Tuesday, February 17, 2009

When is enough.. enough?

You love me, I like you. You admire me, I admire you. You believe in me, I believe in you. You trust me, I trust... I trusted you. But, you love me, I like you.. Why is it that the love and like part stick out so much more then everything else? You want to be with me, okay, I understand that. I'm flattered you want to be with me so soon. But, I don't want to be with you, not right now. See, you look in the mirror and see a beautiful person who is complete and damn there perfect. I look at the same reflection and see a person who is emotionally incomplete. A person who needs to love thyself and be happy with thyself before I can come along and be with you. I see a broken smile and a semi patched heart. I see insecurities.. Not making you out to be a bad person because that is not the case but, I can't be with a person like that. I mean, here it is, you don't know anything about me.. You know how I know you don't know anything about me? Because I haven't told you anything about me!!! So here it is, 4 months of knowing one another and you want to be together..

You love me. YOU LOVE ME.. I don't and can't love that easily but... I had to be doing something right for you to love me correct? I had to do something right for you to trust me correct? For you to smile when you hear my name right? So why isn't what we have enough? Why isn't it enough until i finally let you get to know me? Until I can smile when i hear your name or when i fully trust you? Why isn't what we have good enough for you? I mean, who's to say the way you view me, is the way I view you? I mean, I only will make you my girl friend when I feel like i can be with your forever. But you can't wait for me? How selfish is that of you? That you want what YOU want when YOU want it when it comes to US. That don't make sense to me. So sense I'm not ready to date you, I'm the bad guy? That's why I wrote you this love letter.. Saying bye. Your giving me an ultimatum of making you my girl or lose you and I think that's selfish and true colors was shown. I'm just not ready.

P.S. Have you felt like this?


Na.o.mie February 18, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

Bump how you feel, forget if you're moving too fast, who cares if the friendship isn't strong enough to take it to the relationship level. That's the thing people always want what THEY want when THEY want it. Never looking at if they'll be happy tomorrow, just thinking about today.

I've been in the same situation, the roles reversed. Didn't have the courage to break it off early enough tho. Things would be different if I did.

Anyways good post.

p[L]e[0]a[V]c[E] . February 18, 2009 at 7:35 AM  

umm ,
l0ve -- s0 many things i have t0 tell y0u . .

afraid ?

Nicole.king38 February 18, 2009 at 9:14 AM  

I've been in that boat. Once was enough for me. It wasn't love but Damn it! It was gettin there and gettin there kinda fast. My thing was 'we act like a couple. Do couple things. So why not stop actin a be a couple?' His response? No. It wasn't 'you don't know shit about me.' Its wasn't 'I don't know shit about you.' His response was 'I'm too busy.' I'm too busy? Too busy to be a couple but not too busy to act like a couple. The only thing that was missin was the title but I learned later that that was the real problem. I didn't... I couldn't stay and let my heart continue to stay in it the way it was because it would have been heartache in the end.

Great note DizZ!!! You know I love it!


A{dot}Shine February 18, 2009 at 9:25 AM  

You can't force yourself to be with someone. But if the reason you don't want her is somethin small you can get over it. You CAN open up but you CAN'T trust her. So you gotta do what's best for you. Even if it does hurt someone. And you know first hand I've been in that situation lol sometimes the other person in the so called relationship just don't get that there is no chemistry and that you don't click. Ok don't wanna write a cool good blog e dot dizzy :-)

Yung Rutt Da Prince February 18, 2009 at 9:26 AM  

bruh u should trust ur instincts...if ur feeling whoever she is then go ahead with it. I know that sometimes people get selfish but if this person makes u happy then why the hell not. I know ur not one who is easily swayed but u should think about this one hard. is it really worth calling it quits?

JuJu February 18, 2009 at 9:29 AM  

stick to how you feel Dizzy - that's what matters. Some girls are in love with the idea of being in love and are ready to give their heart out to the first guy they think is deserving of it; that doesn't mean you have to do the same. and any girl who is giving you an ultimatum doesn't really love you in the first place.. she just wants you.. i would def be cautious tho becus of the fact you say you havent told her much abt you; but she trust you and loves you so dearly. ask her WHY does she love you? maybe she is just caught up with the idea of wanting to be loved and in love..

Anonymous February 18, 2009 at 10:05 AM  

what i want to know is... how do you let yourself love someone who you know doesn't love you back? fuck this girl. sounds to me like it's a "she doesn't love me, she loves love" situations. she doesn't see you, she sees a prospect. it doesn't matter to her who you are, just as long as she can have you. basically, fuck that ho.

