Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Venting.

I normally try to keep my personal life to myself. I don't like venting because it seems like no one has answers but I'm a just post some of my thoughts and see what y'all think. Idk. If you relate.. Comment...

Sometimes I wake up feeling okay then sometimes I wake up like what the fuck is the plan today? Filling out billions of applications and submitting this saaame fucking resume only to hear "we will be in touch." No the fuck you won't, who you think you fooling with that line? Then I got my music and I know I'm hot and I know I have what it takes to "make it" but in the back of my mind I know that shit ain't promised. So many fucking folks who produce, rap, sing, blah blah blah.. When do I stop "dreaming" and face reality that it just might not happen. Every time I put my head down in my hands from frustration, I see the stop sign on my forearm that reads "Never Stop Dreamin."

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a grown up. I wish my mom slapped me every time I said that. No one told me that life was fucked up lol. No one warned me of all the problems and worries that comes along with being an "adult." Shit slowly but surely caught up to my ass and hit me like a fucking freight train and I was looking around like daaamn, why wasn't I warned about this? I seen my mom stressed and depressed at times growing up but she never told me what was wrong.. She made things work for the better and that's what lets me know that I'll be aight if I just work hard at it but.. Damn, I would have liked a warning that life is a bitch! I heard that growing up but shit, I didn't give a fuck cause I ain't know what they meant. The only time life was a bitch for me growing up was when I couldn't go outside and play with my friends.

Life always throw certain shit at you just to see how you handle it and if it breaks you, it breaks you.. If it makes you stronger then you get stronger.. My only problem is, I always think about why shit happened the way it did rather I'm stronger or weaker. That's one of my faults but no matter how much i try to change it.. I think about it. I want nothing but to live comfortably with a woman who can keep me smiling. I want to write and make music that uplift spirits and to let them know simply, you aren't alone. I don't need the gliss and glamour, I never been a show off mainly because I never had shit so I know how to appreciate shit that I do get. I learned that some moves I make will not be liked by certain people and that's only acceptable because, hell, that's life. People won't always like the things you do but if it makes sense at the end of the day, they will respect you for it. If not you can't do nothing but keep it moving.

I'm not going crazy, my mind just racing. Its more venting just didn't want yall to think I'm on some other shit. But yall feel where I'm coming from though? Aw fuck it. Niggas never want to admit that life ain't going the way they want.. I've realized that haha. O wells. I'm alone with this one. Peaace!

13 comments:

Rai April 22, 2009 at 7:07 PM  

I can totally relate.
I feel like life is "testing" me... not sure if I like it. =/

Free to be ME April 22, 2009 at 7:13 PM  

I`ll gladly admit that life isn`t going the way I want it to! I know that I have the potential to be someone great or at least be someone who helps others, but I have no clue what I want to do with my life. & I feel like life is always throwing me curve balls & though I have no choice but to learn from them I need a breather every once in a while.. SMH.. && I feel like I`ve become a diff. person, like I`ve become someone I`m not.. Just so dissatisfied with the way things are.. So in a way, though our situations are diff., I def understand =\

SUPRSHAZ. April 22, 2009 at 8:18 PM  

you make me not want to turn 21 =\

Charlei April 22, 2009 at 8:33 PM  

if i could throw this bottle of water at you, trust mee! i would.

i feel the same way on the life tip even though im 18 haha. but still. i've alwayyyys repeated that shit "mann i can't wait till im older imma get the fuck outta here" now, smh. i will not confess! aha but.. life has its.. or for the religious people god has his way of taking control of your life. and it's that whole "tell god what you have planned and watch him laugh" thing that i for one, wish i never heard and wish i never understood.

see when you're a child you see hardtimes, but often it isn't the "hardtimes" you live through. it's seeing your parents or your guardians hardships of trying to raise you. i've always heard that being a grown up is hard, but i speak vaguely* on these steps.

sometimes, it will be hard, but there are also moments where you can't stop laughing that make life worth it. now getting by? i..as you said cannot answer it.

you go crazy, but the best part to do is to never give up because you never know. you have a lot to be thankful for as they all say. count your blessings!

Jennifer April 22, 2009 at 8:52 PM  

sometimes you just have to vent.. my pops always told me that life stank, so when i was growing up if things didnt go right or something happened for whatever reason i knew it was because life stank. and i need to get over it. things are tough and i feel they are going to get tougher, and its only right that we do as well. I feel the more we believe in our dreams and our selves the better chance we have at accomplishing those dreams

Nicole.king38 April 22, 2009 at 9:17 PM  

I feel the same way all the time but I just remeber people tellin me 'if he brought you to it he will bring you through it!' I trust me it be days where I be like fuck I'm not gonna try today but give in and just try harder. Don't give up, don't give in, give more!

Love it DizZ!!!!

*NikkiLeggs ... Better with time*

.dsade. April 22, 2009 at 9:38 PM  

naaah i know exactly what you mean. you are not alone on this one! when i look back i often question myself like wtf was i in such a rush to grow up,and now im like damn. i always wonder why siht happens,whether it be for thee good or the bad.

♪ ♪ Fř£Sh pŘîNÇëSš™ April 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM  

dont stop. the world needs more dreamers. i think theres a reason u look at that tat everytime u hang your head in despair. I feel wat u sayin about findin a job im goin thru that same shit && its so irritating like it jus tires u out physically and mentally doin all them apps and gettin nowhere...
just try 2 keep yur head up bcuz struggling is jus part of life. Real artist never stop theyre craft no matter how hard things seem. we all have different problems as performers, and wen im sad or feel low i just say 2 myself "wen u hit rockbottom theres nowhere 2 go but up"..so stay optimistic. God has funny ways of working things out.

Bruski April 23, 2009 at 6:36 AM  

Dont give up DIzz! just try to look on the bright side of life and if you cant then polish the dull side! lol but alot of ppl are going thru it with this bitch called life! just be thankful for things you have and keep dreamin and stay focus cuz theres a better tomorrow!

JaG April 23, 2009 at 7:41 AM  

Dizzy i feel ya all the way bruh everything you said just now is my life... and if you've ever read anything i wrote you probably know that... being from nap you know about louisville... thats where im from... anyway bruh if you go back and read your post you'll see what you ask for is what you got... now the monetary value i think is what you missing, which is the same my way you have enuff fame enuff followers and you are respected enuff that you know ur good... continue the movement...

Tha BossMack TopSoil April 23, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

Stay On Tha Grind!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© April 23, 2009 at 10:20 PM  

Your not alone, I think your going through one of the awkward period everyone goes through in life but no one can really explain to you its just something you have to get through and at the end you will hopefully come out stronger ;)

Jasmine Nicole April 23, 2009 at 10:20 PM  

"The only time life was a bitch for me growing up was when I couldn't go outside and play with my friends. "

lol, true shit .
Being a kid was lovely then again even kids have crazy lives to live.

keep your head up !

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