Light Skin Vs Dark Skin

I don't know if you guys know about William Lynch and the letter he wrote in 1712 to keep African American slaves down but.. If you haven't read it. This is a direct quote from the letter. "You must use the dark skinned slaves vs the light skinned slaves, and the light skinned slaves vs. the dark skinned slaves. You must use the female vs. the male, and the male vs. the female." So for those thinking I'm just pulling this theory out my ass, I'm not.

Where I'm from, light skinned females always had to prove their "toughness" to other females but was always liked by all the guys. Dark skinned females weren't considered pretty, they were "cute to be dark skinned". The reason I'm sticking on females is because I see it more with women then men. Some light skinned females have the ugliest attitude, like their better then everyone. Its only some though who in turn fuck it up for the cool ones. Dark skinned females are often insecure because they aren't considered beautiful or attractive so that causes problems between the two. In school it was always light skinned vs dark skinned. ALWAYS! If it wasn't light skinned vs dark skin it was two light skinned females fighting for no damn reason, just to see who's tougher. Light skinned girls in one click, dark skinned girls in the other click.

I know of females who have complained that they were discriminated because of their skin tone. I can't even front, light skinned girls are considered a hot commodity by most guys. Idk why, just is. All women are sexy to me though, shit =D!!! Any who.. We racially profile our self and I just wanted to post about it because a lot of females are in denial. Its usually the light skinned females who don't see it. Why? Because they reap all the benefits of it.

Things are getting a lot better then what they were. Hell, maybe they aren't. What do you think about it though? Do you think its getting better or staying the same?

Im.. Just not that into.. Us?

A female friend asked me about females and what not and figured id just make a post about it..

No matter how much you care for me, how much money you spend on me, how much you see us together in your head, how much you text me and try to get to know me, no matter how many times we have sex, no matter how many dates we go on, no matter how many times we lay up and watch a movie in my room, I just won't be that into you.

See dating to me is more serious now that we not in middle/high school. I only make things official if I can see us together for a long period of time. Just because you see us together don't mean we seem the same thing. I know its wrong for me to entertain the idea of us. I'm sorry. But if I tell you that I no longer want to do these things, your going to make up some reason as to why we should keep "this" going. You claim that your not getting emotionally attached but I see it in your eyes when I tell you we can't hang because I got a session or something.

So, were going to keep this going until you get mad that my feelings didn't change over time as you had planned. You tell all of your friends how much of a jerk and asshole I am and have them screw they faces at me, thats cool. I know what comes along with it, just telling you now that.. I'm just not that into.. Us. =D

When is enough.. enough?

You love me, I like you. You admire me, I admire you. You believe in me, I believe in you. You trust me, I trust... I trusted you. But, you love me, I like you.. Why is it that the love and like part stick out so much more then everything else? You want to be with me, okay, I understand that. I'm flattered you want to be with me so soon. But, I don't want to be with you, not right now. See, you look in the mirror and see a beautiful person who is complete and damn there perfect. I look at the same reflection and see a person who is emotionally incomplete. A person who needs to love thyself and be happy with thyself before I can come along and be with you. I see a broken smile and a semi patched heart. I see insecurities.. Not making you out to be a bad person because that is not the case but, I can't be with a person like that. I mean, here it is, you don't know anything about me.. You know how I know you don't know anything about me? Because I haven't told you anything about me!!! So here it is, 4 months of knowing one another and you want to be together..

You love me. YOU LOVE ME.. I don't and can't love that easily but... I had to be doing something right for you to love me correct? I had to do something right for you to trust me correct? For you to smile when you hear my name right? So why isn't what we have enough? Why isn't it enough until i finally let you get to know me? Until I can smile when i hear your name or when i fully trust you? Why isn't what we have good enough for you? I mean, who's to say the way you view me, is the way I view you? I mean, I only will make you my girl friend when I feel like i can be with your forever. But you can't wait for me? How selfish is that of you? That you want what YOU want when YOU want it when it comes to US. That don't make sense to me. So sense I'm not ready to date you, I'm the bad guy? That's why I wrote you this love letter.. Saying bye. Your giving me an ultimatum of making you my girl or lose you and I think that's selfish and true colors was shown. I'm just not ready.

P.S. Have you felt like this?

The Love Hater..

I haven't had a Valentines since like 6Th grade.. When my mom bought me two tickets to the valentines day dance and Monique turned me down the last minute, literally. I bought roses and candy with my money I saved up.. She bailed on me so I gave the roses to my mom and let my sis Tee eat the candy. I was fucking pissed. I know I was young but I swore I wouldn't put my all into valentines day again. I slipped up in 05 when I bought a big ass bear, flowers and tons of fucking candy for India and she seemed the least interested that I wanted to see her on valentines day. Mind you, she was my girl friend. So I said fuck it, called up my best female friend, went to eat and gave it to her. It seems like when I give my all, I get a foot in the ass for it. Now.. I'm like fuck it all together.

