the government because its always from someone elses point of view, never what it really is. This is my take on the whole recession situation. BULLSHIT!



So basically people are scared to spend money because they don't know if they will get more of it. Jobs are firing people because people aren't spending money like they use to. So basically if people spend money, the jobs will hire people again and the recession will be over some what. I thought that the recession was something more but it really aint. I know a few folks who were fired from their jobs and I thought it was because of the recession. One got fired from walmart, not because of the recession but because he was late all the fucking time. One got fired from sprint because the person was always into it with the manager. One got fired because they failed a background check.. My uncle was fired from GM though. That was pretty fucked up.

My friends who have always been broke.. Are still broke. The folks I know that has always had a job.. Still have that job. They been making the same amount of money for a minute but all of a sudden they say their broke because its a recession. I think that we need to get out of that "its hard out here" mentality because the change always start with US. Shit will only get better if we make it better. Obama can't fix attitudes from the white house..

This is all from my point of view though. Don't want angry comments saying its more to it then what I explained. You know how yall do.

Weed vS Alcohol.. Winner is.. WEED!

So I was up at like 4 a.m. and knew I should have went to sleep instead of flipping through the channels because it always bug me out. You got the infomercials selling knives, the billion church joints.. Sidebar, what the hell is up with that white man as the preacher with the whole damn stadium full of people? Do they pass around the collection plate even when its thousands of people in attendance? Anyway..

I see the new commercial where they in the taxis singing biz markie just a friend.. Drink responsibly is the slogan.. They don't mention how many accidents people die in because of drunk drivers naw, they singing in the car, having fun being drunk. Then I see the commercial where the kid is at a party and walks to the back room and his conscious talks to him about the good and bad about smoking weed. His dad on one shoulder saying is it worth making mom cry, basketball team saying is it worth it, a pizza guy saying it didn't effect me and so on.. Then I got mad because.. YES, I SMOKE WEED.. Well from time to time.. The most weed has ever done is made me hella hungry and hella sleepy which isn't bad. It didn't effect me graduating high school or college, my mom still loves me, and a pizza guy during this fucking recession would be a blessing!

Alcohol is waaay worse in soo many ways. I don't need to elaborate how I think drinking is worse then smoking weed. I just like how the government portrays it as "the gateway drug." My aunt has been smoking for like 25 years and didn't get into anything else. My Grandfather was drinking for 25+ years and died from cancer in his liver. I understand that they aren't making money from weed but please don't portray Alcohol as the accepted substance abuse. Get drunk, that's cool just get a tax and you'll be fine.. If you get high, you will drop out of high school, become a pizza guy and never amount to anything.. WTF? The way the world works is fucking amazing.

If they legalized weed do you think the commercials would change? Hell yeah lol! I'm not saying everyone should just smoke weed.. Just don't believe the hype with these commercials..

Losing My Virginity.. (Not a poem, just written funny)

A lot of folks ask for was certain stories true so I decided to tell
about losing my virginity...

So I'm in California for the summer with my dad. He stayed on a military
base which was a new environment for me but I took it in and loved it.
My dad and step mom worked during the day and to prevent me from being
bored they told me I should hang out at the Youth Center (YMCA). Once
there, I finally get accepted into the in crowd. The new kid always gets
attention at first and I caught the attention of Myca (my-ka). She
wasn't the cutest thing in the crowd but she was one of the coolest
females I've ever met.

Like 2 weeks passed and it was filled with kicking it with military
brats and enjoying the weather. One day they YC (youth center) had a
party. Everyone was there including Myca.. She was looking cuter then
she usually do so I gravitated towards her for some odd reason. I went
to use the bathroom and seen her kinda sad. I asked what was wrong and
she said her ex was there with his new girl. So I talked to her and
lifted her spirits and she then wanted to leave.. So I walked her home.
We walk to a house and I thought it was hers. She opened the door and
hugged me good night. She then raised her skirt and asked me did I like
her new panties. They were playboy bunny panties.. A thong. I said yeah!
The way she looked at me screamed FUCK ME! So I kissed her neck and she
pulled me closer and I started fingering her... It was on and cracking!

