Sunday, December 27, 2009

So wrong.. So Good..

Over my moms house straight from work, she lives close to my job so I come over at least once a week and eat all her cereal and watch a movie. Just to relax, see her and fill my Fruity Pebbles fix. I was watching Seinfeld and eating my cereal when my mom walked into the living to get on the computer. My mom is a very loud person when she on the phone with her home girls. VERY LOUD! So I'm watching t.v and trying to ignore her, but, it wasn't working. "Yeah girl, my son gone house sit for us this weekend while me and my hubby go on our get away trip." I turned around and looked and she started smiling and continued to talk on the phone. First off, I didn't know she was going out of town. Second, I never agreed to house sit. But, I mean how do I tell her no? She will bring up EVERYTHING she has ever done for me. "Boy I gave birth to you and you mean to tell me you can't house sit for me for 2 days? That's fucked up!" I caved in. The good thing is, they had all the movie channels which I couldn't afford and a fridge full of food. I'm there!

I go home and pack a little bag of clothes, grab my iPod, laptop and I'm out the door. When I get back to mommas house, they were already gone. I used my key to get in, make myself at home and take a shower. Watching t.v. and on twitter while listening to my Phoenix play list on Pandora.. Nigga.. I'M CHILLIN *Kanye Voice*! Couple hours later I hear a knock at the door. I take my time to get up because UPS be delivering wigs for my mom. They knock once and leave the box at your door. I open the door and look down for a box and seen legs, sexy legs. I knew those legs, those was Ms. Tracy's legs. I looked up and spoke. "Hey Ms. Tracy, my mom gone for the weekend. Want me to tell her you stopped by?" I knew she knew that momma was gone because she was the person on the phone when my momma asked me to house sit. "Oh I know baby, I came to get my jacket your mom left in her room for me." I moved out the way and let her walk in to get the jacket. Ms. Tracy was like fam.. Almost.. Aside from me having a crush on her since I was like 16. Beautiful divorced woman in her late 30's. She never and will never know that though because I tell NO ONE! She gets her jacket and walks back through the living room and ask me "Baby what the hell is twitter? Am I too old to know what twitter is?" I laughed and told her naw. "Show me what its all about, I need to stay in tune with whats going on in the world. I aint that old am I?" I liked her because she had a strange sense of humor and is always speaking her mind. "Sure, take off ya jacket and put that jacket down and I'll show you right quick. I aint doing nothing." She does so and sits on the couch. Takes off her heels and gets comfortable. She seen my empty bowl on the floor and asked "So you not gone offer me a bowl of cereal? Boy you got NO manners, I'm a guest. I GUESS you not use to having a woman around you huh, I gotta teach you a few things." I didn't know what to say, so.. I didn't say nothing and got her a bowl of cereal. Give it to her and show her how to use twitter while the music is still playing. We just vibing out, laughing and joking. I seen a side of her that I never seen and never expected to see. You never know a woman till you see her with her "hair down". Couple hours passed and she got up to leave. Walked her to the door, she kissed me on the cheek and left. I shut everything off and down and went to sleep.

Woke up and went to the gym. Came back, showered, cooked breakfast, got dressed and went to the mall. I came back and took a nap. Woke up to someone knocking on the door. I opened the door and looked down again because I wasn't expecting anyone to be stopping by.. I seen legs.. Again. "Boy you need to learn how to keep your head up when answering the door. You got down syndrome when answering doors?" Ms. Tracy ass wait.. Ms. Tracy smart mouth ass! We both laughed. She had on this long ass rain coat. Maybe it started raining when I was sleep so I invited her in. "What's up, you forget something yesterday?" "Yes, actually I did. I hope I didn't interrupt you or anything. Were you sleep? That's a trick question because your breath smells like it even if you weren't." I loved her since of humor. "You stupid, you know that right? But.. Naw, I wasn't doing nothing. You not interrupting." "Good, now take my jacket. We have to work on your manners boy." She turned around so I could take her jacket and as I take off the jacket I see no shirt but a bra strap.. Then.. Matching underwear. Black EVERYTHING.. Bra, panties, and heels. I got nervous. VERY NERVOUS! "Don't stand there with ya mouth open, that's my job. Take me." I grabbed her hand and headed to my mothers room. This was soo wrong. But.. I wanted it. I swear I started walking in slow motion. Every step I thought how good it would be but what is going to come of it after it was done. I wasn't nervous about fucking, pussy is pussy. You treat it the same way, how good it is a different story.