Anonymous February 18, 2009 at 10:24 AM  

good topic...some women misread signals given by the men. Like Nicole said, some men will do everything that involves being in a relationship except the title. I guess the title = commitment. Some men fear that all freedom will be lost; they want to always have the freedom to date or have sex with whomever they please. With the title, that kind of freedom can be lost. But if a woman is in love with you, she'll still be hurt regardless of title or not. She may be good at hiding it, but that ish stings. As long as there's open communication and understanding, then you should be able to have as many females friends as you want (that's another topic). Now by all means, do not misread this as rushing into anything. Relationships are a two way street where everything is reciprocated. If you're too selfish to do that, then don't string the girl along. But if the fear of the title is the only thing holding you back, then just man up and try it. No relationship is perfect, so f-ups and arguments will probably happen. It's apart of the growing experience. But if you just not feeling her that much after 4 months, then I guess it's time to move on. Love is complicated anyway. If you do, then tell her to just let the experience marinate for a while. Things will fall in place as God sees it. But Juju has a point. Ask her why she loves you.

bree.bankz February 18, 2009 at 11:09 AM  

woo... where do i start hmmm. to be honest i WAS that female but my relationship with that person was wayyy lonqer. like yrs time. i saw somethinq in him that no one else saw but he just wouldnt let me in. you would think hey i been friends with u sooo lonq && we already established that the feelinqs are there. what are u waitinq on... but i finally realized i cant have him when i want him && qivinq him a choice to be with me or lose me as a friend && everythinq else would only push him away.

soo ya riqht that is beinq selfish && i realized i was only thinkinq bout my wants && not thinkinq bout how he feels bout the situation && not just jumpinq into a relationship... then end up not happy cuz thinqs happened too fast.

but we're still friends && thats it. it all comes down to communication. if you dont let the person know whats qoinq on then it only makes thinqs worst. soo the best thinq to do is tell the person how u feel.

also everyone has flaws, not every relationship is perfect. just have to have patience and be willinq to work out thinqs. if u feel this chic, qo for it. dont stop & think bout the bad & let that hold u back. cuz no one is perfect. ur qonna have ur ups & downs

Miss.Fortune February 18, 2009 at 4:25 PM  

im sittin here like..
man he must've read a few of my past blogs..

~*Miss Understood*~ February 18, 2009 at 4:29 PM  

I feel you..i've been in a similar situation. It was an all nothing situation. ie:My blog "LAZINESS". guess you can say he was impatient too! sucks though huh....especaily when the situation has great potential...


Jasmine Nicole February 18, 2009 at 8:38 PM  

i've been in the situation , too bad I didn't write a letter to end it before it got to deep .
and im currently in that situation but instead of 4 months ..try one day lol smh .

Anonymous February 19, 2009 at 9:26 PM  

uh. somethin like that. i was THAT girl though. lol. only i never gave ultimatums and i wasn't that aggressive about it. i just FELT like jumping the gun.

never again.

JAYFENDii February 20, 2009 at 10:42 PM  

I've def felt like that once before. recently actually. it's a touch situation. and im a softy.. sometimes i think i should just give in and make the other person happy. =/ even though we both may become hurt in the end.

briit February 21, 2009 at 8:22 PM  

i see myself in the girl you speak of. && i see my boyfriend's qualities in you too.

but i agree.
no ultimatium should be given
love should take time
&& should come from both ends.
it easy to say i love you
but it takes time to mean it.

Great Post

Kiwi February 22, 2009 at 3:08 PM  

you did it again...you wrote a blog about my life story!!!

I think I love you for this foreeal because this person you wrote the love letter for could of been me or is kindsme except instead of 4 months try a year and some months with this exact situation.

The girl is me and you woke me up because I feel sometimes I should give an ultimatium but then it's about waiting until he is on my same page and being selfish if I can't wait...

I really appreciate this blog I will be a dedicated reader from now on...thanks dizzy!

.asha February 22, 2009 at 8:27 PM  

Wowwwww 0_o ...talk about a different perspective! I've been in this situation one too many times, but the way you explain almost makes me understand...(that's a big "almost" haha).

Illest Star February 23, 2009 at 12:16 PM  

wow this is awesome
it's like that lauren hill song killing me softly
the person knows nothing of her
but sings how she feels
i so went through this
& you nailed it from every word.
so kudos

Tatianna March 13, 2009 at 6:43 PM  

Yes i have!!!

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