We went inside the house because me fingering her on the porch wasn't
the smartest thing considering were on a military base with nosey
neighbors. So she throws me on the love seat and starts dancing for me.
LOVED IT! I take out the trojan that I stole from my dads bathroom
droor. She pulled my pants down and put my dik in her mouth. Mind you,
im basically a virgin lol. She was sucking my dik like a pro and I loved
it. She made me cum, swallowed it, and kept going. I was still taken
back by this and excited so keeping me hard wasn't a issue. She put the
stolen Trojan on and sat on it. She was riding me and it was lovely! She
got up and laid on the floor and I got on top of her and went to stroke
town.. I came, I saw and I caame!

I get up, go to the bathroom and all that. Come out and see a pic of 2
white people and ask her who they were. Come to find out it wasn't her
house, she lived a couple houses down. She was dog sitting while they
were out of town which blew me cause she laughed after she said it.
Ironically she lived right up the street. Right next door to my dads
best friend.. So I walk in the house smelling like Badussy.. Guess who
sitting on the steps. MY DAD.. He asked me where I been and all that
shit and why was I smiling so hard. I told em out stealing from stores
or some slick shit. I ran up the steps but I know he smelled sex on me.
Once I got upstairs I realized that she was on some expert type shit. I
was only going to be a freshman and she was going to be a sophomore..
She was experienced.. If you like that, wait till I post about our last
time before I left home. Owwwwwww
*DizZy*

Married? I think not. Fuck was you thinking?

All this is from my point of view and I really want to know women.. If you don't: Like having sex, enjoy giving head, hold good conversations, know how to cook, know how to be supportive.. How do you plan on getting married and KEEPING your man happy? This is a real question that I want answers too!

Seems like a lot of women fell off on their wife game for my generation at least. This is coming from a man who wants to be married and have kids. I'm not just being a jerk right now. Ill save that for a later post. But I'm serious. When a man cheats its usually because he isn't getting what he wants out of the relationship. Save all the marriage isnt based off that comments because its bullshit.

If a woman likes a man but he can't fuck and or his dick is small she won't fall in love with him. If he can't hold a good conversation then you shouldn't fall in love with him and if he don't support you with what you doing then why you love him? Stop thinking with your hearts for a second and think with ya brain. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who couldn't fuck you like you want, support you like he should, or make you feel all googly inside? Lets be honest! FEEDBACK PLEASE!

p.s. peep the new blog. www.frustrationsofanartist.blogspot.com
www.twitter.com/edotdizzy

Funny Funny.. You Made it

So I was talking to a female friend of mine like a week ago or so. I wanted to kick it with her and just chill. I don't know where her mind was but thats neither here or there. She came at me sideways and was like "I don't wanna kick it because I don't want to be the subject of one of your freaky blogs." It was funny because she was dead ass serious. I thought to myself, what in the hell makes you think your sex would be good enough to post about? I don't even post sex shit no more nor do I exploit women, wtf? I didn't even want to have sex, that's the funny part! Well congrats hun, you have been deleted out the phone and you made the blog. Congratulations!!! Stupid ass..

Getting the hint.. Need opinions.

Never been a big fan of "dating" for the simple fact it requires you to make yourself vulnerable to another person. Putting my heart in someone else hands never really sat well with me. Seems like the person you want to be with the most is the person giving you the most bullshit. I just have trust issues. People lie or they withhold information from you which is a form of lying in my opinion. If you aren't honest 100% then you really can't expect someone to be 100% with you. Just is what it is. I haven't dated in a long time so maybe I just expect shit to be easier then it really is. So can someone tell me who dates when do you decide if your wasting your time or not? When do you finally say, wait, I'm making a fool out of myself?

One thing that I see happening is that people EXPECT the other person to just know how they feel but they never say it. For example, 2 people been kicking it for a minute and the girl wants things to go to the next level but never says anything. Never voices her feelings to the guy so she in turn thinks the guy is bullshitting when he doesn't make it official. We not talking about that. We're talking about someone clearly voicing their feelings to the other person and getting no kind of response. It sucks from a guys stand point because when a guy likes a woman, he likes her. He stops talking to other females like that. Which is the hardest part of it all. Leaving behind other females for another female.. Trust me I know.