Shit speeds up and she throws me on the bed and climbs on top of me. We take off my shirt and shorts as we kiss on one another. Her lips were soft as hell and the way she worked her tongue was amazing. She definitely knew what she was doing.She grabs my dick and kisses it as if she loved it. Sucked it and I swear to you. My toes curled and I was grabbing for shit that wasn't even there. I think I even started rapping a Tupac verse.. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TUPAC! I had to make her stop or I would have nutted and fell asleep. NO BUENO! I threw her on her back and kissed her all over her body. She was beautiful. Toes, legs, thighs, pussy.. Pussy.. Pussy. PUSSY! I stayed there extra long. "Fuck me." I don't know where a condom came from but it magically appeared on the night stand so I used it. I can't really describe what the sex was like. Just know.. It was magical! Not regular magic like making a quarter disappear. I'm talking about Harry Potter magic. Black magic! It was passionate, nasty, hot and sticky. Now that I think about it. I should have got it on cam cause the shit was epic. From hitting it from the back, riding me, riding my face, fucking standing up, in the shower.. I fell in love some where in there. No. I'm serious. So after we get out the shower. I lotion her up and rub her feet. "You are pretty good. I didn't expect you to keep up with me. I couldn't resist it. After chilling with you yesterday, I felt closer to you. I haven't been that comfortable in years." I just nodded and kept rubbing her feet. I didn't talk, just in case I was dreaming. I didn't want to talk and then wake up.

"So now what" I asked as she was leaving. "We a figure something out baby. You grown aint you? We can do whatever we want." I loved that answer, kissed her and watched her walk to her car and drive off. Got back in the house, showered again, cleaned up, sprayed, and tried to wrap my head on what just happened. Couple hours later my mom called. "What you doing? You haven't burned my house down have you?" I told her know and that I was watching tv. "We a be home in the morning, just wanted to call in advance to let you know. Get them stanky booty hoes out my house if any in there." OooO.. Only if she knew.. It was sooo good.. But.. So wrong.. Damn!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

So.. Your gay?

Let me start by saying I am not a homophobe. I don't have many if any gay friends. But I don't have a problem with them. This post is not to the gay men, yall do yall thing and sword fight all yall want. ON GUARD! It's to the girls who date studs. I was in walmart and seen this cute ass girl near the ketchup. She sized me up, I sized her down. She smiled, I smiled. I grabbed the ketchup for my burgers and went to get my cereal. Well I bumped into her again in the milk aisle but this time she was with a stud. The stud started mugging me. Now if anyone mug me I feel like something has to be said but the stud is still a female and no matter what I would be wrong if I hit her in the head with my Fruity Pebbles. Then I started wondering why females date studs. They look like guys.. They dress like guys.. They use dildo's and fuck you like a guy. So.. Why date the stud? I get it that some women aren't attracted to men so they date women. That's cool and I understand. I don't understand girls who date fake guys though. I know you don't get a sense of security with the fake guy. Can someone please break that down for me? I'm not trying to be an ass, I just don't understand that concept. Like, if you like girls looking like a guy, then just be with a guy. You get the same thing right? But the real thing. I hope I made sense and didn't come off like a complete ass. I am a complete ass but I know how some folks are about that topic. Sensitive! Help me out so I can know. Thanks. Peaace!

Monday, December 14, 2009

How to fall in love...

Shit came to me in a dream I swear.

Have you ever started liking someone you weren't suppose to be feeling? Like a friend of the family, someone over the net or something? You know you started liking someone and you KNEW you wasn't suppose to, I know I ain't the only one. Anyway, you wondered how you started liking them so much? I figured that shit out!

When we know somone like us or we like someone, some of us tend to start playing mental games. It may sometimes happen subconciously. I know some girls who play the "I don't want to seem too available or desperate so I won't text back right away or not answer his calls." I don't know what guys do because I don't date them so females when you comment list some shit dudes do when they "play games." We all have screenings for our potential lovers. For some of us its looks, for some of us its money, status, all the other silly shit that sometimes don't matter but hey, we do it. That inhabits us on finding someone we really "connect" with. You need a connection. You need to be able to lay the friendship foundation down first. If you meet someone and instantly like them, the friendship foundation won't be laid down. Why? Because you front for the person you trying to impress. You never let them see you with your guard down. You with hold information thinking they will judge you and look at you different. BUT!

