Thursday, March 10, 2011

When it all falls down..

The thing is you know you should have been walked away. You ignored the signs and got comfortable. Every time you got that gut feeling to walk away you ignored it thinking this time would be different from the last. You fed into the lies, the countless nights you lay in bed alone wondering why you are alone; you wake up wishing it was all a dream. You hung on to the good days as you cried wondering how someone could not love you as much as you loved them. The time passed so fast, 1 week turned to 2 months which turned into years. Now you feel you have come too far to start all over with someone else. You have invested too much time, too many tears, too much money to just walk away. When you close your eyes you see you and this person together, happy, smiling, and in love. You did all that you could to make this work. If you walk away now, what would that say about you? You love this person, are you giving up too soon? How soon is too soon? Is it worth starting all over? Will you be alone? Question is why do you feel alone while you’re with someone? Question is, how many excuses have you made for this person? You could see other people but then you a just get mad at yourself and the other person like, why can’t you give me the kind of attention this new person is giving me. You know me better this stranger and yet you treat what we have like it’s nothing. You treat me like I’m nothing. You know about my ex’s and why it didn’t work with them and yet you turned around and did the same thing. But.. Who can you be mad at? You can’t be mad at the person you dealing with because you could have been walked away. You could have been ended all the madness, all the uncertainty, all the questions, all of the let downs, and all of the bullshit. But, you didn’t. So you can only be mad at yourself when it all falls down. This person has been the same since you met them. You just built this person up in your head to be everything you ever wanted in a lover and as the time passed; you realize that it’s all false. That you set yourself up to be let down. -Dizzy

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