Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I normally try to keep my personal life to myself. I don't like venting because it seems like no one has answers but I'm a just post some of my thoughts and see what y'all think. Idk. If you relate.. Comment...

Sometimes I wake up feeling okay then sometimes I wake up like what the fuck is the plan today? Filling out billions of applications and submitting this saaame fucking resume only to hear "we will be in touch." No the fuck you won't, who you think you fooling with that line? Then I got my music and I know I'm hot and I know I have what it takes to "make it" but in the back of my mind I know that shit ain't promised. So many fucking folks who produce, rap, sing, blah blah blah.. When do I stop "dreaming" and face reality that it just might not happen. Every time I put my head down in my hands from frustration, I see the stop sign on my forearm that reads "Never Stop Dreamin."

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a grown up. I wish my mom slapped me every time I said that. No one told me that life was fucked up lol. No one warned me of all the problems and worries that comes along with being an "adult." Shit slowly but surely caught up to my ass and hit me like a fucking freight train and I was looking around like daaamn, why wasn't I warned about this? I seen my mom stressed and depressed at times growing up but she never told me what was wrong.. She made things work for the better and that's what lets me know that I'll be aight if I just work hard at it but.. Damn, I would have liked a warning that life is a bitch! I heard that growing up but shit, I didn't give a fuck cause I ain't know what they meant. The only time life was a bitch for me growing up was when I couldn't go outside and play with my friends.

Life always throw certain shit at you just to see how you handle it and if it breaks you, it breaks you.. If it makes you stronger then you get stronger.. My only problem is, I always think about why shit happened the way it did rather I'm stronger or weaker. That's one of my faults but no matter how much i try to change it.. I think about it. I want nothing but to live comfortably with a woman who can keep me smiling. I want to write and make music that uplift spirits and to let them know simply, you aren't alone. I don't need the gliss and glamour, I never been a show off mainly because I never had shit so I know how to appreciate shit that I do get. I learned that some moves I make will not be liked by certain people and that's only acceptable because, hell, that's life. People won't always like the things you do but if it makes sense at the end of the day, they will respect you for it. If not you can't do nothing but keep it moving.

I'm not going crazy, my mind just racing. Its more venting just didn't want yall to think I'm on some other shit. But yall feel where I'm coming from though? Aw fuck it. Niggas never want to admit that life ain't going the way they want.. I've realized that haha. O wells. I'm alone with this one. Peaace!

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