When you can just be YOU, you let your guard down and things flow how they should. You are honest and open because you don't care what this person thinks of you in that department. Sex isn't pressed because y'all just friends and probebly fucking someone else. Ya mind is clear in the sex department. Girls let guys they aren't interested in see them with their house clothes on and shit. Hair all wrapped, cut up shirt, no make up, holy socks and shit. We don't let stupid shit get in the way like dates. You don't have to go on a date, don't have to do the movies and dinners. Y'all just friends so y'all kick it at the house and watch bootleggs or Fresh Prince and talk. Y'all eat home made dinners or peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. Y'all talk about past relationships and share honest sex stories. You aren't afraid to show emotional scars because you aren't trying to impress this person. You two talk about the people you are actually dating and low key size them up. After awhile you start thinking, man I can be with this person. I love them. They make me happy all the time. That's how it happens isn't it? Did I leave anything out?

When we like people I think we get into the dating hype. Following rules and guidelines and have no idea why and it fucks us up. Now a days I feel like people are dating strangers. You don't really know the person you kissing and spending all your time with. You are infact in love with their representative. Its a side of them you haven't seen because they know it a probably drive you away. How do we fix this? I don't think we can because the dating game is stuck in our brain. The ability to just keep it funky with someone you want to be with is scary to most of us. We have a fear of rejection so some of us naturally do these things to keep from being rejected. Hide some things about our past, hide some flaws, always try to be attractive to the person rather it be always wearing ya cute clothes and make up. Its a bunch of silly shit.

Learn to control it and I bet you find a better lover. I'm almost sure of it. What you think? Peaaace!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Oh So You Mad? pt. 1

Wrote a note about women who can't cook. A lot missed the key point I was trying to make in the second paragraph and If you missed it, go back and read. It's not just about cooking. Fuck the cooking, a lot of men can cook these days so we don't need you to cook anything. I tried to take it deeper then just the cooking. But since we have SO many women objecting to it and saying things like "My mom tried to teach me, I just didn't care to learn. Does that make me less of a woman? No! I want a man's finances together because mine will be on point." "I'm personally disagree that an ideal women would revolve around cooking." I didn't say that in the post but if that's what she got, okay. And this, my favorite "u said ideally men handle finances & women handle cooking. WELL now its a LOT OF WOMEN who handle the finance so roles r CHANGING. jus sayin back then women had nothing BUT TIME 2learn how 2cook now women r in school, working & all that so yall need 2b PATIENT." Well its funny you guys said that, and I will address all of this. One thing you have to remember is that I am speaking from a mans point of view.

The one that stuck out to me was the last text in bold.The one about a lot of women have their own finances and don't have time to learn and all that. I understand what you saying but it don't make any kind of sense. When you are a child, you learn to wash clothes, clean your room, guys learn to shave, women learn how to handle being on their period, so on and so on. I'm not saying you should learn how to cook NOW, of course you don't have time. You are out partying and going to college, getting in unsuccessful relationships and can't figure out why shit just aint working out. I'm saying you should have learned to cook back when you was in grade, middle and high school, right when you was learning to do laundry. To prepare you for YOUR future. So YOU can feed YOURSELF. It has nothing to do with cooking for a man. So lets talk about the patience part which I found tickling. You want me to be patient so you can learn how to cook when you could have learned how to cook long time ago? I mean you have to eat to live right? You eat everyday. It hasn't dawned on you that you can't cook every time your stomach growl? So instead of learning how to cook which saves you money in the long run you just eat out, buy hot pockets, pizzas, all that. If you got a foreman grill, kudos to you, that's a start.

But why do I have to be patient for you to catch up on something you could have learned growing up? Are you going to be patient with me until I get my funds up? Are you going to be patient with me while I learn how to fuck? Are you going to be patient with me as I learn how to comfort you and make you feel like a lady? Hell naw, you gone leave and be with someone who has all their shit together. Why? Because in your mind you feel like a man should have all that together before you meet him. I personally feel like if you didn't take the time to learn something stuff growing up you wont ever take the time to learn it. Rather it be making friends with people, dating and what it takes to make something work, being social, all that. You just don't learn math, english, science, and social studies in school. You learn how to deal with people, how to problem solve, you learn about yourself, who to associate with and who not to associate with. ALL THAT. I mean, at least I did.

I keep hearing "roles are changing." Okay lets dissect that shall we? I understand that women have since evolved since the 60's and 70's. Women want to have their own money, they want to be more established, okay. I understand and RESPECT that. I want all women to have money and power, that shit turn me on. A chick in a nice car with her own shit.. They get the grade A penis from Dizzy! Don't say roles are changing though because even with that said you still want a man to be just that, a man. Females roles are changing. So what exactly is it that you want from a man? Can any female answer that. What is it that you want from a man? If you bring home your own bacon, if you got your own shit, what is it that you need a man to do these days. I'm not being sexist, I'm saying women should stay at home, I'm simply asking. What do you want the relationship to be like? What is it you want the man to do? I'm asking so I can know for myself for when I decide to get in a relationship.

