Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I hate relationships..

I hate dealing with someones emotions. I hate returning phone calls. I hate meeting parents. I hate opening up and starting over. I hate cooking for two. I hate sharing my bed. I hate paying for two at the movies. I hate hearing about friends and how they always let you down. I hate that I have to stop flirting. I hate the way you get real bitchy one week a month. I hate that you go through my phone. I hate being asked where im at, who im with and what I'm doing. I hate giving up my freedom. I hate all of that shit! But.. I love how you make me forget that I hate all that shit. I love how none of that matters when I'm with you. I love how everything I hate became everything I loved when dealing with you. -thafamousnobody 

Friday, July 23, 2010

So.. You Celibate?

I meet a lot of females that are celibate these days. I ask them why and the give me 1 of 2 reasons. A, they holding out until they get into a real relationship or B they doing it to be more spiritual. To get more in tuned with themselves because sex was a big distraction. Now the first reason, waiting on finding a partner I can understand and respect. Anything other then that reason is just silly to me. If you can't have sex because it distracts you from life then my friend you have a problem. If you just decide to not have sex I can respect that but don't make up a crazy ass reasons that make you look like you can't control the little man eater between your legs. I know that secretly some women don't have sex because they enjoy it way too much and want it more then they would like to admit. I don't want to offend the celibate females that read my rants because that's all they are. I know a female that said she was being celibate so she can be closer to God. If the guy dick was that good that it made you lose sight of God, maybe you should keep him around. I know if I had a girl who made me get out of touch with what I believe I am going to marry her. That's some powerful pussy. If sex distracts you from being you then what you gone do when you get married? Stop having sex for two months so you can regroup then pick it back up? Can a celibate female please tell me what's this all about. Please.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Kiss... and tell.

I never was the one to kiss and tell. I just thought it was tacky as hell. My ex kissed me and told everybody that wanted to listen. She had a group of friends she was once cool with and told them everything. They would always look me up and down when they seen me and smile. On some petty shit. Me and her broke up about a year ago, I thought that was the end of that.

I seen her friend Tasha at wal-mart, one of the friends that use to look me up and down. I instantly thought she was gone be on some bull shit because of the break up but she wasn't. "Hey boy, long time no see!" She reached for a hug and everything. I replied with I'm good and gave her a hug. She started walking with me and talking. We never had a conversation before so this was kind of weird but it was coming natural. She was cute and very funny. Finding a funny female these days was like finding a pot of gold! So we walking down the cereal aisle and she insisted we exchanged numbers. She pulled out her phone, I pulled out mine, we hugged again and parted ways.

A week went by before she actually hit me up. "Damn, was it something I said? Why haven't you hit me yet?" I read the text and instantly laughed. I could picture her saying it. We started texting back and forth till she insisted that I come over for tacos. I love tacos so I went. She stayed close, real close. I get there and she opens the door with a hug and a smile. She was so damn loving. I don't remember her being this way. Shit, if I remember correctly, she was the bitchy one. The apartment was really nice and smelled good. She had the stuff for the tacos all on the table with soft and hard shells. I loved it. We started eating while listening to oldies. A little bit of Marvin, little bit of Al Green, little bit Earth Wind and Fire.. I love a woman with good music taste. I ate about 6 Tacos, I didn't mean to eat that much but I was hungry. So we just sitting at the table talking and she brought up my ex. "When the last time you talked to ___?" I hate talking about my ex cause she gets on my nerves. "Shit, about 10 months. I don't talk to her at all." She nodded and asked me did I want some more Vodka and juice, I nodded yes. So a couple hours fly by and we just talking. She start talking about how she always thought I was cute and was always bitchy with me cause she was mad my ex wasn't keeping me happy like she was supposed to. Said the ex told her all about my dick game and it had her curious.. Then it started.

She got up and sat on my lap.. Then kissed me. I kissed her back because her lips was soft as hell PLUS... Who am I to turn her down? Kissing leads to touching, touching leads to grabbing. The shirts come off. I pick her up and take her to the couch where she took her pants off and unbuttoned mines. She looked good as hell in her vickies. She had the pink lace shit on which made me go crazy. I was also mad because all I had on was some gray hanes lol. So she started kissing on me and seeing how women rarely do this these days I fell in love with her instantly. I pushed her back and kissed all over her body. Taking my time because I wanted to admire her body low key. I took her bra off and panties. She was sexy as hell. I took my hanes off and she grabbed me and asked me for it. I pulled a condom out my pants pocket and gave it to her. It was sooooooooo good. I was deeper then I was supposed to because at first she was pushing me back then she got use to it and asked for it deeper. She got on top of me and started riding me and kissing me. That intimate shit. I'm not really a fan of it but again, I couldn't and didn't want to turn her down. I liked it. A lot. We had to be going for at least a hour. Just kissing on one another and fucking. It was the best I had had in a long ass time.