Now I look at it as a day for the world to look down on the people who find peace at being single. Here you have one day out the whole year where everyone is all lovey dubby and shit. Its cute.. I admire those who give their all and get at least 90% back and sorry to all the females who give me 90 and I give them 50% back. Blame my ex's. I have been scorned!

But if your in a relationship, I figure you buy ya counter part cards, candy, flowers, make hotel reservations, cook breakfast and dinner, have great sex, tell them you love them all fucking day but... Why not do that everyday? Like.. why not be spontaneous and do it everyday oppose to the one time your suppose to do it? If we stayed happy about being in a relationship all year long, we wouldn't have soo many unfulfilled relationships we have today. You buy your counterpart that shit July 1st and they think you cheating or have something your trying to hide. I think its funny but I am not trying to hate or rain on any ones parade. Not at all. Just speaking my mind. So as the world sees X's and O's today.. I'm a be on some other shit, writing music and chilling and waiting for the female that will allow me to make everyday Feb 14Th.. Happy Valentines Day. -Eric

Sexcapade!!!

Flipped the sidekick open at 2:34 a.m, to a text I haven't seen in a few weeks, "you up"? I already knew what it meant, already knew what she wanted but I was bored so I replied back with "yeAzir". I mean, I wasn't doing nothing but watching Fresh Prince, like I do every night. "Can I come over", I dwell on it all of 2 seconds before I replied back with "yeAzir"! She a inconvenience to me so she don't get the clean room tonight.. I'm not even getting freshened up. Fuck that!! Last time she came over she didn't do shit but tease me the whole night before I said fuck it and went to sleep. BLUE BALL NATION!!! Not tonight, haha!

She call me and tell me she at the door.. I walk to the living room in basketball shorts and socks.. She had on number 6 Jordans, Pink sweat pants, and a white tee. Though she was dressed down, she looked good as hell as usual. She one of the "busy" type.. Never answer texts or call back.. Always make plans but back out for some odd reason. I suspected she had a boyfriend and didn't care to tell me.. Either way she in my house at 3 a.m.

So we get in my room and I instantly jump back in my spot before she fuck it up, its already warm! "Dang boy, wasn't nobody finna get in yo spot"! She took her shoes off and climbed next to me and ask me what I was doing as if she didn't ask me that via text 20 minutes ago.. I cut to the chase and asked why she come over so late. "Oh so you don't want me over here"? I then ignored her. Lord knows I wanted her ass next to me but not if she was gone tease me. So I told her yeah and watched TV.

I felt myself dozing off. Yeah, she still next to me but fuck it, I'm sleepy and last time we was in this situation she ended the night teasing. I leaned over, gave her a kiss on her forehead and laid back down. "Aw that was so cute, do it again DizZ", here she go, teasing and paying already. So I leaned over again and she grabbed me by my wife beater on top of her. In my mind I'm thinking she teasing and won't shit come from it, WRONG. So she kiss me and even though I got some big ass lips and enjoy kissing, I don't just kiss every female but... I kissed her. She was a little more into it this time so I ran with it. She reached in, grabbed my dick and said "I want it", so... I gave it. Flipped over to my back and put her on top of me, I did this just to see if she was serious. She took my wife beater and I took off her white tee... Then her sweat pants.. She had on some cute pink panties with matching bra. I love it!!

So she starts kissing on me which rarely happens these days, chicks are lazy as hell in bed so I've kinda gotten use to doing all the work. But she was kissing and licking, catching me off guard and I loved it! She started going down my chest, pulled my shorts down and put it in her mouth. She was soo nasty with it, spitting on it, licking it, making all types of noises and moaning.. I was more entertained then turned on by it. She was going ham till I told her to stop.. I wanted to get some strokes in. I made her stop, lay on her side as I slide in. DEEP! I can tell this was her first time for that cause she started doing some crazy shit with her eyes and making strange moaning sounds. This was all to funny for me! She then pushed me off turned over and moaned "fuck me".. But when she turned over, that kitty was sooo damn pretty, I put my face in it, LMAO why not?? Her knees buckled a little bit but I grabbed her by her waist and stuck my tongue in then played with it.. Soo fun! Then I slid in from the back. She was suuuuper wet, I felt like scuba Steve for a second, BIG DADDY! She was lowkey running from it so I put her against the wall and she couldn't take it. She was creaming, fucking up my sheets!! I had to get a nut off though so.. I did and slid back out... I'm not ever over dramatic with a nuts less its from some bomb ass head..

I got up and went to the bathroom to wash myself off.. Threw the condom inside the Kroger bag behind the door. I heard her phone ring and knew it was someone "serious" cause official girl was the ring tone.. She answered and I heard her say "I told you I was staying with my moms tonight, why you tripping boy?" Hmm, as I look into the mirror and seen a slight grin on the man looking back at me. This shit gotta stop.. But, not tonight!! Round 2?? DIZZY!!!!

P.S. Don't yall judge me! haha

Letter to you..