On the outside looking in, you can always tell if someone else is being played or strung along but from the inside looking out, it ain't that clear. I'm starting to think that the whole putting your trust into someone shit is over rated. Why can't people be honest and why can't people accept the truth? Just tell the person if you don't fuck with em like that.

My question still remains, when do you finally get the hint that you should just move the hell on? Comment and let me know.

Venting.

I normally try to keep my personal life to myself. I don't like venting because it seems like no one has answers but I'm a just post some of my thoughts and see what y'all think. Idk. If you relate.. Comment...

Sometimes I wake up feeling okay then sometimes I wake up like what the fuck is the plan today? Filling out billions of applications and submitting this saaame fucking resume only to hear "we will be in touch." No the fuck you won't, who you think you fooling with that line? Then I got my music and I know I'm hot and I know I have what it takes to "make it" but in the back of my mind I know that shit ain't promised. So many fucking folks who produce, rap, sing, blah blah blah.. When do I stop "dreaming" and face reality that it just might not happen. Every time I put my head down in my hands from frustration, I see the stop sign on my forearm that reads "Never Stop Dreamin."

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a grown up. I wish my mom slapped me every time I said that. No one told me that life was fucked up lol. No one warned me of all the problems and worries that comes along with being an "adult." Shit slowly but surely caught up to my ass and hit me like a fucking freight train and I was looking around like daaamn, why wasn't I warned about this? I seen my mom stressed and depressed at times growing up but she never told me what was wrong.. She made things work for the better and that's what lets me know that I'll be aight if I just work hard at it but.. Damn, I would have liked a warning that life is a bitch! I heard that growing up but shit, I didn't give a fuck cause I ain't know what they meant. The only time life was a bitch for me growing up was when I couldn't go outside and play with my friends.

Life always throw certain shit at you just to see how you handle it and if it breaks you, it breaks you.. If it makes you stronger then you get stronger.. My only problem is, I always think about why shit happened the way it did rather I'm stronger or weaker. That's one of my faults but no matter how much i try to change it.. I think about it. I want nothing but to live comfortably with a woman who can keep me smiling. I want to write and make music that uplift spirits and to let them know simply, you aren't alone. I don't need the gliss and glamour, I never been a show off mainly because I never had shit so I know how to appreciate shit that I do get. I learned that some moves I make will not be liked by certain people and that's only acceptable because, hell, that's life. People won't always like the things you do but if it makes sense at the end of the day, they will respect you for it. If not you can't do nothing but keep it moving.

I'm not going crazy, my mind just racing. Its more venting just didn't want yall to think I'm on some other shit. But yall feel where I'm coming from though? Aw fuck it. Niggas never want to admit that life ain't going the way they want.. I've realized that haha. O wells. I'm alone with this one. Peaace!

Last Time.. Sucks soo good

Walking to the mailbox at 8:49 p.m. Just got off work and kinda tired but gotta stay up and promote online. In walks "her".. My ex, we dated a lil while ago. What's crazy is, I just was thinking about her at work today. We been split up for a little over a year now. Haven't seen her in forever and she was looking good as hell! She looked up as she walked in and caught me staring and she smiled "Hey DizZy".. I almost melted but I had to keep it cool, "Wassup lil lady". Gave her a hug and she smelled exactly the same. All the memories came rushing back to me almost instantly. She hugged me and grabbed me a lil tighter then she use to and I grabbed her tight as well. So as we sized one another up since we haven't seen one another in soo long, I seen that she had a ring on her finger. My fucking heart sunk to my stomach. I asked her was she married now and she grabbed her hand and was like "Um, not yet".. She had this look she gave me when she was "hungry" and she just gave it to me. I had to be cool because I didn't know if she still moved the same. Asked her what she was doing in my neck of the woods seeing how she lives about 45 mins west of here. "I'm here to see my girl friend, she just moved upstairs a month ago and she wanted me to come see her spot.. So.. Here I am. What you doing though Mr. Dizzy, what you cook cause I'm hungry?" She then grabbed my keys and started walking to my apartment. I was a little lost so I watched her walk to my door, and walk in. Her ass has gotten soooo fat! But I gotta keep it cool.

