Monday, December 14, 2009

How to fall in love...

Shit came to me in a dream I swear.

Have you ever started liking someone you weren't suppose to be feeling? Like a friend of the family, someone over the net or something? You know you started liking someone and you KNEW you wasn't suppose to, I know I ain't the only one. Anyway, you wondered how you started liking them so much? I figured that shit out!

When we know somone like us or we like someone, some of us tend to start playing mental games. It may sometimes happen subconciously. I know some girls who play the "I don't want to seem too available or desperate so I won't text back right away or not answer his calls." I don't know what guys do because I don't date them so females when you comment list some shit dudes do when they "play games." We all have screenings for our potential lovers. For some of us its looks, for some of us its money, status, all the other silly shit that sometimes don't matter but hey, we do it. That inhabits us on finding someone we really "connect" with. You need a connection. You need to be able to lay the friendship foundation down first. If you meet someone and instantly like them, the friendship foundation won't be laid down. Why? Because you front for the person you trying to impress. You never let them see you with your guard down. You with hold information thinking they will judge you and look at you different. BUT!

When you can just be YOU, you let your guard down and things flow how they should. You are honest and open because you don't care what this person thinks of you in that department. Sex isn't pressed because y'all just friends and probebly fucking someone else. Ya mind is clear in the sex department. Girls let guys they aren't interested in see them with their house clothes on and shit. Hair all wrapped, cut up shirt, no make up, holy socks and shit. We don't let stupid shit get in the way like dates. You don't have to go on a date, don't have to do the movies and dinners. Y'all just friends so y'all kick it at the house and watch bootleggs or Fresh Prince and talk. Y'all eat home made dinners or peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. Y'all talk about past relationships and share honest sex stories. You aren't afraid to show emotional scars because you aren't trying to impress this person. You two talk about the people you are actually dating and low key size them up. After awhile you start thinking, man I can be with this person. I love them. They make me happy all the time. That's how it happens isn't it? Did I leave anything out?

When we like people I think we get into the dating hype. Following rules and guidelines and have no idea why and it fucks us up. Now a days I feel like people are dating strangers. You don't really know the person you kissing and spending all your time with. You are infact in love with their representative. Its a side of them you haven't seen because they know it a probably drive you away. How do we fix this? I don't think we can because the dating game is stuck in our brain. The ability to just keep it funky with someone you want to be with is scary to most of us. We have a fear of rejection so some of us naturally do these things to keep from being rejected. Hide some things about our past, hide some flaws, always try to be attractive to the person rather it be always wearing ya cute clothes and make up. Its a bunch of silly shit.

Learn to control it and I bet you find a better lover. I'm almost sure of it. What you think? Peaaace!


Adina RenĂ©e. December 14, 2009 at 5:37 PM  

mhm, we had this convo last night, you're a very smart man.

Desean December 14, 2009 at 5:45 PM  

soo many points have jumped at me & made me nodd my head , or like yeah ; thats so true !
even though i'm young , & still have a LONG wayy to go .
but i have seen it before where people have jumped into relationships & they JUST getting to know that person , matter of fact ; they've only known them for a week . & they jumped into something . now i'm not saying its possible for them to be in love , but you have to look at it like you said , you're kissing a stranger & you only see so much of what they LET you see . because if something pops off & you see a side of them thats like " WOAH ! " & you run off , they're gonna be hurt , because they expect YOU to be there no matter what .

so yeahh , you have A LOT of good VALID points !

Anonymous December 14, 2009 at 5:52 PM  

wow. you're real good!

December 14, 2009 at 6:21 PM  

oh my. that was really really true!

Supastarrr December 14, 2009 at 7:16 PM  

I agree, you hit the nail on the head.

Tori D. December 14, 2009 at 7:35 PM  

Loved this post, so much truth in it! When I read it I instantly thought about how I ended up falling for my best friend at one point & had to nod like "Yup, that's how it was!"

Nellie December 14, 2009 at 7:38 PM  

WOW! You hit this one right on the head! It makes sense... Most people don't notice it or they do and try not to admit it to themselves but smaeways, So very true! This made me realize a lot about my own life/friendships SMH, but I love your blog posts! Keep 'em coming!

Cee Frizzle December 14, 2009 at 7:40 PM  

Oh, my God.

It is so scary how true this is . . . seriously, it's fucking frightning! I dunno how you're able to do it. I really don't. But wow.

Ok so you're saying to just seriously be yourself. SERIOUSLY. And that's how we find the person who can truly fulfil the wants we WANT in this person who we want to take our breaths away?

Hm. Makes so much sense.

I'm sorry, its really weird how you can do that. Still freaks me out! Ugh! That's some Houdini shit!

xxxx December 14, 2009 at 8:06 PM  

Agreed. It's easy to fall for your friends because you reveal certain aspects of yourself and they do the same

VonDign December 14, 2009 at 9:04 PM  

true shit bruh. No matter in what capacity if a chick is girlfriend material there has to be that level of friendship there first. As long as thats there then you can get everything else to its full potential. Funny how its portrayed when someone puts it in words like that.


Anonymous December 14, 2009 at 11:46 PM  

Indeed true. I dated a guy who didn't tell me certain things from the jump, but used it as a means to test me.

Lauren S December 15, 2009 at 7:31 AM  

Crazy true, dude! The only time I ever fell in love was with someone when we had that friendship first. We could talk about anything and there was no pressure for us to do anything or date. We spent time together because we wanted to not, cuz we felt like we had to. That's truly the person one should love, your best friend.

I really appreciated this post, man :)

C i a . December 16, 2009 at 1:03 PM  

Wow . This made me smile , here I am scamming through any key points to help me with the way my boyfriend and I are falling. And I think I found some key pointers. Like this is stuff I knew before but totally forgot about because all I think about is if we're doing this whole relationship the right way. We have never been on a date, I live him but I'm not inlove with him and I actually have saw him when I was looking " rough" ( hair wrapped, mixmatch clothes, or when I had just woken up ) . But this was good, I hope I can use his when I talk to him because he isn't fully aware of any of this. I hope that made sense or was connected to this post!

Miss Daja December 19, 2009 at 1:08 PM  

it makes so much sense NOT to be true!

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