Venting.

I normally try to keep my personal life to myself. I don't like venting because it seems like no one has answers but I'm a just post some of my thoughts and see what y'all think. Idk. If you relate.. Comment...

Sometimes I wake up feeling okay then sometimes I wake up like what the fuck is the plan today? Filling out billions of applications and submitting this saaame fucking resume only to hear "we will be in touch." No the fuck you won't, who you think you fooling with that line? Then I got my music and I know I'm hot and I know I have what it takes to "make it" but in the back of my mind I know that shit ain't promised. So many fucking folks who produce, rap, sing, blah blah blah.. When do I stop "dreaming" and face reality that it just might not happen. Every time I put my head down in my hands from frustration, I see the stop sign on my forearm that reads "Never Stop Dreamin."

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a grown up. I wish my mom slapped me every time I said that. No one told me that life was fucked up lol. No one warned me of all the problems and worries that comes along with being an "adult." Shit slowly but surely caught up to my ass and hit me like a fucking freight train and I was looking around like daaamn, why wasn't I warned about this? I seen my mom stressed and depressed at times growing up but she never told me what was wrong.. She made things work for the better and that's what lets me know that I'll be aight if I just work hard at it but.. Damn, I would have liked a warning that life is a bitch! I heard that growing up but shit, I didn't give a fuck cause I ain't know what they meant. The only time life was a bitch for me growing up was when I couldn't go outside and play with my friends.

Life always throw certain shit at you just to see how you handle it and if it breaks you, it breaks you.. If it makes you stronger then you get stronger.. My only problem is, I always think about why shit happened the way it did rather I'm stronger or weaker. That's one of my faults but no matter how much i try to change it.. I think about it. I want nothing but to live comfortably with a woman who can keep me smiling. I want to write and make music that uplift spirits and to let them know simply, you aren't alone. I don't need the gliss and glamour, I never been a show off mainly because I never had shit so I know how to appreciate shit that I do get. I learned that some moves I make will not be liked by certain people and that's only acceptable because, hell, that's life. People won't always like the things you do but if it makes sense at the end of the day, they will respect you for it. If not you can't do nothing but keep it moving.

I'm not going crazy, my mind just racing. Its more venting just didn't want yall to think I'm on some other shit. But yall feel where I'm coming from though? Aw fuck it. Niggas never want to admit that life ain't going the way they want.. I've realized that haha. O wells. I'm alone with this one. Peaace!

Last Time.. Sucks soo good

Walking to the mailbox at 8:49 p.m. Just got off work and kinda tired but gotta stay up and promote online. In walks "her".. My ex, we dated a lil while ago. What's crazy is, I just was thinking about her at work today. We been split up for a little over a year now. Haven't seen her in forever and she was looking good as hell! She looked up as she walked in and caught me staring and she smiled "Hey DizZy".. I almost melted but I had to keep it cool, "Wassup lil lady". Gave her a hug and she smelled exactly the same. All the memories came rushing back to me almost instantly. She hugged me and grabbed me a lil tighter then she use to and I grabbed her tight as well. So as we sized one another up since we haven't seen one another in soo long, I seen that she had a ring on her finger. My fucking heart sunk to my stomach. I asked her was she married now and she grabbed her hand and was like "Um, not yet".. She had this look she gave me when she was "hungry" and she just gave it to me. I had to be cool because I didn't know if she still moved the same. Asked her what she was doing in my neck of the woods seeing how she lives about 45 mins west of here. "I'm here to see my girl friend, she just moved upstairs a month ago and she wanted me to come see her spot.. So.. Here I am. What you doing though Mr. Dizzy, what you cook cause I'm hungry?" She then grabbed my keys and started walking to my apartment. I was a little lost so I watched her walk to my door, and walk in. Her ass has gotten soooo fat! But I gotta keep it cool.

I walk in and she in my kitchen heating up some left overs. I was kinda mad because I had my mind set on eating that! "So how you been E? Seem like you kinda forgot about me. You never hit me up with a text, myspace message, facebook message or nothing. That's kinda fucked up.." She was smashing my food sitting on the counter looking up at me as if she wanted me to speak. Truth be told, I didn't have anything to say. She was right! We got into a heated argument and once she said we needed space, I went and got my space. "You never hit me up either so don't point fingers if you don't want any pointed at you. We aint perfect so don't talk like you perfect!" She replied "Fuck you DizZy, give me some juice before I die on this dry ass chicken you made." I smiled because I missed her fussing at me. I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle water and gave it to her. When she grabbed for it, I no longer seen her ring. I didn't question it at all, nor did I question when she was going to leave, I'm kinda glad she "popped up."

She gets done and sit on the couch and turn on the tv. I stink from being at work all day so I tell her make herself at home, as if she already hasn't and I'll be in the shower. Back when we was dating, she would occasionally wait like 5 mins and jump in the shower with me. I was hoping shit didn't change so I left the door unlocked and waited.. I had to have waited like 10 mins before I got it in my mind she wasn't coming. I started to wash my face when she enters the shower with this expression on her face like "I missed you." So I looked her in her eyes and told her I missed you too..

