Thursday, April 30, 2009

Getting the hint.. Need opinions.

Never been a big fan of "dating" for the simple fact it requires you to make yourself vulnerable to another person. Putting my heart in someone else hands never really sat well with me. Seems like the person you want to be with the most is the person giving you the most bullshit. I just have trust issues. People lie or they withhold information from you which is a form of lying in my opinion. If you aren't honest 100% then you really can't expect someone to be 100% with you. Just is what it is. I haven't dated in a long time so maybe I just expect shit to be easier then it really is. So can someone tell me who dates when do you decide if your wasting your time or not? When do you finally say, wait, I'm making a fool out of myself?

One thing that I see happening is that people EXPECT the other person to just know how they feel but they never say it. For example, 2 people been kicking it for a minute and the girl wants things to go to the next level but never says anything. Never voices her feelings to the guy so she in turn thinks the guy is bullshitting when he doesn't make it official. We not talking about that. We're talking about someone clearly voicing their feelings to the other person and getting no kind of response. It sucks from a guys stand point because when a guy likes a woman, he likes her. He stops talking to other females like that. Which is the hardest part of it all. Leaving behind other females for another female.. Trust me I know.

On the outside looking in, you can always tell if someone else is being played or strung along but from the inside looking out, it ain't that clear. I'm starting to think that the whole putting your trust into someone shit is over rated. Why can't people be honest and why can't people accept the truth? Just tell the person if you don't fuck with em like that.

My question still remains, when do you finally get the hint that you should just move the hell on? Comment and let me know.

12 comments:

Qu33n Kam... April 30, 2009 at 9:35 AM  

I guess you move on when you finally hear the persons intentions with you and if they dont agree with wat you want then you have from that moment to figure if you wana stay or leave.

People always get the signs if someone wants them or not ppl just dont look at the signs, dating can be easy but ppl try to force shit that dont work from the beginnin. If ppl know wat they want and express it then it shudnt be a problem when you realize this person isnt matching wat you want its no longer their fault if you stay its urs becuz u know wat you want and you know they dont match it.

&& as far as I know majority of ppl who date mostly women, meet a guy and want things to eventually go further just know that right off the top and if u are unsure ask the girl. && girls may feel that they dont wana say something becuz i know from experience they feel if they bring up the "relationship" word to soon with out him initiating it the guy will get scared and run for cover and start acting differently becuz alot of young guys are scared of comitment. Another reason is becuz ppl pay more attn. to ppl that act like they dont want them which is stupid but true.

But i feel if you dont open ur mouth ur just wastin ur time. && if he/she does get scared of the relationship word after putting so much effort into them for so long then you dont need to be with them in the first place & thats when u move on. So if ur just trying to fuck sumone just say i just wana fuck if u see potential in sumone then say that don't lead anyone on then ppls time wont be wasted and ppls heart wont be broken.

Chanel April 30, 2009 at 9:49 AM  

It's a lil too early to get all deep on me like this, damn. lol. But i'll give it a shot.

So my thing is when you're dating someone, there's little to no room for fuck ups. Dating is casual. Dating is temporary. Dating should be enjoyable. If it stops being enjoyable, its time to tell someone to kick rocks and move on. No time for the BS if you're only in it for a few nice wkend dates and some good ass.

BUT if you find yourself dating someone that you see something special in, and you start feeling as if this could be something deeper, it's time to have that talk...with yourself FIRST. Figure out exactly what you see in her and make sure its genuine. Then you talk to her. See where her head is. If yall claim to be in the same place, great. Progress forward together. The deeper it gets, the more you open up. The more you open the more you trust. And if you just so happen to fall in love, that window of forgiveness becomes a lot larger than when you were only dating. Once you've committed yourself to someone & if you really want to maintain, you gotta learn the art of working through the bullshit instead of bailing out at 1st signs of trouble. Of course this doesnt mean you or the other person gets a free pass to be an asshole and do whatever u wanna do. It just means that mistakes will happen. And if you're meant to be with each other, you'll keep the fuck ups down to a minimum, but the ones that slip by have to be fought threw, worked on and resolved.

Does this make any sense at all?

