A lot of people use the line “I’m not looking for anything serious.” But what I have found out that 7 times out of 10 they are looking for something serious, what their looking for just isn’t in you. I honestly think no one wants to be the person to say “yeah I’m looking to fall in love by spring. I want something serious!” You run the risk of running the person away and appearing to be desperate, thirsty and crazy. There really isn’t a win with this. You have to stay cool even if you develop feelings. No one is really honest about what they want until it’s too late. I have heard “I’m not looking for anything serious” then the same girl turned around and said “I love you” a couple weeks later. Fail. Boom! In the game where EVERYONE wants EVERYONE to be honest, NO ONE is completely honest. Pride, past pains, and uncertainty makes that honest shit hard to do. So what is the answer? There isn’t one. Just know when you’re not 100 from jump, you can’t be mad at the other party when you don’t see eye to eye.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I have a reoccurring problem. Every female I meet within hours of talking hit me with the “I’m a busy woman” line. This is not a problem. By all means handle your business baby girl. But if you’re using the busy line as a code for something else then you’re failing. If you’ve been hurt and trying to pace how close we get or how much I learn about you then say that from the start. If you talking to and or fucking someone else then let me know so I won’t look like a dumb ass trying to link up with you. I’m sending you sweet text messages for no reason as you getting piped down by some other guy. If you just not interested then just say that. I’m no stranger to rejection so I won’t be mad if you be upfront. I will however be upset if you waste my time and or I look like a dumb ass at the end of it.
What happens is, down the line I get use to you being busy. I get use to not spending time with you and you brushing me off. So if one day you just so happen to get lonely enough to hang out with me and we end up hitting it off and have sex I’m a still treat you like you’re busy. I will not start sending text messages more frequently; I will not try and court you again. I know my dick is good but I know it isn’t that damn good it clear schedules. Or maybe it is. (Insert cheese grin here!) Either way, you will think I’m on some other shit and you will tell your friends how much of a dog you think I am because all I wanted to do was have sex. Wrong.
If you busy, then be busy. If you’re cautious or dealing with someone else just say that therefor we can have a crystal clear understanding from jump. I know how to better deal with you with a clear understanding. We all know people make time for what they want to especially sex or love. You hitting me with that line makes me think you think I’m some dumb, thirsty ass dude with no clue how the game goes. Do NOT use the busy line as a form of hard to get, it will backfire most of the time. You started off by playing games but get mad and tell me you need a man who is mature and not on games. Now if that isn’t ass backwards. But I will end this post here before I seem like I’m angry. I’m not. It’s just annoying. -E
You did everything right this time. You waited to have sex. You let your guard down and opened up to this person and they did the same. You went on several dates before you actually seen one another house. In the couple weeks that you two have been kicking it, neither one of you crossed the line. It’s been the best experience you have had in a long ass time. One day you go to the person and tell them how you feel. How you really like them and hope that what you guys have can escalate to something more, something special, something serious. As soon as you let your guard all the way down and as soon as the butterflies in your stomach became a familiar feeling when around this person... BOOM! They put you in the friend zone. Tell you that you are more like a brother or sister to them and they wouldn’t want to mess up a good friendship. Instantly the butterflies in your stomach drop to the bottom like stones into an ocean. It wouldn’t have been so bad if you weren’t so into this person. It wouldn’t be half bad if you didn’t sit and daydream about future days spent together. Now you’re mad as hell but have to remain cool as if you completely understand where they coming from but.. you don’t.
The thoughts that run through your mind instantly after are almost crippling. Did I try to hard? Did I not try hard enough? Am I ugly? What did I do wrong? What makes it even worse is a couple weeks later this person hits you up telling you about trouble their having with someone new. As if you care to hear about that shit. In your mind you thinking “if you were with me you wouldn’t even have to deal with this shit, dummy!” But what can you do? You don’t even know where you went wrong to correct it in the future and if it has happened to you once, then it has happened to you twice. As the years go by it becomes a familiar feeling and as sad as it may seem you get use to it. You get use to everyone wanting to be best friends with you. You grow accustomed to having the feeling that you’re not good enough. Fuck respecting me! You don’t want to mess up a good friendship? Fuck this friendship! I’ll be your enemy if that’s what it takes to get closer to you. Who invented this friend zone shit? Who was the first person put in the friend zone? How did they react to this shit? Did it eat away at their confidence and self-esteem after a while? I’m not losing my cool but hell, how cool can you be sitting in the friend zone with the dunce cap on? If you ever been put in the friend zone, drop a comment. -E
Friday, February 11, 2011
Love isn’t enough to keep a person around. This is a PSA for the world. Just because you love me unconditionally does NOT mean that I should stick around and deal with.. Well.. You. If I have to TRY and make something work then I might wake up and forget to try and we fail. My ideals towards relationships are twisted, yes I know. If you know you got a few pounds on you that you can get off, then get it off. If you refuse to then don’t get mad when I look at the slim thang with the booty sticking out when she walk by. Love does not make you look better and love does not make me ignore the petty attitude you tend to have. This kind of attitude might be why I haven’t been in a relationship in 4 years but oh well. I like things that look nice, people included. If you don’t like working out to get YOU to look better and be healthy then why would I believe you will put in extra work into making me happy from time to time? I mean, I’m willing to do it and stay eye candy for you throughout the relationship.