She grabbed my dick and looked at it for a second.. Turned my back to the shower head so she wouldn't get drenched, got down on her knees and sucked me slow. She then got super aggressive and sucked it harder and nastier then she has ever before. Caught me off guard but I loved it. I didn't want to nut so I forced her to get up and put on leg on the tub edge and I got down and ate dinner! She grabbed my head and moaned as I licked her pearl, sucked her pearl and stuck my tongue inside her. She started to shake just like old times and that's when I knew I was doing it right. She kept my head down there so I kept my face between her legs. She tasted so sweet.. As I tasted her, all the memories of us came rushing back and I started to feel stupid as fuck for ever letting her go. I got up and turned the water off. She stumbled into my bed room wearing a dry towel.. I walked in right behind her and she was laying on my bed, waiting. I climbed on top of her, kissed her then slid in. She grabbed my back with them damn nails but it felt so good. She gasped as if she has been holding her breath for minutes.. I took my time because I didn't know if I would have another chance with her again. It seem like we was going in slow motion and I was loving every bit of it. She pushed me off of her, turned over on all fours and I slid in again and banged it out! Grabbed her hair and smacked her ass just like she liked it. How do I know she liked it? BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME! I then turned her on her side and put it on her. She was making all types of faces and making all types of noises. I was just focusing on not nutting, it was too damn good. She screamed "I'm cumming daddy" and that's when I lost it.. I came too.

I laid on my back, condom still on and everything. She laid on my chest and I dozed off. When I woke up she was in the bathroom fixing herself. I walked in the door way as she just stared herself in the mirror fixing lip gloss and all that good stuff. I looked at her hand and the ring was back on her finger. She looked at me with a look of, sadness. Its like we said soo much just then but no one said anything. I knew that she was getting married, I'm no dummy. Well I am for letting her go because I know she probably waited for me to come around after we had our space and I didn't come back. Some guy came along and filled my space and didn't waste time on making her his. "Dizzy, this was fun. I missed you, I hate you yet I love you more then anything. You just never came back and I had to move on." Kissed me on the cheek, told me she loved me and left. I didn't chase after her because I knew I was too late. My heart sunk to my stomach again because it hurt. So much that I damn ner cried... I guess from here on out, if I have something worth keeping.. KEEP IT! Damn.

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Just a little fyi

These blogs are something I decided to do to connect to more people. I didn't know that soo many people would be drawn to my blog and literally begging me to write daily for their "fix"! I'm writing this to say thank you for reading!! Thank you for telling all of your friends about it. It means a lot to me and I don't take any of it to the head! Whenever someone hit me up and say they like my blog it makes my day. My only thing is, if I make music, its just the music version of my blog. A lot of the folks who read my blog haven't downloaded the mixtape and -I'm curious to know why. Leave a comment and tell me why because I'm curious..

Um. Also, I'm working on DizZyaNa pt. 2 right now and this one will have hooks on it and I will release it once I get to 600 downloads and I need about 80 more downloads. This mixtape means a lot to me that's why im pushing it so hard. I appreciate all the folks who reviewed the mixtape on their blog, that shit helped a lot!! I love it!!! I need the same love for the second one!

I work my ass off! I grind hard with this blog, music, networking, all dat good shit. I'm not a Hollywood kat, I don't take shit to the head. Seem like after awhile folks stopped commenting the blogs, hitting me up on aim and myspace. Lol, is it because I don't write about sex anymore? Daaaamn lol! That's fucked up haha!! Continue showing me love, I need that. I also know that some folks don't comment because they feel I get enough comments already... WHACK! Everyone says that and it leaves me with no comments or messages! I write for YOU so if YOU don't let me know you reading, I feel like YOU aren't reading but hey, its all good. I love the love you guys show me! I'm a keep doing what I'm doing! Show ya boy some love. -dizzy

P.s. I wrote this from my sidekick so it might be all jumbled up and all over the place!

Bitter Sweet Memory..

So we stopped talking, BEEEN stopped talking, maybe 2 years ago.. We haven't even spoke to one another. We both stubborn so when we fell apart I knew it was over even though I never wanted it to be fully over. We didn't even date, it was more like a silent agreement that I was yo nigga and you was my lil lady. I don't even know what happened but we gradually stopped talking. Well I deleted you from everything just so I wouldn't be tempted to hit you up or see you posting new pics on facebook with ya new boy friend. I didn't want to miss you basically..

Here we are two years later.. Haven't heard from you, haven't seen pics of you but sometimes thought about what if. What if we never stopped talking? Well I remember you use to come over with no pj's and when I wasn't looking, you would take a pair of my boxers and put them on and bundle under the covers so I wouldn't notice. Petty but cute, I always thought it was funny. After awhile, you wore the same ones over and over. After we stopped talking, subconsciously, I never wore them. They became the "laundry boxers". The ones I wore when I didn't have any more. One day, my new girl came over and ended up staying late. She didn't have any pj's so while I was in the kitchen cooking, she took a pair of my boxers, got in the shower, got out and got bundled up under the covers. I told her the food was done and she popped from under the covers wearing the same ones you use to wear... Right then I started missing you like fucking crazy and I just smiled. It was just random and odd to me that out of all the boxers, she picked yours and did the same thing you did. I guess I can't forget about you no matter what.. It's all good, I needed that smile. -DizZy

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The Catch.. Dumb ass!