Young woman on a journey April 30, 2009 at 10:27 AM  

I can't answer your question cause i don't know myself. but the example you gave of the girl wanting more and never saying anything is something i can relate to. i used to stay mad at guys, or just stop talking to them cause i was frustrated about not getting to that next step, without even explicitly voicing it. now that i look back on it, it was really stupid and i wish i could apologize to a couple of people about it.

i guess its all a case of maturity and knowing what you really want. its only when you have those two things that you can be 100% with yourself and 100% with your partner. i'm still trying to figure out the later myself so...i have no advice on when the cut off moments are.

rio tapatio April 30, 2009 at 10:47 AM  

The less contact a female makes with you...There's a strong likelihood if she isn't hitting you up like she used to...it doesn't mean as much to her anymore.

Hippoleetoe April 30, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

Think its when it gets to that level where you feel like you're doing way more work in trying to make you guys work out !

Females sometimes keep a guy around for those days her "real #1" is busy or she's bored .. and if she only seems into you one day and ignores you for awhile you're probably that other one
GL

Beautiful Q April 30, 2009 at 1:17 PM  

U have to experience the sticking around at least one time and seeing that you never move to the next level. That way you'll learn from your mistakes. I've done that before, stuck around and wanted to be with him but after so long I just left and when he asked me why and told him...come to find out he wanted the same thing! By then it was to late on my end..i was tired. Nowadays, I get the hint becuz I ask...where is this going?

Tha BossMack TopSoil April 30, 2009 at 2:54 PM  

Young Diz it is what it is. A Real Bitch will let you know where you stand with a quickness. A faulty Bitch is gonna bullshit you, perhaps because she thinks you are thursty.

Don't let tha Sunshine fool ya, it's freezing outside.

Never fire otha bitches for and uncertain bitch, wait till you get a verbal contract, then fire erybody.

Monica April 30, 2009 at 3:05 PM  

You move on when you hear the persons' intentions for the relationship. Sometimes its even a given. Before I started dating my current boyfriend, we would hang out and he made his intentions clear. Although sometimes when people make their intentions known, they could be lying, I have never had that happen to me, but you just have to use good judgement as well.

I have a friend that seems to always get placed in bad relationships with her partner always ending up cheating on her. She has poor judge of character on top of the fact that she doesn't know what she wants.

Have you asked yourself what is it you want? I find that if I can't get along with someone on a friendship level or communicate - its not worth wasting my time. I'm usually straight up in a relationship, if I feel like there are problems I will address them right away. I know my boyfriend isn't perfect and neither am I. There are always things that an individual needs to work on.

Politically Correct April 30, 2009 at 4:19 PM  

I agree that omissions are betrayal. If you're not willing to completely share yourself with another person then I don't think you should be playing with their emotions. What I most commonly see, and what I've had alot of experience with, is people who ignore the signs and information they're given. For example- If I run into a guy who tells me that he's just gotten out of a serious relationship and he's just looking for someone to kick it with I immediately take him off my radar. We can chat online, talk on the phone and all that but off rip I can't even fuck with him on anything but a platonic level. I never understand how men and women alike run into people who told them they weren't looking for anything serious but then in turn expect something serious. Or even worse, and most men I know are guilty of this, they'll claim they don't want to be with you but at the same time they're spending every waking moment with you, dropping paychecks on you and fucking the shit outta you. I don't know how they do it in the south but that sounds like a relationship to me. I know many people are scared of titles and "dating" but if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck I'm gonna call it just that. It all boils down to people saying what they mean and truly meaning what they say. Don't be afraid to ask the awkward Q's like "what the fuck are we doing?!" if things seem confusing or start to go stagnant. And once a person has told you what time it is, don't be afraid to make moves if it's not what you're looking for. Never make the mistake of waiting for a relationship to conform to what you want it to be. People will only do to you what you let them do and if you put yourself in a position to be played you will be-guaranteed.

E Dot DizZy April 30, 2009 at 5:13 PM  

Good advice from everyone. I think i'm going to do a few discussion boards on my blog. Stay tuned.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© April 30, 2009 at 5:49 PM  

I think you just feel it inside and if you feel it isn't worth it to you anymore, more on ;)

...mine is like the shortest lol

Taylorgotbeats May 1, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

dating.. good/bad
nice post
feelin the new banner
pushin up on 300 follows I see

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