Some people have to stop thinking that just because you work hard and have certain things people are supposed to want to be with you. I hear females complain all the time “I got my own house, car, job and I’m about my business. Why can’t these men act right?” Nowhere in that did you say “I’m a great lover and a great friend.” A lot of women of my generation accomplish so much but forget how to be a woman with a man. It’s great that you are powerful alone but how useful are you on a team, on my team? So worried about everything except how to make us work but complain so much that we don’t work. It’s not all women; it’s some good ones out there. I’ve ran across a few. Hello to y’all. Before you decide to go gay because men aren’t acting right, turn around and look at yourself. Figure out if you are doing everything you can to be the best woman for a man. Meaning, be his lover, his friend, and his rock. Don’t be just someone he can have great sex with. Be a best friend. Know your man. KNOW HIM inside and out. I know this post is all over the place but it’s a much needed post. Stop thinking being about business and your looks is the end all be all. Know how to be a woman with a man before you say there aren’t any real men out there. Peace.
I honestly think I’m burned out by social networks. For something that keeps the world connected I honestly feel like it is separating us and making most of us forget how to be personable with one another. Our generation has this weird obsession to voice everything we feel via blog and status updates. Like you are that important that you have to tell the world “I’m in a shitty mood right now!” Who in the fuck cares? Are you really that lonely that you couldn’t keep that to yourself? I feel as if most people just want to be heard or seen. Spent their whole life wanting to be heard and now they can finally talk and someone can see it.
I also don’t like how people rely on the internet to keep up communication. People spend over $300 for a phone but only use it as a social network checker, texting device and a GPS. Try calling somebody in your phone and I bet 7 times out of 10 they will ignore the call and text you. No one likes talking on the phone anymore BUT they will call your ass on skype in a heartbeat. People don’t even know how to flirt or start conversations anymore because of this. If someone likes you, they won’t tell you when they see you but they will poke the fuck out of you on facebook and confess their love via twitter DM or facebook.
Are social networks really working in reverse? Instead of keeping us connected I feel its breaking up real friendships and relationships and allowing us to hide behind profile pictures and 140 character text conversations. It has gotten to the point that it is not used for social networking because if someone sends you a link to anything you report them as spam. People build these fake personalities when they get behind a keyboard. They develop this internet confidence and get a high off how many RT’s they can get or how many likes they can get on a status and or picture. I know a lot of low confidence women who seem like divas on these social networks. I know lame ass guys who get on twitter, become an asshole and all of a sudden are cool. I don’t see it getting better, only worse. These are just my thoughts though. Peace.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Dear angry black person. I find it that its people like you that keep our race from moving forward. Black people still complain about slavery and want to be treated special but want to also be treated equal. Certain people complain all the time on how we as black people are perceived in the media and I for one don’t understand how. Black people never know how stupid they look doing something until a white person do it to make fun of them. For example, we get mad when we see a commercial of a white person wearing big dumb ass baggy clothes with du rags on (with the flap out word to @Dormtainment), big dumb ass chains and platinum teeth. If we don’t like the way the media portray us then maybe we should stop acting like that. Just a thought. Stop saying ignorant shit like “it’s a part of our culture.” Why that got to be a part of our culture?
Black women, if you hate that the media portray you as loud, angry, bitter and money hungry then maybe most of you should stop being loud, angry, bitter, and money hungry. We have to stop thinking the media sets the tone for how we act and maybe they are just showing us what they see. Black women always feel objectified by the videos with the half-naked women in them. I think because they think black rap artists are the only one who has sexy women in their videos. Country artists do it as well. They have like 100 blond women in bikinis jumping in pools and showing boobs.
How did we get mad at John Singleton for Boys in The Hood and Menace to Society? Its black people who really live like that and that movie connected with them and told their story. If something doesn’t connect to you it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or objectifying us as a whole. We have to do better as a whole and stop playing victim. We still are asking for 40 acres and a mule. The fuck would most of you do with a mule let alone 40 acres? Nothing at all. Stop feeling like the world owes us something because they not giving us shit if you haven’t noticed. But if some of you want to continue to play victim and seem weak amongst the other races then that’s fine, just do that crying and shit on your own time. Thanks.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Hey, how you doing? I take it you have been talking to this guy for a couple months. You guys go on dates and everything is looking up, right? Right. So you have met the family and you feel slightly important. He even lets you keep a toothbrush over at the house and a couple of outfits! YAY! Well if its that deep, why hasn't he made you the girl friend? Why hasn't he made it official? I'm sure you 100% with being a couple. You want to change your facebook statuses and what not because you know a relationship isn't real until it's posted on the net, right? Riiight. So really, what's the hold up? Let me guess, you have no idea and every time you bring it up to him he changes the subject. This might come as a surprise but you're the side chick.
I don't know a guy that waits forever to make a girl his girl, unless he just a whore. Either he likes you or he doesn't. It's not rocket science. Unless he had a girlfriend for years before you and she cheated on him then killed his dog, broke his playstation 3, and slapped his mom he will not be that hurt that he can't commit. Even though you running around and telling people you in a relationship, you're not. Even though you frown your face up at girls being the side chick, you are a side chick until given the title. Stop being scared. Demand something or part ways. Better that then "talking" to someone for a couple months only to find out you two aren't going to be a couple. I personally think once you over the age of 21, saying I'm "talking" to someone already lets me know ain't shit popping off. Either we together or we not. Think about that, especially if you been talking to someone for longer then a couple weeks.