I just got in a heated argument just now with a friend over some bs! She was telling me I was scared of commitment because my longest relationship wasn't actually long at all it was 3 or 4 months, I think. I don't really remember. I haven't been in a relationship in almost three years. Damn, that's long! Her longest relationship was 4 or 5 years and she loovvvvved this guy to death. She thought they would be together for ever, hell I did too low key. Well long story short, they broke up and she is single again. =D

This is where the argument starts! She saying that I'm scared of commitment which is not the case because I commit to a lot of stuff. I can't think of any right now but, I do! LMAO!! I just have a low tolerance for bullshit, very low tolerance. Her and her ex has been dating for bout five years but was more off then on for the last two years of the relationship. She has come to me for more advice then I feel one should and still consider the relationship to be "healthy". So in the past 5 years I have dated maybe 5 girls to her 1 guy but at the end of it all.. WE BOTH STILL SINGLE!!

People, stop holding onto your past relationships as a trophy or something because you only look foolish. Yeah you have had a long relationship but your still single at the end of the day. If it appears that I'm scared of commitment, I look at it as your scared of being alone. Take it how you want haha but that's how I feel. How you like them apples!! What yall think though?

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Too Many fucking options!?

I just realized that most of my friends are single and HATE it! But I also realized that people are single because they have too many options! Bare with me now, don't get mad. If a girl has guys coming at her allllll day every day, she loves being single because she knows that at any point she can get almost any man she want. If she don't have options though, she hates being single. Guys with options I don't really know. I think a guy with NO options stay single because they feel like one day they will have options and don't want to fuck it up. A guy with a slew of women seem to be wifed up and it only draws him more attention from women. Its funny to me how it works but it just seem to be like that. Where do you fit? Why is everyone single though? I find it hard to believe that everyone on some other shit. Who knowz!?

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Her addiction... The Socialite

I didn't realize she was this addicted to it when we first met. I mean, I knew that she liked to do it but never knew it would interfere with our friendship/relationship. Every time I would try to set up a date or something she couldn't fall through with it because she had "prior engagements". I always knew what that meant, she was getting high. Almost every night she was high! I didn't know people got high on Mondays and Tuesdays. I finally confronted her about it and she brushed me off as if i was blowing it out of proportion. She always hit me with the, "I'm young, i have my whole life ahead of me, stop acting as if your my dad." I never understood how she became like this. She use to be such a sweet girl until she was exposed to her new found addiction. Her favorite drug dealers is Onyx, Velvet Room, Platinum 21, Studio 72, Dreamz, and The Compound! She is addicted to the club life.

She club hops nightly, her and her fellow addicts. She was the silent type in school, real pretty but very seclusive but get a few shots in her and play "She Got A Donk", she all on the bar poppin her ass! Never was the fighting type, you cut her in line at the bank, she don't mind.. You cut her in line at the velvet room and she ready to knock ya head off. I asked her why she go out so much, she shrugged and said "I do it because it I kinda get a rush." I then replied and asked her do she ever get bored drinking the same drink, listening to the same songs and seeing the same faces.. She looked at me puzzled and said "um, no. Well sometimes but what else is it for me to do?"

She is down on life because every man she dates is a jerk and she can't meet nothing else but jerks because every man she meet is always in the clubs. The guys she do meet who aren't party animals and socialites, she doesn't pursue them because they seem to be "lame". School is fucked up because she doesn't know where she will get the money from for her last 3 semesters. Her boss is a bitch because he cut down her hours and the only thing that gets her feeling like everything is okay is going to the club, taking a few shots and forgetting all about it.. Until 4:00 a.m. The club closes at 3 am, she lingers around the parking lot with her other fellow addicts until they rally up more addicts and go to waffle house. Everyone eats and as she leaves and drives up 20, she realizes her life is still FUCKED! Better The Velvet Room then Crack or alcohol huh? Depends on who you ask. -DizZy

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Social Network? Fuk all of em!!!

Over the past 8 years, social networks has taken over peoples lives, literally. I took the time to break down each of them and why people seem to be so attached to them.

BlackPlanet.. First social network I ever joined was blackplanet. A simple page to let the world know who you are. Blackplanet was easy, simple and trashy! If you met anyone from blackplanet it was on some sex shit! I feel like the soul purpose of this network was to meet folks online and fuck but that's just me. I didn't have a digital cam to take pics and didn't know how to do html so my page was on some whack shit, I got no play.. NO PIC NO RESPONSE haha!! I met a bunch of yahoo messenger buddies from BP though, I enjoyed it for what it was and what i got out of it. Nothing to major..

