Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Honey Moon Stage... BLAAAH

When you first get with someone you have this floating feeling that you finally found someone that can tolerate you. That makes you happy, makes you get butterflies. Y'all spend everyday together, y'all text one another all day talking about the last time y'all was together and the next time y'all gone be together. Y'all sit and talk about the future and kiss and all that shit. I believe that 90% of the people who feel like this at first are in a "Honey Moon Stage". A stage where you and your partner are in complete bliss. Certain shit NEVER come up when you're "getting to know someone." I put that in quotations because when you get to know someone, you really just figure out if their crazy and if y'all have a few things in common. Its never in depth. Well, almost never. The honey moon stage can last anywhere from a day to 3 or 4 months, maybe even longer. We be sooooooo caught up in the fact we finally got someone that we do nothing but try to please that person, to the MAX!! You avoid ANY arguments, any conversation that might end sour you avoid.. You don't hang with ya friends as much if at all anymore. Ya whole world stops.... and revolves around this person.. ... .... ..

Then it goes away for one of the partners. They start getting more distant, seem less interested, start getting an attitude for no reason. The honey moon stage is now over and this person now feels suffocated and don't care to be around you as much lol. Now this is when y'all really get to know one another. This is when the HONEST truth comes out. Ya ll have start having REAL conversations about certain shit including life, kids, religion, beliefs, future, expectations. If y'all last after this, y'all will be together for a long time.. If not.. Kiss the relationship goodbye. You start thinking "ew, what the fuck was I thinking" or "You gotta be the dumbest fucker I've ever met" or they seem less attractive..

I have come to the conclusion that I won't date a female during the whole honey moon stage. Just "deal" with them while we are in the honey moon stage. A lot of people don't share my views on life and all that. I'm usually looked at with a raised eyebrow when I speak my mind on certain shit. Often called an ass when I give my honest opinion. So its like I wait for them to finally see me for me. Then I wanna see if I still find them attractive. A lot of the time females I talk to get very funny looking after a certain period of time. My sister told me they've always looked funny, and that I just be over looking it. Then after I spend like a week or two with a female I start seeing EXACTLY who she is. You never know someone till you live with them, my mom told me that. She was correct.. Soon as we have our first argument, that's when I know its over and that's when it gets real. Might seem crazy and dumb but its weeded A LOT of females out. Try it

If you are dating someone, you can't add the honey moon stage into the time y'all have been together. When someone asks how long y'all been together, subtract that honey moon stage. Or if someone ask how long was ya longest relationship, subtract the honey moon stage and subtract the time you was actually thinking about breaking up with the person. You probably left with like a week or two. I mean, these are just my thoughts but I bet you start realizing some shit. lol. Stop being so damn thirsty and actually get to know someone.. IN DEPTH.. Stop this spot dating. If you get a boyfriend or girlfriend before you have sex, and you have a lot of boy friends and girlfriends over a short period of time.. You are not better then everyone else. It's still premarital sex. That was random but.. VERY important. Peaacee!!

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11 comments:

avery_s July 30, 2009 at 12:46 AM  

omgosh hahah damnnnnn someone on the same page as me well if not kinda sorta... smh see u put that whole "honey moon stage" in words that couldn't smh... but yea i feel yea completely...

i'm sure u know me enough to know a "relationship" that i was in and honesty me and dude never was in a relationship we never committed to that bf/gf title...hell we even lived together and can i say he doesnt leave toothpaste in the sink lol...

but yea real talk when u take the approach of having a relationship outside of the honey moon stage is quite a different view it may be negative for most but mines was straight a positive experience its like the whole thing was 100 at all times we never argued or what not we got through all the bs just by skipping that stage and getting to what is real and what we were about...hell we even establish what we wanted and what we were to each other just because we didnt fill in the blank with butterflies and lilies lol

kudos E

Ace July 30, 2009 at 12:51 AM  

Dizzy,

Haaaa! Damn, if you aint hit the nail on the head! That's why I don't understand when I tell a girl I'm still in the "crushing" phase after a month or two how she get upset. THEN AFTER THAT? ALL hell breaks loose. Just wanna get hitched quick, like DUDE - I don't even KNOW you. You don't know me? But whaaa ? You whaaa? You LOVE ME. Booohoo kitty.

I'm with you on this. I'll be as much of an asshole, coldhearted, [other insults here] as you want me to be. Shuuu. - I'm cool sweetie, loose my EVERYTHING.