If you are only going to think about yourself then that's cool. If you are going to date and be with someone then you have to change your thought process and include making someone else happy.

end of part 1.

So you can't cook??

To all the women who can't cook.. HOW DARE YOU!

Every female that I seem to run across can't cook but they hit me with this line "I'm learning though." That's like me saying, "naw, I don't know how to fuck but I'm learning though." Wouldn't that make you frown ya face up? Back in the day, waaaay back waaaaay back, women took care of the home and the man took care of the finances. This is what I heard anyway. Today's woman still want a man to have finances but they don't know how to take care of the home. I just don't understand how a woman can still ask for a man to be a ideal man if they can't be the ideal woman. Sure you can dress and look good, sure you can club and get in for free, sure you can take cute pictures for myspace and twitter but what else can you do? Can you do any tricks? How can you say you looking for a "real man" when you not even a "real woman." It's not just about the cooking so let me back up and clear things up.

When a man is teaching a man how to be a man, its the conversation that a man has with the boy that teaches him. As he cut the grass for money, he schools him the importance working for money is. When he is fixing the car in the garage, he tells him how important it is you learn how to fix things on your own instead of waiting around for someone else. When the mom cleans the house and cook dinner, the dad secretly tells the boy to tell his mom how good the food is and say thank you for everything. It's things like that that a man teaches a boy through conversation as they are growing up. With a woman, if you don't know how to cook, it means certain conversations didn't take place. The things women talk about in the kitchen when men aren't present is very important and you didn't have that. You probably didn't notice your mom cleaning up around the house or how she comforted your dad after a long day at work. Now I might be looking tooo deep into this. I know but I can only go by the things I have witnessed. The girls that do know how to cook often know how to keep a man happy just a little bit more then the ones who can't cook. I know I'm probably pissing a lot of females off right now but I just couldn't take it anymore. You get a man with your looks but you need to learn how to KEEP the man. Same thing goes with a man. We get the woman with looking like we about something. Shooting a little game at her.. But after that, we have to learn how to KEEP the woman.

I know some are thinking, why don't you just learn how to cook so that won't be a problem. Well I do know how to cook so that aint the issue. What man wants to play the role of the woman all the time? What woman will be fine with a man cooking and cleaning in the relationship? What will you do then? Other then have sex that is.. These are real questions! I blame the new generation. Single parents are fucking up the way the world turns. Single parents raises kids who will be single forever! O well. I'm a go cook me some lunch right now and say fuck it. Peaaaaaaaace!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Fucking vs Making Love vs Quickie

Sexual intercourse - heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis.

Fucking, Making love and quickie are not defined in the dictionary so I figured id try and break it down so that it will forever be broke! All the shit the same, there is no difference. It is something that we made up to feel special when we are having sex with someone. Can you make love with someone for 5 minutes or is that a quickie? Can you fuck to slow music, candles and light 4 play? Can you think its making love but the partner think yall just fucking? What kind of connection do you have to have? It's all the same, penetration. I mean don't get me wrong, I know there are differences but why is what I'm asking. I know girls who prefer to be fucked but how do you make 'fucking' feel special? Like if you want it to be right.. Do you light candles, play some sade, get the strawberries and then fuck? Do you make love to cut buddies? {random but a good question}.. WAIT!! Shit just hit me.. When you 'make love' to a woman, is that where she gets her feelings from? Because yall "made" the love? Random, don't mind me.

I honestly don't care what I call it. If Keri Hilson came to me and said "I want a quickie" I'm a make love to that tall heffa for 5 mins. If I don't have shit to do and can have sex, I might go for 30 mins or so.. Play some R-Kelly and light candles so I can see and take my time. Kiss and lick her all over because she looked tasty in her outfit that day and she might label it making love because I took my time.. But.. Does it count that I only took my time because I had nothing else to do? If this girl hit me up that be avoiding me and we have sex.. I might 'Fuck' her for a long ass time.. Change the position about 5 different ones.. Pound her shit out, deep stroke, short stroke, eat the chocha, smack her ass, choke her, etc.. But I'm doing these things with intentions of hurting her because she been avoiding me. That to me is fucking but she might tell her girl friends that we made love because of the shit I did. Idk. I mean, it's all just words to me. It's all sex to me at the end of the day. I feel you should always take yo time and just go all out. Why? Because if you something goes wrong and a baby pops up.. Now you gotta spend 18 plus years raising something that took 3 minutes to make. I feel like some one was getting the short end of sex and started making up terms to justify as to why they were getting what they was getting. Its all a mental thing, just like everything else people gas up. O well.. What you think? Peaaaaace! @EDotDizzy {twitter flow}

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