I don't know why you don't like me. I mean it aint like you know me. Before I was born, you probably had it out for me huh? Yup! Growing up, I never seen you, you never showed your face. Were you ashamed of me? I understand you and Tonya had beef but that didn't have anything to do with me. You let the beef between you and her stop us from having a any type of relationship. With all that said, I didn't let 18 years of turmoil stop me from picking up the phone and calling you trying to patch shit up. But when I talked to you, I heard how un fucking interested you was about me going to college. How un fucking interested you was about me doing music and following my dream. How un fucking interested you was that I was okay and I'm doing my thang... That shit hurt me. It only hurt because they only person I want to acknowledge my accomplishments don't. They only person I want to have a solid relationship, don't want to have one.

You wasn't there to teach me to shave, talk to girls, catch a ball, ride a bike, drive a car, fight, NOTHING! But hey, I got pretty damn good at it. You can't take pride in nothing when it comes to me. You waited too fucking long to man up. But what makes it soo bad.. I aint talking to a friend or a ex girl friend. Im talking about you Dad. It wouldnt be so bad if you didn't have a wife and two other kids who you spoil to death. Who you watch grow up. Who you cherish like their your pride and joy when I came 11 or 12 years before them both. Everything I wanted to do with you, you do with them. Thats what makes it so bad to me. But its cool. You a regret the lack of communication before I do. -Eric

p.s. This is for anyone who feels like they dont have the relationship they would like to have with any of their parents. Even if you was raised with your dad or mom, they could have been absent in your life.

p.p.s. So fucking what I let my personal life leak over into my blog. I know tons of motha fuckas who can relate. Gotta problem, fuk you and 13 motha fucks who resemble you even a little bit haha!!

Perfect Stranger?

What do I get out of talking to you? I mean, I don't know you personally and yet, I can tell you all my personal shit. The most I know about you is a profile pic you took in your bathroom and a few other pictures you took with some friends. Your first name and your screen name. Where you from and.. That's about it. Why do I trust you? Why when I feel like I can't talk to anybody, I can log on yahoo, aim or any other medium online and release whatever is on my mind?

When we first started talking, I admit I didn't think shit would come of it. I had one of my moments where I was mad at the world and you just so happen to be the victim online to hear about it. You don't know me and yet you seemed so interested in my problems and concerned. We typed back and forth for what seemed like 30 mins but was actually a few hours. I don't remember where I got your screen name from. Had to be facebook or myspace cause I don't fuck with blackplanet or twitter. Even thouh we talk on aim/yahoo all the time, neither one of us dare ask for each others number. Ohhhh noo!! You might be some crazy as killer haha, as ironic as that sounds, its the truth! Here it is, we talk everyday sometimes all day about personal shit, shit we wouldn't tell anyone else and we won't exchange numbers or meet up.

To take take place of meeting up we exchange pics. Not regular pics of course but nasty ones. I show u mine, you show me yours. Occasional web cam sessions, you know how that go. But whatever it is we have, it fills a void that no one can seem to fill in person. When I need to vent, you're there. When comcast was fucking up after that storm and I had no Internet for a couple days, I damn ner lost my mind. You have to be somewhat of a close friend to me, you have to be. But all of this happened over a computer? Why? How? I talk about people like me! When someone say they met someone online and shit, I laugh at them but here I am.. Chatting my ass off to you. I guess I understand now.

I know someone has met someone online at least once and they hit it off. Seemed to be the perfect stranger.. Don't make me seem like I'm crazy.. O well, fuck it. It aint the first time I have been called that.

P.S. I have no perfect strangers at the moment but I have. Just had to put a disclaimer since folks think I spread my buisness all on the web lol.

-DizZy

Your opinions....

Fuck every ones opinion lol!!. It is a lot of talking going on these days and a lot of questions being asked and its kind of pissing me off. Not a lot but a tad. Since when did YOUR opinion matter? Who cares what you think about anything? The shit you are suppose to care about, you don't such as, life insurance, why your counterpart is fucking your neighbor, your grades and what you are going to do after you graduate. Stuff like that I can see if folks talked about that but not, Kanye West at fashion week, why T-pain keep using auto tune, about lil wayne and his street credibility, Rick Ross being a cop and all the other little hollywood/hollyhood shit yall seem to blog about all the fucking time.

I read, or skim I should say, alot of these blogs and they all be about the same thing. All voicing their opinion about something that don't even matter. Its a few of you who are now telling sex stories and crazy shit. I started a trend.. To bad your word play isnt as good as mine haha. Maybe its just my attitude but I don't give a fuck what you folks think. I only write on blogspot to tell my stories, I don't analyze videos, pictures, situations or anything. Its not my place to voice my opinion aout shit that don't matter. I'm not bashing the folks who sit up and voice their opinion on stuff, just asking when did that become cool? Fuck that and your opinions. -dizZy

p.s. Don't catch feelings bloggers. Just thought I had to throw that out there.