Good pt. People need to listen|read up!

-Ace

jaeluhulongtime July 30, 2009 at 12:57 AM  

i LUH the term "honey moon stage." never heard it before lol..anyway....

i believe that the honey moon stage is the time frame when everything is fun and there are no worries or problems, and that is not reality in real relationships. everyone has some type of problems in a relationship.

a relationship should not have a title put on it during the honey moon stage. you can actually define a relationship AFTER the first disagreement, and IF the couple actually makes it through that hurdle.

all gifts look beautiful when they're wrapped up. but the REAL happiness is whether what's in the wrapping is what u really want. it takes a minute to unwrap a gift. just like it takes a minute to unwrap the facade that EVERYONE puts up the first time they meet someone. BUT sometimes that gets tricky because gifts sometimes get boring and end up being thrown away or ignored. developing a relationship takes time. that's what ppl need to understand.

enjoy the honey moon stage, but dont DWELL in it... that's how ppl get their feelings hurt.

-Jae

♥Porscha July 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM  

i dont know sometimes during this stage you can have deep reveleating conversation but that it is far and few in between I really do advocate just "talking" to somebody for a period before you actually jump into a relationship. I never was the type to just hop be with a guy after 2 weeks, I always wanted to hang out, have conversations with these person before I got with them so I agree w/the honeymoon phase it doesnt really show the REAL side of a relationship and most of these relationships girls claim they were in were honey moon stage and after it, they broke up.. so they wasn't nothin to begin with..

Brittany July 30, 2009 at 11:16 AM  

wowww you're very good at putting thoughts into words because this is VERY true and ive experienced this plentyy of times

Truthful Trish July 30, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

The honeymoon stage is the best stage, then everything pretty much goes downhill in my opinion..damn i miss the honeymoon stage,,but its just like a honeymoon nothing last forever :(

ABC July 30, 2009 at 2:24 PM  

If people take your advice about not dating during the honeymoon phase, it'll last much longer. But some people just wanna fuck, so it doesn't matter. I totally agree, why start dating right off the bat, you gotta get to know them as friends/homies first, because if he or she isn't cool enough to be around your friends, it won't last.

Qu33n Kam... July 30, 2009 at 5:56 PM  

i agree ppl do tend to jump in relationships before they really know the person myself included and i think thats one of my problems also ignoring signs they give u. ppl give u signs of who they really are unless they are good ctors but ppl genereally ignore them. Its that one time that person did sumthin that made u like wtf? but u ignored it cuz u felt it was a minute thing and didnt wana blow it into a big situation, later to find out that very thing will soon hsppen all the time and that will be the reason u break up.

I really like what u said bout stop spot dating because its really not that important to be with someone, im learning that day by day. Im so used to having someone around but being alone is prolly the best times of urlife and everyone shud want to be 100% free within themselves b4 they get with sumone. i also feel ppl shud be more honest about who they are and not let this person feel u are 1 way when ur really another way that person shud be making u fel urself all the time and those are the guys i oay more attn 2 the ones who make me feel comfortable enuff 2 be me the same way im with my family and friends. things shudnt be forced and alot of ppl force relationships... but im starting to write a blog post in ur comments so ima stop lolz good post tho dizzy

Telly July 30, 2009 at 7:10 PM  

damn this is deep. but omg so true. love the idea of waiting until the honeymoon phase ends to actually start dating and labeling it as "a relationship" bc most of the time after the honeymoon phase is over, and you want to end it anyway. @ least this way u had ur fun and u can keep it moving. i looove this post. can't wait for the next.

The Virgin Queen: YonAndrogynous July 31, 2009 at 1:06 PM  

The reason why a lot of relationships go sour. You call it the "honeymoon stage" whereas I've dubbed it the lust factor. I disagree with claiming someone through that trial period, because you're settling. I agree with you on dealing with the person until you can the right visual of their whole being meaning physical, mental, social, and spiritual belief. It take time to feel like you have "the one". Nowadays people are so sick of being alone that they just dive off the clift to snatch what they misconstrue as the one..just saying.

Maymuna August 1, 2009 at 5:40 AM  

Omg i loved this. When I read this started thinking about my relationshios and whenever there was the "honeymoon stage" & I'm starting not to date anyone till i really really get to know them.So i can know what the hell i'm getting myself into. Good stuff :)

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