I walk in and she in my kitchen heating up some left overs. I was kinda mad because I had my mind set on eating that! "So how you been E? Seem like you kinda forgot about me. You never hit me up with a text, myspace message, facebook message or nothing. That's kinda fucked up.." She was smashing my food sitting on the counter looking up at me as if she wanted me to speak. Truth be told, I didn't have anything to say. She was right! We got into a heated argument and once she said we needed space, I went and got my space. "You never hit me up either so don't point fingers if you don't want any pointed at you. We aint perfect so don't talk like you perfect!" She replied "Fuck you DizZy, give me some juice before I die on this dry ass chicken you made." I smiled because I missed her fussing at me. I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle water and gave it to her. When she grabbed for it, I no longer seen her ring. I didn't question it at all, nor did I question when she was going to leave, I'm kinda glad she "popped up."

She gets done and sit on the couch and turn on the tv. I stink from being at work all day so I tell her make herself at home, as if she already hasn't and I'll be in the shower. Back when we was dating, she would occasionally wait like 5 mins and jump in the shower with me. I was hoping shit didn't change so I left the door unlocked and waited.. I had to have waited like 10 mins before I got it in my mind she wasn't coming. I started to wash my face when she enters the shower with this expression on her face like "I missed you." So I looked her in her eyes and told her I missed you too..

She grabbed my dick and looked at it for a second.. Turned my back to the shower head so she wouldn't get drenched, got down on her knees and sucked me slow. She then got super aggressive and sucked it harder and nastier then she has ever before. Caught me off guard but I loved it. I didn't want to nut so I forced her to get up and put on leg on the tub edge and I got down and ate dinner! She grabbed my head and moaned as I licked her pearl, sucked her pearl and stuck my tongue inside her. She started to shake just like old times and that's when I knew I was doing it right. She kept my head down there so I kept my face between her legs. She tasted so sweet.. As I tasted her, all the memories of us came rushing back and I started to feel stupid as fuck for ever letting her go. I got up and turned the water off. She stumbled into my bed room wearing a dry towel.. I walked in right behind her and she was laying on my bed, waiting. I climbed on top of her, kissed her then slid in. She grabbed my back with them damn nails but it felt so good. She gasped as if she has been holding her breath for minutes.. I took my time because I didn't know if I would have another chance with her again. It seem like we was going in slow motion and I was loving every bit of it. She pushed me off of her, turned over on all fours and I slid in again and banged it out! Grabbed her hair and smacked her ass just like she liked it. How do I know she liked it? BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME! I then turned her on her side and put it on her. She was making all types of faces and making all types of noises. I was just focusing on not nutting, it was too damn good. She screamed "I'm cumming daddy" and that's when I lost it.. I came too.

I laid on my back, condom still on and everything. She laid on my chest and I dozed off. When I woke up she was in the bathroom fixing herself. I walked in the door way as she just stared herself in the mirror fixing lip gloss and all that good stuff. I looked at her hand and the ring was back on her finger. She looked at me with a look of, sadness. Its like we said soo much just then but no one said anything. I knew that she was getting married, I'm no dummy. Well I am for letting her go because I know she probably waited for me to come around after we had our space and I didn't come back. Some guy came along and filled my space and didn't waste time on making her his. "Dizzy, this was fun. I missed you, I hate you yet I love you more then anything. You just never came back and I had to move on." Kissed me on the cheek, told me she loved me and left. I didn't chase after her because I knew I was too late. My heart sunk to my stomach again because it hurt. So much that I damn ner cried... I guess from here on out, if I have something worth keeping.. KEEP IT! Damn.

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Just a little fyi

These blogs are something I decided to do to connect to more people. I didn't know that soo many people would be drawn to my blog and literally begging me to write daily for their "fix"! I'm writing this to say thank you for reading!! Thank you for telling all of your friends about it. It means a lot to me and I don't take any of it to the head! Whenever someone hit me up and say they like my blog it makes my day. My only thing is, if I make music, its just the music version of my blog. A lot of the folks who read my blog haven't downloaded the mixtape and -I'm curious to know why. Leave a comment and tell me why because I'm curious..

Um. Also, I'm working on DizZyaNa pt. 2 right now and this one will have hooks on it and I will release it once I get to 600 downloads and I need about 80 more downloads. This mixtape means a lot to me that's why im pushing it so hard. I appreciate all the folks who reviewed the mixtape on their blog, that shit helped a lot!! I love it!!! I need the same love for the second one!