Myspace.. became rappers because of Myspace was the next social network I joined. It was an upgrade from Black Planet. I don't feel it was trashy like bp. I finally got a digi cam so I had pics and what not. It's too easy to find people on here! Folks I haven't seen in years and didn't want to see found me on myspace. I liked the fact that it was more business handled on here. If you had a company or was trying to network and get people to know about what it is you do, you could do it on myspace and that was cool up until the influx of fucking RAPPERS! Toooo many ma fuckasmyspace. IF YOU NEVER RECORDED A SONG BEFORE MYSPACE POPPED UP OR YOU BECAME A RAPPER IN 2004-05, AND YOUR OVER THE AGE OF 23, YOUR A FUCKING JOKE! why I signed up for It was too easy for someone to just record a song, post it on myspace, take a few pictures and be a rapper. Bitch you ain't a rapper and that'sFacebook. So I don't have to deal with all the rappers, the snooping around, the drama. Myspace became about musicians, old friends popping up, and who has the most friends..

Facebook.. When facebook came around, it was exclusive. You had to approve someone for them to see all your info and what not. That was cool. It was more laid back and more casual then myspace and BP. It was less drama and bullshit.. Until everyone got on there and they changed the layout. Now its just too much!!! If you don't want everyone in your buisness, DON'T GET FACEBOOK. I don't sit on there and snoop around on pics, wall posts, status updates, that's just not me but.. I've seen many people just sit on there and click pictures, see who tagged in the pic, add the person tagged in the picture, write on their wall and befriend someone on the strength of being nosey. If that wasn't enough, you get an influx of messages from, not rappers, but party and club promoters. I don't know how the fuck they send me messages, I don't know how to stop them from coming. I'm tired of the drama that comes with facebook. All the nosey ma fuckas who get a kick out of snooping around, I let them have it. I no longer upload pics, add females that I date, write on peoples wall. I just use it to showcase my music and blog.

Twitter.. Twitter is bullshit. It's an instant messenger that isn't so instant. The site always fucking up and its becoming a competition on who can have the most followers. It's status updates only. No pics, and you can't send long messages. Bullshit. "Let me tell people what I'm doing at all times" is what I think the site is about. I only like it because I can tell people when I drop new music and a new blog. Other then that, I prefer instant messaging then to tell people what I'm doing at all times.

I have only signed up for these four social networks. I signed up for them for promo use for music and blogs. I don't care to keep up with people and what their doing because I'm just not that kind of person. I'm not knocking anyone who love these networks, do ya thang. I sometimes hate the fact that people have relied on the Internet to meet friends and lovers. Some people can't even talk to you in person but if you get online, they can talk yo ears off. The Internet has killed public speaking. It gives people a false security and allow them to just talk and not worry about being rejected in person. Some people are totally different online then they are in person and look totally different online then they do in person. We gotta stop relying on these mediums to meet people and to have a social life. Just cause you have 20,000 friends on myspace don't mean you have 20,000 friends in the real world.. We are still living in the real world right? -DizZy

Think like a nigga so you wont get played like a bitch? Really?

So I was talking to someone and she said "I think like a nigga so I don't get played like a bitch." That has to be the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard in my damn life! For all the women that think like this, KILL YA SELF!

First, how do men think? You mean to tell me you have evaluated every man in the world and think like us? I know some guys and I be like, "what the fuck were you thinking." Not all men think alike. Also, if you think like a man, you wont get played like a bitch because NO MAN LIKES A WOMAN TO THINK LIKE A MAN, that's GAY! I personally don't want a woman who thinks like a man cause a lot of men don't be thinking about shit. I always looked at women to be smarter then men in every aspect except love. Even the smartest women appear to be the dumbest person in the world when it comes to dealing with men. I don't think you have to think like a man, just think period!

Some women get some good dick and a mediocre conversation and their intelligence flies out the window. They become a whole nother person for the most part. I don't know why that is but I sure wish it wasn't like that. But thinking like a man isn't how you fix that problem. The world would end if all women thought like men. Ugh, that a be horrible. Who ever thought of that quote was dumb as fuck. Why would you stoop down to think like a man to keep from getting hurt? Not saying us men are stupid, not at all, but when you say that that's the impression I get. Women, just be more careful who you talk to and lay with. Just think period, not like man. Peace. -DizZy

The dumb shit that comes along with.. dating?

You like this girl but she not into you %100 because she like this guy, who in turn doesn’t like her because he like some other girl who don’t like him because she is stuck up under some other guy. It’s like an endless cycle of heartbreaks. No one wants to give their all because they don’t want to be the first person that slips and fall into this dark place often called love. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no love hater but love always seems like a dark and cold place when you’re the first person to fall. Even though you fell in love with a person, you still feel alone, foolish, hopeful and regretful. You two aren’t together but you would like to be. Even though nothing is official, you’re in love. Not knowing what the other person is doing or feeling because no matter what they tell you, you still feel like they are leaving something out or lying. You don’t want to appear to be the fool that falls for the person who doesn’t feel the same way about you. You wish you can control your feelings but you can’t. You find yourself thinking about this person at odd times and making future plans when you don’t even know what the future beholds with that person. It’s like your living in a fantasy world dating this person in your head thinking that the person is going to just wake up one day and say, “I want to be with you.” That’s probably not going to happen but who are you to say fuck it only to talk to someone else and go through the exact same shit? You always seem to find the person who doesn’t want to date, who is living life, or talking to someone else. Fucking sucks.

