Wednesday, February 16, 2011

To be honest or not to be honest.. That is the question

A lot of people use the line “I’m not looking for anything serious.” But what I have found out that 7 times out of 10 they are looking for something serious, what their looking for just isn’t in you. I honestly think no one wants to be the person to say “yeah I’m looking to fall in love by spring. I want something serious!” You run the risk of running the person away and appearing to be desperate, thirsty and crazy. There really isn’t a win with this. You have to stay cool even if you develop feelings. No one is really honest about what they want until it’s too late. I have heard “I’m not looking for anything serious” then the same girl turned around and said “I love you” a couple weeks later. Fail. Boom! In the game where EVERYONE wants EVERYONE to be honest, NO ONE is completely honest. Pride, past pains, and uncertainty makes that honest shit hard to do. So what is the answer? There isn’t one. Just know when you’re not 100 from jump, you can’t be mad at the other party when you don’t see eye to eye.

"Im busy, Dizzy"...

I have a reoccurring problem. Every female I meet within hours of talking hit me with the “I’m a busy woman” line. This is not a problem. By all means handle your business baby girl. But if you’re using the busy line as a code for something else then you’re failing. If you’ve been hurt and trying to pace how close we get or how much I learn about you then say that from the start. If you talking to and or fucking someone else then let me know so I won’t look like a dumb ass trying to link up with you. I’m sending you sweet text messages for no reason as you getting piped down by some other guy. If you just not interested then just say that. I’m no stranger to rejection so I won’t be mad if you be upfront. I will however be upset if you waste my time and or I look like a dumb ass at the end of it.

What happens is, down the line I get use to you being busy. I get use to not spending time with you and you brushing me off. So if one day you just so happen to get lonely enough to hang out with me and we end up hitting it off and have sex I’m a still treat you like you’re busy. I will not start sending text messages more frequently; I will not try and court you again. I know my dick is good but I know it isn’t that damn good it clear schedules. Or maybe it is. (Insert cheese grin here!) Either way, you will think I’m on some other shit and you will tell your friends how much of a dog you think I am because all I wanted to do was have sex. Wrong.

If you busy, then be busy. If you’re cautious or dealing with someone else just say that therefor we can have a crystal clear understanding from jump. I know how to better deal with you with a clear understanding. We all know people make time for what they want to especially sex or love. You hitting me with that line makes me think you think I’m some dumb, thirsty ass dude with no clue how the game goes. Do NOT use the busy line as a form of hard to get, it will backfire most of the time. You started off by playing games but get mad and tell me you need a man who is mature and not on games. Now if that isn’t ass backwards. But I will end this post here before I seem like I’m angry. I’m not. It’s just annoying. -E

You have been put in... THE FRIEND ZONE!!

You did everything right this time. You waited to have sex. You let your guard down and opened up to this person and they did the same. You went on several dates before you actually seen one another house. In the couple weeks that you two have been kicking it, neither one of you crossed the line. It’s been the best experience you have had in a long ass time. One day you go to the person and tell them how you feel. How you really like them and hope that what you guys have can escalate to something more, something special, something serious. As soon as you let your guard all the way down and as soon as the butterflies in your stomach became a familiar feeling when around this person... BOOM! They put you in the friend zone. Tell you that you are more like a brother or sister to them and they wouldn’t want to mess up a good friendship. Instantly the butterflies in your stomach drop to the bottom like stones into an ocean. It wouldn’t have been so bad if you weren’t so into this person. It wouldn’t be half bad if you didn’t sit and daydream about future days spent together. Now you’re mad as hell but have to remain cool as if you completely understand where they coming from but.. you don’t.

The thoughts that run through your mind instantly after are almost crippling. Did I try to hard? Did I not try hard enough? Am I ugly? What did I do wrong? What makes it even worse is a couple weeks later this person hits you up telling you about trouble their having with someone new. As if you care to hear about that shit. In your mind you thinking “if you were with me you wouldn’t even have to deal with this shit, dummy!” But what can you do? You don’t even know where you went wrong to correct it in the future and if it has happened to you once, then it has happened to you twice. As the years go by it becomes a familiar feeling and as sad as it may seem you get use to it. You get use to everyone wanting to be best friends with you. You grow accustomed to having the feeling that you’re not good enough. Fuck respecting me! You don’t want to mess up a good friendship? Fuck this friendship! I’ll be your enemy if that’s what it takes to get closer to you. Who invented this friend zone shit? Who was the first person put in the friend zone? How did they react to this shit? Did it eat away at their confidence and self-esteem after a while? I’m not losing my cool but hell, how cool can you be sitting in the friend zone with the dunce cap on? If you ever been put in the friend zone, drop a comment. -E

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