Am I shallow DizZ? Dating people with kids..

Am I shallow for not wanting to date a guy with kids? -Ash.P

I know I'm a catch hell for writing this but, O well. No your not shallow at all. My mom was a single parent and her having a boyfriend always fucked with me. Mainly because they would break up and he would disappear and her mood would change. I got attached to one of her boyfriends. He was cool as shit but they didn't mesh to well. Probably cause he was a kid in a grown up body now that I think about it. I always promised myself that I would stray away from dating a woman with kids because of that.

So Ash.P told me her situation and I don't blame her for asking the question cause it is a good one. Can you really find happiness in someone who you have to share? Think about it.

You would get mad if you had to share me with another female. So why can't I feel the same about your kid? The kid will always come before me, the kid will always be there. Your schedule is based on the child and all of your decisions will be based on the child. Who am I to ask you to change that? I HAVE to share you! I have to share your time and your love. You can never give me 100% of you and if you ever gave me 100% of yourself to me I wouldn't like you anymore because your kid is more important.

I think the person with the kids don't understand the thought process of folks who don't want to be with them because of the kid. They might think you are shallow. They might tell you their kid wont matter. That might be true to them but it matters to you and will always matter to you. I have to like you, and the kid. I don't really like kids that much so I doubt I will like yours and then tolerate the stuff kids do. Its just messy and I don't want mess nor do I want you to lose respect for me because I feel this way. Its a hard thing to just come out and say. Yes we connect in every way and I like you but.. I can't be with you because of this. It's the hardest thing to say because you feel as if they will look at you different.

I just know how I get when I date and I'm too selfish to share you with someone who has no choice but to be there. I have friends with kids and they always have baby daddy drama. I honestly hate all drama and drama that might not ever go away is horrible. My mom told me not to have kids so I can have my freedom to move freely. I tried my hardest not to have a kid so dating someone with a kid seems to be ending up in the same place.

So, are you shallow for not wanting to date a guy with kids, no. Not to me you don't because I understand exactly why you don't want to. You love attention, you want that person to yourself, you don't want anyone else to intervene in your happiness. Will that person understand you, probably not. What do you do? I have the slightest idea. To tell or not to tell is the question. But I don't think your shallow.