What are you to do? I mean, if you say fuck it, you will be alone… AGAIN! Stuck questioning yourself like, “what the fuck is wrong with me” when there isn’t really anything wrong with you. You seem to always come across the scum bags. Your pride won’t allow you to settle for less then what you deserve so you pass up all the small fries that try to approach you. Days turn to months, months turn to years then you realize that you are and have been single for what seems like fucking forever! And don’t get me wrong, its folks in relationships who still feel like they are single. The communication died months ago, the sex isn’t as good as it use to be, the future plans you planned seem fuzzy on certain days but you stay in the relationship because you are comfortable. What do I suggest we do about this? Hell, I don’t know. *Shrugs*.. I’m about to sleep on this shit. Peace.. -Dizzy

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-Untittled- the confession

I never meant things to end up like this. I mean, I love you. We are a couple.. Maybe we just a couple of kids who was tired of being single and wanted someone there for a change. Maybe we are a couple of kids who are really meant to be. Who knows?? Well I have a confession, I cheated. But let me explain please.

When we first got together I seen a common goal, I seen the big picture. It was me and you and I seen where we was going. We had a common ground. It was soo refreshing to have you by my side and there for me. We use to do everything together. The connection was just better. Then one day the beautiful image I had of us got fuzzy. It’s almost like watching a rose die. I know that the rose use to be a beautiful flower and as it dies, I have the pedals on the floor but the memory of it being beautiful still lives in my head. So when I hinted to you that things were changing, you brushed me off as if I was making it up so my efforts to bring the connection back were going unnoticed because you had it in your head that we were fine.

I kind of feel like once you got me you slowly started to fall back. You got comfortable basically. So when I met “the other woman” she did things that you use to do but stopped. It was honestly nothing at first till we started talking all the time. We laughed at shit me and you use to laugh at. We talked about things you and I use to talk about and it was refreshing. I would never just cheat to sleep with someone, it wasn’t about that. When I meet women in my mind I always see us, what we planned, and the big picture but when I met her and tried to picture us, it was fuzzy. It was unclear. That picture always kept me from doing anything but now that the picture is fuzzy, I have no block.

She and I reminded me so much of us and I couldn’t resist it. It’s like the rose was coming back to life in a way. She kissed me with the same passion you use to kiss me with. She took control just like you use to do when we first made love. When I slid inside her she gasped just like you use to do. She scratched my back and moaned my name just like you did. She sucked my dick and loved it just like you use to do. I tasted her forbidden fruit and she grabbed my head and moaned just like you use to do. After we did what we did I went into the bathroom to get myself together. I looked into the mirror and tried to see the picture of us and I still seen a fuzzy picture. I wanted us back and I couldn’t seem to reach out to you to get you to understand. Is what I did wrong, yeah but do I feel guilty, no. I tried to get back what we had, I attempted to and you were absent. I didn’t “cheat” you did. You got me then fell back and comfortable it seems like, that’s not playing fair. I don’t know if you will forgive me and right now I don’t know if I want you to… Ttyl. Peace.

Thirsty! On the quest for the G!!

I had this friend back when I first started college. He was a cool cat, we just so happen to be from the same place which is weird because I don’t meet a lot of folks from Indiana in Atlanta and here he is, my roommate in college. Everything was cool until we started going out, that’s when I seen the real side of this nigga. And don’t be looking at me weird cause I called him a nigga, HE WAS! Anyway, the dude had to holla at every girl that we seen. Everything he did was for a female. EVERYTHING! And that was a problem for me because I was with him and they probably thought I was just as thirsty as he was but that was definitely not the case. When we got ready to go out, he would get dressed like a woman. Try on a billion shirts and check his self out in the mirror. Rotate his hat on his head to get it jussssst right. One day we was walking around the complex we stayed in and he tried to get at this one female, I admit, she was fine as hell. He spoke to her “Wassup shawty, what’s good with you?” That was definitely not the correct way to approach this one, as soon as he said that she screwed her face up as if he spit in her kool aid. She brushed him off and kept walking, he got mad and yelled out “fuck you den bitch, you aint that fine anyway!” That nigga lying, she was fine as hell. Just at that moment I realized that he was no longer thirsty, this nigga was on the quest for the G!

I got this female friend who appears to be this hard working woman who is sooo caught up in school and work that she can’t have a relationship. Well that’s the impression she gave off when I first met her. I was wrong; she lives for attention from a guy. She goes to the clubs and if a guy shows a hint of interest, she devotes all her time to him and forgets that she came to the club with her home girls as a girls night out. I knew she was thirsty when she started getting dumb about the guys she dated and the things she did. She was just trying to find love too much instead of enjoying things like a normal person. She thought every guy she ran into was prince charming and that was not the case. It’s like, she is the smartest person I know, if not the smartest person I know but when it comes to guys, she is just… Stupid. You would think that a person like her wouldn’t chase guys or be so naïve about certain shit because of her brains and from past guys fucking up. But it’s like the person who surfs and gets bit by a shark and instead of surfing in a different spot or being more careful, they heal and go right back to the same exact spot and surf. She in my books is dehydrated and on the quest for the G!!!