I work my ass off! I grind hard with this blog, music, networking, all dat good shit. I'm not a Hollywood kat, I don't take shit to the head. Seem like after awhile folks stopped commenting the blogs, hitting me up on aim and myspace. Lol, is it because I don't write about sex anymore? Daaaamn lol! That's fucked up haha!! Continue showing me love, I need that. I also know that some folks don't comment because they feel I get enough comments already... WHACK! Everyone says that and it leaves me with no comments or messages! I write for YOU so if YOU don't let me know you reading, I feel like YOU aren't reading but hey, its all good. I love the love you guys show me! I'm a keep doing what I'm doing! Show ya boy some love. -dizzy

P.s. I wrote this from my sidekick so it might be all jumbled up and all over the place!

Bitter Sweet Memory..

So we stopped talking, BEEEN stopped talking, maybe 2 years ago.. We haven't even spoke to one another. We both stubborn so when we fell apart I knew it was over even though I never wanted it to be fully over. We didn't even date, it was more like a silent agreement that I was yo nigga and you was my lil lady. I don't even know what happened but we gradually stopped talking. Well I deleted you from everything just so I wouldn't be tempted to hit you up or see you posting new pics on facebook with ya new boy friend. I didn't want to miss you basically..

Here we are two years later.. Haven't heard from you, haven't seen pics of you but sometimes thought about what if. What if we never stopped talking? Well I remember you use to come over with no pj's and when I wasn't looking, you would take a pair of my boxers and put them on and bundle under the covers so I wouldn't notice. Petty but cute, I always thought it was funny. After awhile, you wore the same ones over and over. After we stopped talking, subconsciously, I never wore them. They became the "laundry boxers". The ones I wore when I didn't have any more. One day, my new girl came over and ended up staying late. She didn't have any pj's so while I was in the kitchen cooking, she took a pair of my boxers, got in the shower, got out and got bundled up under the covers. I told her the food was done and she popped from under the covers wearing the same ones you use to wear... Right then I started missing you like fucking crazy and I just smiled. It was just random and odd to me that out of all the boxers, she picked yours and did the same thing you did. I guess I can't forget about you no matter what.. It's all good, I needed that smile. -DizZy

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The Catch.. Dumb ass!

I just got in a heated argument just now with a friend over some bs! She was telling me I was scared of commitment because my longest relationship wasn't actually long at all it was 3 or 4 months, I think. I don't really remember. I haven't been in a relationship in almost three years. Damn, that's long! Her longest relationship was 4 or 5 years and she loovvvvved this guy to death. She thought they would be together for ever, hell I did too low key. Well long story short, they broke up and she is single again. =D

This is where the argument starts! She saying that I'm scared of commitment which is not the case because I commit to a lot of stuff. I can't think of any right now but, I do! LMAO!! I just have a low tolerance for bullshit, very low tolerance. Her and her ex has been dating for bout five years but was more off then on for the last two years of the relationship. She has come to me for more advice then I feel one should and still consider the relationship to be "healthy". So in the past 5 years I have dated maybe 5 girls to her 1 guy but at the end of it all.. WE BOTH STILL SINGLE!!

People, stop holding onto your past relationships as a trophy or something because you only look foolish. Yeah you have had a long relationship but your still single at the end of the day. If it appears that I'm scared of commitment, I look at it as your scared of being alone. Take it how you want haha but that's how I feel. How you like them apples!! What yall think though?

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Too Many fucking options!?

I just realized that most of my friends are single and HATE it! But I also realized that people are single because they have too many options! Bare with me now, don't get mad. If a girl has guys coming at her allllll day every day, she loves being single because she knows that at any point she can get almost any man she want. If she don't have options though, she hates being single. Guys with options I don't really know. I think a guy with NO options stay single because they feel like one day they will have options and don't want to fuck it up. A guy with a slew of women seem to be wifed up and it only draws him more attention from women. Its funny to me how it works but it just seem to be like that. Where do you fit? Why is everyone single though? I find it hard to believe that everyone on some other shit. Who knowz!?

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