I woke up (mind you I don't remember falling asleep) and it smelled like food. I got up to find her cooking breakfast in the pink get up with her hair wrapped. She smiled "You were slobbing in your sleep. I didn't want to wake you." I hate slobbing in front of company! I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. It was just silent until she brought my plate out to the table. "___ was right, you are the best that I have had in a long time." I looked at her and she busted out laughing while walking back into the kitchen. I already knew my ex talked about me to her friends so this is not surprising just can't believe it would benefit me at the end lol. I didn't care, I finished eating and turned to iCarly, DIZZY! -@ThaFamousNobody (twitter)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

My dating requirements

So my home girl was telling me what she wanted in a man and the shit was just too fucking funny but she was SERIOUS. She had a real list of things that a dude HAD to have in order for her to talk to him. I thought to myself that maybe I was being foolish on just wanting a connection and to be attracted. So.. Here is my list.

1.) She has to weigh 155.5 pounds. I don't want her no smaller or bigger.
2.) has to be able to cook in 6 inch heels. (fantasy reasons)
3.) Her car and house MUST remain spotless at all times.
4.) Her voice has to be soft and angle like.. Like Fergie and Jesus combined.
5.) Her booty can't be too big and not too small. Don't want to draw attention.
6.) Has to have hair EXACTLY 2 inches past her ear.
7.) When she fart it has to smell like taco bell and pot roast with cinnamon.
8.) Has have been in a shoot out in broad day light. *IMPORTANT*
9.) she has to be able to roll a blunt and change a babies diaper at the same time.
10.) Has to recite the words to WHOOP THERE IT IS before we have sex.
11.) Can't have ANY PARENTS! Not trying to deal with bitchy mom or mean dad.
12.) Has to have a tattoo of thug life somewhere on her body.
12.) Her titties cant be sagged out. They have to be sitting up and paying attention.
13.) Have to know the words to FANCY and PROTOTYPE. If you don't know those songs...
14.) You have to be able to type and text at least 50 words a minute. late night texting reasons.
15.) Have to be able to run from police and jump high fences.. (Don't ask)
16.) Have to be able to recite the words to ATL.

I think that's all I want for right now. Lol. The shit don't make no kind of sense. Not one of those talk about connection, trust, anything! Hers didn't either so I guess I'm on the right track!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Lets talk about.. White girls

So I'm out with a friend of mine. Me and him just strolling round the city of Atlanta soaking up the sun. We stopped in this store and the lady was cute as hell. I liked her style. Her hair was in a sloppy pony tail but it was cute. Arms all tatted up. But.. She was white. I wanted to holla at her but I didn't know how. Why you ask? You holla at a white girl just like a black girl you say.. Wrong. Why is it different? Well all my life my mom has been saying "if she can't use a comb.. DON'T bring her home." I never knew what the hell that meant but basically she was saying don't bring a white girl home. So I just had to get it out my head on dating them. Now that I'm grown and don't give a shit, I want to holla! But it takes some time to get use to it.

The reason I don't believe that you talk to them the same way is because the same shit aint important to them. I'm talking real white girls by the way, not the ones who "act black." Like do I be extra polite, do I speak like I got a education? I be watching the movies and they always say "you want to grab some coffee?" First of all, I don't do coffee so I aint grabbing any but we can grab some apple juice and sit on the steps and just chat it up. Like, you have to find a nice ice breaker and a common ground and since I don't have any white home girls, I don't know what they like. I haven't been around them to learn them. Hell what if I try and talk to one and she a low key racist? Maybe I'm thinking about it too hard. I just feel weird when I come at em that way, like I'm not suppose to. Then if we do date, every time we go out all the black girls gone mean mug her and shit. Like they wanted my ass anyway. Disregard that last line. That was a angry line from deep down in the inside. The lady at the store said don't be afraid to talk to white girls. They don't bite. Am I the only one who feel a lil funny talking outside their race? I mean folks who are on the west coast don't answer. If you in NY don't answer. I'm talking about the midwest area and down south. Reason I say West coast is because.. Yall so diverse. and NY. Do black females feel funny talking to white guys? Maybe it is just me.

I'm sure a white guy would feel intimidated talking to a black girl for the first time. All the negative shit they see on tv about black women. He probably a be scared as hell. I also don't want to have the women in my family feel like they have failed with me because I dated outside the race. I honestly don't see a color, the world make me see a color. I think about too much stuff when I see an attractive white woman and it keeps me from approaching her. What should I do? Go up to her and be like "Ay, my name is Eric, whats yours? I aint ever did this but wanted to tell you I think you cute and would love to just have a conversation with you." She be like NIGGA PLEASE!!! hahaha aw man. Naw, fa real. Yall think I got problems? Let me know. @ThaFamousNobody

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