I’m sure all of you have a friend or know someone that is just super dehydrated and needs to get on the quest for some G! HAHA! That’s Gatorade for the slow folks. Everything in life shouldn’t revolve around the opposite sex in my opinion. It should revolve around you! Maybe they had some issues growing up, wasn’t getting enough love or something. If that’s the case or not, they still a tad bit thirsty. Try and guide these people. Let them know, especially the thirsty fellahs, you make females not want to come out the house no more!! They walk around with their phone up to their ear as if they are holding a conversation with someone but in actuality they not. They just trying to ignore all the thirsty ass niggas they attracting. Guys grab ass, call names, grab arms, stalk, all types of crazy shit to get a woman’s attention. That’s another note in itself. Everyone do me a favor, STOP BEING SO DAMN THIRSTY!!! I’m gone, peace. -DizZy

When He Comes Back...

I never knew what girls were talking about when they say that their ex’s always come back. I never had a girl friend to go back to, well there is YOU. So here is my explanation on why I came back.

To be honest, I never went anywhere. When we met, I thought I knew what I wanted and you were that. It’s just that I wasn’t really ready for the commitment. All my previous relationships were whack. Things never worked out how I thought they were but we worked out and I honestly felt like it was too good to be true. So I fumbled and I apologize. It was the perfect situation just the timing was horrible. I was young. I told you that I wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time and I meant that. Here it is I haven’t had a girl in almost 3 years. Since you.. You swore that I was going to be in a relationship before you but that was false because you’re in a relationship and have been for a year.

I never intended to make it seem as if I wanted you to drop everything and be with me. I just told you that when I was ready, I was gone let you know, and I did. I apologize if the timing was bad on my part but I’ve always loved you and still miss the small things about you. Like your smile, the way you say my name, holding your hand and the way you hug me. I wanted that back. It’s not like I was dating a girl and it didn’t work out and I want you back. Umm.. No! I haven’t dated or gotten remotely close to a female since us. I haven’t tried because I kept that promise to you that when I was ready; I was going to come back to you. I came back, and you weren’t able to completely come back to me. It’s cool. No love lost. I just know that the next time I fall, I’ll be sure to make sure I keep it no matter what. I love you, and I apologize for making it hard on you. Wish you and him the best. -DizZy

#1 Rule When it comes to dating

The #1 rule in dating is, don’t follow any fucking rules!! There are no rules; there is no dating regiment that was made hundreds of years ago. Everything you think is right about dating came from someone else who tried it and it didn’t work.

The whole females not calling rule or the three day rule. Bullshit. Waiting to have sex with someone, Bullshit. Now don’t raise your eyebrow about that. If you’re going to have sex with someone, ladies especially, if he isn’t interested in having a relationship with you or taking it to the next level but wants to have sex with you, he will fake being interested long enough to have sex with you and then fall back. So actually, waiting to have sex is a dumb idea because you’re only getting more interested in this guy and involving more emotions when he isn’t. If you would have had sex with him the first week and he fell back then at least you spared your emotions. Not saying you should just fuck every guy you meet, oh no! Just saying waiting to have sex doesn’t always end on a good note. The whole asking your girl friend for advice ladies is also the dumbest thing you can do. Unless your girl friend has been married twenty years and have a good dating rap sheet, if she does, then ask away. Chances are she isn’t so you’re taking advice on how to be happy with a guy from a female who doesn’t have a guy to be happy with. The whole rule that the guy has to pay for the dates is just stupid to me. If you want to go out, then go out even if you have to pay for it. When you see how much “dating” cost you realize how much he put out just to make YOU happy. Trust, some guys prefer home cooked meals over going out. It’s cheaper and more intimate. Some guys prefer a Blockbuster night over going to the movies. It’s cheaper and more intimate, and you can TALK and get cozy with the shit.

Guys, you’re not exempt from the rule shit either. Some guys believe that if a female sleeps with you the first night, she is a hoe. Dude, YOU’RE A HOE TOO; you slept with her as well so kill that. Stop with the insecurity, if she doesn’t like you she just don’t like you. If she is going to cheat, she is going to cheat no matter how much you play robo cop. Checking her phone is not cool; kill that parole officer mind state. Talk more; tell a female EXACTLY how you feel even if it’s kind of bad. Communication is important to a lot of females. Stop texting and emailing them when you can call, I fall victim to that some times. Stop thinking that if you get with a female, that you’re going to miss out on the other billion women in the world. News flash, they don’t want you. Yeah you will be missing out on having sex with other women but that aint shit. You can always teach dog new tricks, always. They have enough toys, positions, places to fuck, and lube to make sex great. So if you find a girl who you connect with and wouldn’t mind being with, see how much fun you guys can have by trying some new shit. The other billion women in the world will not put up with your shit so if you find love. KEEP IT! That shit doesn’t come around often.

