Wednesday, March 18, 2009

-Untittled- the confession

I never meant things to end up like this. I mean, I love you. We are a couple.. Maybe we just a couple of kids who was tired of being single and wanted someone there for a change. Maybe we are a couple of kids who are really meant to be. Who knows?? Well I have a confession, I cheated. But let me explain please.

When we first got together I seen a common goal, I seen the big picture. It was me and you and I seen where we was going. We had a common ground. It was soo refreshing to have you by my side and there for me. We use to do everything together. The connection was just better. Then one day the beautiful image I had of us got fuzzy. It’s almost like watching a rose die. I know that the rose use to be a beautiful flower and as it dies, I have the pedals on the floor but the memory of it being beautiful still lives in my head. So when I hinted to you that things were changing, you brushed me off as if I was making it up so my efforts to bring the connection back were going unnoticed because you had it in your head that we were fine.

I kind of feel like once you got me you slowly started to fall back. You got comfortable basically. So when I met “the other woman” she did things that you use to do but stopped. It was honestly nothing at first till we started talking all the time. We laughed at shit me and you use to laugh at. We talked about things you and I use to talk about and it was refreshing. I would never just cheat to sleep with someone, it wasn’t about that. When I meet women in my mind I always see us, what we planned, and the big picture but when I met her and tried to picture us, it was fuzzy. It was unclear. That picture always kept me from doing anything but now that the picture is fuzzy, I have no block.

She and I reminded me so much of us and I couldn’t resist it. It’s like the rose was coming back to life in a way. She kissed me with the same passion you use to kiss me with. She took control just like you use to do when we first made love. When I slid inside her she gasped just like you use to do. She scratched my back and moaned my name just like you did. She sucked my dick and loved it just like you use to do. I tasted her forbidden fruit and she grabbed my head and moaned just like you use to do. After we did what we did I went into the bathroom to get myself together. I looked into the mirror and tried to see the picture of us and I still seen a fuzzy picture. I wanted us back and I couldn’t seem to reach out to you to get you to understand. Is what I did wrong, yeah but do I feel guilty, no. I tried to get back what we had, I attempted to and you were absent. I didn’t “cheat” you did. You got me then fell back and comfortable it seems like, that’s not playing fair. I don’t know if you will forgive me and right now I don’t know if I want you to… Ttyl. Peace.


Yung Rutt Da Prince March 18, 2009 at 12:00 PM  

wow bruh...this is a deep blog. it's not fair that ur efforts were in vain because of someone else slacking on the other end. I know u ain't trippin about it but damn...tht's all I can say honestly

JaG March 18, 2009 at 1:23 PM  

you just wasnt satisfied bruh and what you thought she was she wasn't... The fuzziness of the big picture was your thoughts spinning and trying to input the new womans face in the old spot but the picture was different. The hard part is keeping the new one from get to comfortable so it dont happen again that's "The Man's Dilima"... good blog dizzy!

*E* March 18, 2009 at 1:24 PM  

Is this a fictional story? I seem to not be able to tell.

LaiParis March 18, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

that was intense

i love your blog love

Brittani Bella March 18, 2009 at 4:23 PM  

It keeps my attention from beginning to end.
Im drawn to your every word.
I can picture everything.
My favorite..

Don't let anyone get in the way of your feelings.
Everything happens for a reason.
Clarification was needed.

bella word March 18, 2009 at 9:13 PM  

wow that was such a deep post.

LundiChantal March 19, 2009 at 4:52 PM  

well...i feel if you cheat on someone and it is something physical then it can be mendable..but if emotions are tied in then its a totally different situation. That means that there is a whole lot wrong or it's not meant to be...but i feel you tried and she didn't listen so i mean what does she expect it would be oh so different if you were out just cheating on some other shit and she didn't know you weren't happy...but again you tried and she payed you no attentiona and brushed it off so she put this on her. That's on her.

HEARTBREAK Sound March 19, 2009 at 7:33 PM  

wow this is deep. but I love it.

your writing skills are amazing =)

tianamonique--* March 19, 2009 at 11:49 PM  

well fuckk.
goooood post.

i wonder how many guys cheat for that reason...

hm very good.

Rich2021 March 20, 2009 at 1:34 PM  

that was deep

theresa stacey March 20, 2009 at 2:39 PM  

Your blog is deep forreal, had to subscribe, much love.

Beautiful Q March 20, 2009 at 11:39 PM  

This was hot DizZ. A lot of people do get too comfortable once they get into a relationship. I feel like you should step your game up more than you did in the dating phase.

Fave line: "I didn’t “cheat” you did."

Super Woman March 22, 2009 at 7:28 PM  

Dizzy this reminds me of a song called "Live water" by Mickey factz

DONT BE A HATER!!! I want you to listen to it. Imma ask you what your thoughts on it was because i wanna know!

Super Woman March 22, 2009 at 7:31 PM  

soryy i just thought of the ending....WHOAAA did you say "and im not sure if I WANT YOU TO"?


shatara April 15, 2009 at 7:45 PM  

wow freakin loved it..deep

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