There are no rules to dating. Just be smart about some things. Don’t be naive and dumb founded at the fact he or she MIGHT be the one. Have fun, dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. Whenever dating becomes about headaches and stress, LEAVE IT. I’m out. -DizZy

When keeping it real goes wrong….

We always think that we want to hear the honest truth from day one. So, for males and females… How does this sound?

Hey how you doing? My name is _______. I’m 21 and a college student. I would like to get your number and text you instead of actually talking, therefore I can text multiple women at the same time and still handle my daily business. I will lie to you and tell you that I’m busy when I’m really not, I just don’t want to show you too much attention just yet because I’m still fucking my ex and talking to another female as well. Matter of fact, we probably won’t ever be together no matter what you do because I am not completely over my ex and I think that if we date, I’ll be missing out on all the other women in the world. If we do start kicking it hard, you probably will get on my nerves and I’ll back off and blame school work and life for me being so distant. Instead of telling you that we will never be together, ill lead you on to think that maybe one day we will so we can continue to have sex. To be completely honest, I’m not attracted to YOU per say, just your beauty. The conversations we have had thus far haven’t been that interesting but I would love to have sex with you. So umm, what do you say?

Hey, how you doing? My name is _________. I’m 22 and a college student. I really don’t want to give you my number because I know you’re going to text me all the damn time talking about nothing. I’m not really interested in you to be honest. I have a guy I’m sort of keeping around for my entertainment and his sex is great so, there are no openings. You’re going to ask me when can we kick it but I’ll lie to you and say that I’m busy when I be at home just watching TV and studying or better yet, fucking the guy I keep around for entertainment. You will text me but it will be times when I don’t respond to you because you’re not talking about shit but I’ll tell you that my phone was fucked up or something. You’ll believe me because you’re stupid and thirsty, just like most guys. If I do come to you and fuck, it will be because my entertainment is getting on my nerves or he is busy and I need to get a nut off. If I spend the night, it’s only because I don’t feel like driving back home. No you can’t come over my house. I don’t want you knowing where I live just in case I drop your ass cold turkey. Don’t want you in my bushes. We probably won’t ever be together because I’m not completely over my ex and I honestly just aint feeling you like that. So yeah, you can have my number if you want. :D

Yup, that’s about right. Peace. -DizZy

Guilty Pleasure...

Me and you met through a close friend of mines. I'm sure you two had plans on getting closer and dating and I was all for that until we started talking. With you and him "dating" it left room for us to just talk with no worries of one another judging. We kicked it and had fun, like friends do. It just seemed like the more and more we talked and kicked it the more and more we became interested in one another. When he fucked up, you came to me and told me how much you hated talking to guys because you was always left hurt. A month of you two talking seemed like 3 months of talking for me and you.

As you two stopped talking, the more and more we began to kick it. Still no sex, still no kissing. Just great conversations and kicking it. So we plan to go to the movies, its not a date, just a movie. We go out to eat, no date, just dinner. You spend the night, no cuddling, you just didn't feel like driving home afterward. So we laying in the bed and were talking and laughing, joking, not caring about a thing. What we have is, in my mind, genuine. I love it. So we go out to eat more often, no dates, just dinner. Go to the movies, no date, just a movie until we go to the park and hold hands. Then, things switched.

We kissed and started being more affectionate. Started going about things as if we were a couple. Were not suppose to be doing this is whats going on in the back of my mind but its been so long that I had something like this and I don't want it to end. It's been so long since Ive had something this real and this exciting. REFRESHING.. But we don't take it there because you feel as if you will be looked at a certain way. You don't want to cross that line because its "wrong". You two talked all of 2 months. Me and you have been kicking it for about a year and crossed the line six months ago. But hey, I'm not here to make you make a choice. Just saying it was fun while it lasted but I can't kick it with you no more without looking at you as my guilty pleasure. I want to be with you, but we can't. Thanks for letting me know that I can feel again, that I can love again. Peace out my guilty pleasure..

Light Skin Vs Dark Skin

I don't know if you guys know about William Lynch and the letter he wrote in 1712 to keep African American slaves down but.. If you haven't read it. This is a direct quote from the letter. "You must use the dark skinned slaves vs the light skinned slaves, and the light skinned slaves vs. the dark skinned slaves. You must use the female vs. the male, and the male vs. the female." So for those thinking I'm just pulling this theory out my ass, I'm not.

Where I'm from, light skinned females always had to prove their "toughness" to other females but was always liked by all the guys. Dark skinned females weren't considered pretty, they were "cute to be dark skinned". The reason I'm sticking on females is because I see it more with women then men. Some light skinned females have the ugliest attitude, like their better then everyone. Its only some though who in turn fuck it up for the cool ones. Dark skinned females are often insecure because they aren't considered beautiful or attractive so that causes problems between the two. In school it was always light skinned vs dark skinned. ALWAYS! If it wasn't light skinned vs dark skin it was two light skinned females fighting for no damn reason, just to see who's tougher. Light skinned girls in one click, dark skinned girls in the other click.

I know of females who have complained that they were discriminated because of their skin tone. I can't even front, light skinned girls are considered a hot commodity by most guys. Idk why, just is. All women are sexy to me though, shit =D!!! Any who.. We racially profile our self and I just wanted to post about it because a lot of females are in denial. Its usually the light skinned females who don't see it. Why? Because they reap all the benefits of it.

Things are getting a lot better then what they were. Hell, maybe they aren't. What do you think about it though? Do you think its getting better or staying the same?

Im.. Just not that into.. Us?

A female friend asked me about females and what not and figured id just make a post about it..

No matter how much you care for me, how much money you spend on me, how much you see us together in your head, how much you text me and try to get to know me, no matter how many times we have sex, no matter how many dates we go on, no matter how many times we lay up and watch a movie in my room, I just won't be that into you.

See dating to me is more serious now that we not in middle/high school. I only make things official if I can see us together for a long period of time. Just because you see us together don't mean we seem the same thing. I know its wrong for me to entertain the idea of us. I'm sorry. But if I tell you that I no longer want to do these things, your going to make up some reason as to why we should keep "this" going. You claim that your not getting emotionally attached but I see it in your eyes when I tell you we can't hang because I got a session or something.

So, were going to keep this going until you get mad that my feelings didn't change over time as you had planned. You tell all of your friends how much of a jerk and asshole I am and have them screw they faces at me, thats cool. I know what comes along with it, just telling you now that.. I'm just not that into.. Us. =D

When is enough.. enough?

You love me, I like you. You admire me, I admire you. You believe in me, I believe in you. You trust me, I trust... I trusted you. But, you love me, I like you.. Why is it that the love and like part stick out so much more then everything else? You want to be with me, okay, I understand that. I'm flattered you want to be with me so soon. But, I don't want to be with you, not right now. See, you look in the mirror and see a beautiful person who is complete and damn there perfect. I look at the same reflection and see a person who is emotionally incomplete. A person who needs to love thyself and be happy with thyself before I can come along and be with you. I see a broken smile and a semi patched heart. I see insecurities.. Not making you out to be a bad person because that is not the case but, I can't be with a person like that. I mean, here it is, you don't know anything about me.. You know how I know you don't know anything about me? Because I haven't told you anything about me!!! So here it is, 4 months of knowing one another and you want to be together..

You love me. YOU LOVE ME.. I don't and can't love that easily but... I had to be doing something right for you to love me correct? I had to do something right for you to trust me correct? For you to smile when you hear my name right? So why isn't what we have enough? Why isn't it enough until i finally let you get to know me? Until I can smile when i hear your name or when i fully trust you? Why isn't what we have good enough for you? I mean, who's to say the way you view me, is the way I view you? I mean, I only will make you my girl friend when I feel like i can be with your forever. But you can't wait for me? How selfish is that of you? That you want what YOU want when YOU want it when it comes to US. That don't make sense to me. So sense I'm not ready to date you, I'm the bad guy? That's why I wrote you this love letter.. Saying bye. Your giving me an ultimatum of making you my girl or lose you and I think that's selfish and true colors was shown. I'm just not ready.

P.S. Have you felt like this?

The Love Hater..

I haven't had a Valentines since like 6Th grade.. When my mom bought me two tickets to the valentines day dance and Monique turned me down the last minute, literally. I bought roses and candy with my money I saved up.. She bailed on me so I gave the roses to my mom and let my sis Tee eat the candy. I was fucking pissed. I know I was young but I swore I wouldn't put my all into valentines day again. I slipped up in 05 when I bought a big ass bear, flowers and tons of fucking candy for India and she seemed the least interested that I wanted to see her on valentines day. Mind you, she was my girl friend. So I said fuck it, called up my best female friend, went to eat and gave it to her. It seems like when I give my all, I get a foot in the ass for it. Now.. I'm like fuck it all together.

Now I look at it as a day for the world to look down on the people who find peace at being single. Here you have one day out the whole year where everyone is all lovey dubby and shit. Its cute.. I admire those who give their all and get at least 90% back and sorry to all the females who give me 90 and I give them 50% back. Blame my ex's. I have been scorned!

But if your in a relationship, I figure you buy ya counter part cards, candy, flowers, make hotel reservations, cook breakfast and dinner, have great sex, tell them you love them all fucking day but... Why not do that everyday? Like.. why not be spontaneous and do it everyday oppose to the one time your suppose to do it? If we stayed happy about being in a relationship all year long, we wouldn't have soo many unfulfilled relationships we have today. You buy your counterpart that shit July 1st and they think you cheating or have something your trying to hide. I think its funny but I am not trying to hate or rain on any ones parade. Not at all. Just speaking my mind. So as the world sees X's and O's today.. I'm a be on some other shit, writing music and chilling and waiting for the female that will allow me to make everyday Feb 14Th.. Happy Valentines Day. -Eric